To be totally honest, I don’t really give two hoots about Crystal Audigier or the fact that she turned 16 years old … I was really drawn to these event photos when I saw one of the birthday gifts that her daddy gave her last night. After the jump, find out what it was …

That’s right, y’all … Crystal Audigier got the gift that any 16-year old girl would want to unwrap and play with — a half-nekkid underwear model named Justin Gaston! HMM, I wonder if Miley Cyrus knew about this. Incidentally, I understand that daddykins also gave his little princess two cars as well … personally, I’d've been happy with just the underwear model.

[Photo credit: Splash News, X17]

Since 1978, Diesel has been producing (in my opinion) the most consistently cool fashions around. Year after year, season after season, Diesel has been designing and producing the hippest fashions, the coolest accessories and the best jeans around. While other fashion houses may have more caché, I find that Diesel manages to put out very cutting-edge fashions that are relatively inexpensive (at least, compared to the higher-priced fashion houses). I’ve been a Diesel fan for years and rarely ever go anywhere without wearing at least one piece from Diesel. But, I digress … last night’s Rock & Roll Circus soiree in NY was a balls-out shindig that really did bring out all the coolest kids in town. The concert was broadcast live online and performers included Chaka Kahn, Franz Ferdinand, T.I., Pharrell, Hot Chip and the always amazing M.I.A. — who also inadvertantly made an announcement while she performed on stage. She is pregs, y’all! After the jump, check out a few pics of M.I.A.’s very prominent baby bump …

Even while very pregs, M.I.A. still manages to bring the heat in her live performances. I had no idea that she was with child but I am very much looking forward to seeing her become a mom. Can you think of a cooler mother than M.I.A.? That kid is gonna be dope. In any event, Anniversary Lurve goes out to Diesel today! Here’s to at least another 30 years of fashion innovation and outright coolness.

[Photo credit: Splash News, Wireimage]

For the most part, I found the red carpet pretty tame … I mean, there really weren’t that many “hot messes” to speak of. Of course you had your usual poor fashion choices (that red and black dress did not really work on P!nk for me, nor did I like Rihanna’s outfit choice … Xtina looked hawt!) but that’s to be expected. Personally, I had a hard time focusing while on the red carpet … we were lined up in the blazing SoCal sun hours before the first celeb walked the carpet … it wasn’t that pleasant. I did get to snap some fun pics and meet a few very COOL folks … but I’ll post those pics a bit later on.

As for the show itself, I have not yet been able to watch it in its entirety, properly but I did manage to catch most of it on the huge screens that were plastered all over the VIP green room last night. After the jump, check out some pics from the show itself and take one more look at Xtina Aguilera’s amazing performance …

No Madonna kiss. No Michael Jackson cameo. No flying Howard Stern. Not even a Kanye tantrum. MTV has set a high standard for the unexpected at its Video Music Awards, but on the show’s 25th anniversary, the network instead settled for throwing its full support behind Britney Spears’ comeback. Spears won a leading three awards, including video of the year for Piece of Me. Any spontaneity was left to host Russell Brand, the British comic whose rock star style and outlandish candor gave the Los Angeles show a pulse. But at the end of the night Sunday, even the manic and mangy Brand — a confessed former sex addict — could only summon a comic semi-feud with the young Jonas Brothers over their premarital celibacy. But while Brand was unpredictable, witty and offensive, Spears was resolutely careful, determined to set right her pop star image. She was, after all, returning to the scene of the crime, so to speak. At last year’s VMAs — Britney Comeback 1.0 — her unpolished performance was roundly disparaged. In each acceptance speech Sunday, Spears spoke briefly, thanked God and dedicated the awards to her fans. Even while opening the show, she was all business, zipping through her few lines of introduction. “Thank you so much,” she said flatly as the crowd greeted her with a standing ovation. “Thank you for all the love.” MTV has a habit of reengineering the VMAs every year, and, true to form, took this year’s show to the Paramount Studios lot in Los Angeles. After last year’s awards, splashed throughout a Las Vegas hotel, MTV re-centered the action to a more traditional main stage. The performances, though, often traveled back into the reaches of the Paramount lot. The Jonas Brothers played their song Lovebug on a fake building’s stoop, before the set fell away and throngs of screaming fans ran down fictional city streets to surround them. Unwittingly, the Jonas Brothers — one of the hottest young acts to the MTV audience — became the night’s biggest talking point. Brand repeatedly joked about their purity rings, which each wears as a symbol of their vow not to have premarital sex. At one point, Brand brandished one as if he had won it from a Jonas brother. American Idol champ — and fellow promise ring wearer — Jordin Sparks defended the brothers while presenting an award: “I just wanna say, it’s not bad to wear a promise ring because not every guy and a girl wants to be a slut, OK?” Brand was happy to apologize for any hurt feelings, but only to such a degree. After the show, he told The Associated Press, “I feel a bit bad that I kept talking about their vows to chastity and I’d like to take this opportunity to say no one ever have sex again. It’s a mad idea. What a way to spend an evening.” A celebrity in England but relatively unknown in the States, Brand proved an interesting mix with the VMA crowd, who seemed unsure of how to react to his lack of political correctness. In his opening monologue, he joked about Madonna, virgins and President Bush, whom he called “that retarded cowboy fellow.” He pleaded, “Please, America, elect Barack Obama. On behalf of the world.” Some in the star-studded crowd cheered, while others — like Spears — sat quietly. The rest of the evening was mostly given to performances, many of which paired performers in unusual combinations. The prim and proper Leona Lewis joined Lil’ Wayne, who later joined Kid Rock. Lil’ Wayne took home the best hip hop video for Lollipop … Closing the night was Kanye West who, like Spears, was hoping for a second chance after a disappointing VMA experience last year. In Las Vegas, he had a Kanye-sized hissy fit backstage and vowed never to appear at the VMAs again after he didn’t get a Moonman trophy despite several nominations. West again went home without an award this year; there were only eight awards in total. Videos from Chris Brown (With You), Linkin Park (”Shadow of the Day) and the Pussycat Dolls (When I Grow Up) took home awards for best male video, best rock video and best dancing in a video, respectively. Best new artist went to Tokio Hotel, while Spears’ Piece of Me won for best female video, best pop video and video of the year.

Much congrats to all the winners, especially Tokio Hotel who managed to pull off the biggest surprise win (Best New Artist) of the night, I thought. A few folks have mentioned that they didn’t believe that Britney Spears’s Piece of Me was deserving of Video of the Year but I contend that Britney has been owed Video Music Awards for years and it was time to pay up. I find it absolutely apropos that she won big last night. Regarding Russell Brand’s opening political remarks well … they didn’t sit too well with some folks. Not 10 mintues after he cracked his jokes, I received an email from an angry reader in Dallas, TX who found Brand’s remarks “biased” and “insulting” and was especially angry at MTV for allowing “a foreigner to insult the United States President and be cheered on by all the role models of Americas”. This reader went on to say that “MTV should be burned for treason”, which I feel is taking things a bit far but this was their opinion. Personally, I expected Brand to do or say something outrageous because that is what he is known for in the UK. I mean, jokes are jokes … Brand did what he could to make himself stand out and I think he accomplished his mission. But, again, for me that wasn’t the focus of the night. All in all, from what I saw, MTV did a great job staging the VMAs all over the Paramount lot … I thought it was inventive to use the backlot areas for live performances. Kanye West’s closing performance was really hot. Outside, with all those lights and possibly a few drummers from the 2008 Olympic Opening Ceremonies in Beijing, China … he really turned it out. BUT, I do contend that Xtina gave the hottest performance of the night. In case you missed it, check it out again: