Here is a pic of the top three Survivor: Gabon finalists at the live prize announcement and reunion special that aired on CBS last night:

That’s right … Susie, Bob and Sugar made it to the very end of the game. After the jury asked questions and voted, the person who was awarded the million dollar prize and the title of Ultimate Survivor is — after the jump …

… by a very narrow vote — Bob Crowley, the lovable and highly skilled high school physics teacher:

Raise your test tubes, science nerds; Bob Crowley is the newest Survivor. The lovable and lanky physics teacher from Portland, Maine, can afford a fancier bowtie — and perhaps a brand new lab — after winning $1 million on Sunday’s finale of Survivor: Gabon. Crowley picked up the seven-figure cheque after pulling in four votes to runnerup Susie Smith’s three (and third place finalist Sugar Kiper’s zero) from a jury of previous castoffs. No shocker here, folks. The earnest quintagenarian was by far the most deserving Survivor on the reality TV competition’s 17th edition. He won five consecutive challenges — the most anyone has ever won in the show’s history — and had the strategic elements of the game down to a, well, science. Even so, the road to wealth was rougher than a rhino’s backside for teach Bob — who won’t have to return to the classroom (but probably will, because that’s the kinda guy he is). Last night’s two-hour finale was chock-full of eliminations, as the final five were quickly rounded down to one. It was game over first for 22-year-old mastermind Ken Hoang, a professional video gamer who was shockingly blindsided by fellow castaways Bob, Sugar, Matty Whitmore and Susie Smith at the first tribal council meeting of the night. Bob fell through on his promise to give little Kenny his immunity necklace two councils in a row — and he sure could have used it that second time. Then went Matty, a 29-year-old personal trainer who had all the muscles any Survivor could need — but couldn’t start a fire to save his life. After he and Bob each received two votes at the second council meeting, host Jeff Probst announced the tie-breaker game would be a repeat of a challenge a few weeks ago where the castaways had to ignite a blaze that would burn through a rope. Outdoorsy Bob aced the challenge, leaving poor Matty out in the cold … If it’s any consolation, Matty got a say in who did get the prize as part of the jury — also including fellow castoffs Ken, Marcus Lehman, Charlie Herschel, Randy Bailey, Corinne Kaplan and Crystal Cox. Survivor’s 17th grill session wasn’t without a few punches: Kenny confronted Bob about the immunity necklace lies; Corinne asked Susie if she would agree to have her vocal chords removed if she won the million — before throwing a low-blow to Sugar by mentioning her dead father; and Randy unleashed his jerky ‘tude to give Sugar and Bob heck for laughing at him when he was voted out after attempting to use a fake idol they gave him. While the rant session took place in Gabon, Probst carried that rustic ballot box all the way to Hollywood so the winner could be revealed before a live studio audience — and with the final three fully shaved, clothed and made up to look like re-civilized human beings. Too bad we only saw them looking this way for, like, five minutes at the tail end of the show.

Man, I gotta say … I thoroughly enjoyed this season of Survivor. I have been quietly watching the show religiously for the past 10 seasons or so it’s safe to say I’m a fan. I was very surprised that Susie made it this far in the game … people carried her along because she was not a threat in any fashion and she ended up winning just the right immunity rewards at the right time. The game is funny that way. I honestly thought that Sugar played a great game. For much of the season I, too, discounted her as a dumb blonde who wouldn’t last long … she ended up playing the most strategic game out of all the contestants — she was smarter than the smartest folks on the island (save for Bob) that that pissed them all off … especially Corinne. Bob, tho, really deserved the prize … and our love. I was shocked that he almost lost the prize to Susie … by only one vote! That would’ve been a shocker to end all shockers.

The other contestants, I have to say, were pitiful players. Kenny ended up bitter and pissed that he was outplayed, Corinne turned into a very jealous loser and, I think, embarrassed herself by questioning Sugar’s feelings for her dead father and Randy, well, I genuinely believe him to be a sad, pathetic person … period. His always bitter attitude and the way he spoke to people really showed his true colors. Sugar should’ve won an award for being the person to really stick it to that a-hole who treated everyone like dirt and then was lookin’ for sympathy when he was made a fool of on live TV (in regards to the fake immunity necklace that he got conned into using, thereby allowing him to get kicked off the island). Okay, I’m rambling … but I will confess that I actually teared up when Bob won. At 57, he is the oldest winner of Survivor and he won it all by using his brains over his fairly nonexistent brawn. He truly deserved the prize and I am thrilled that he won. Bob also went home with the $100,000 Fan Favorite prize as well. All the $$$ and accolades couldn’t have gone to a nicer Survivor. Congrats … and thanks for a great season!!

[Photo credit: Wireimage; Source]

CBS, the network that gave us the Nipple That Knicker-Knotted a Nation, now brings us the Peekaboo Penis. The self-appointed watchdog group Parents Television Council has filed an indecency complaint with the Federal Communications Commission over the season debut of “Survivor: Gabon” — ironically the first episode of this series to be broadcast in high-definition. If you look closely at participants in a race, you see Marcus Lehman’s little colonel “falling out” of his boxer shorts as he runs to the finish line, PTC reports. “The image was not obscured in any way,” PTC notes in disgust. In fairness, the episode had a lot of pixelation — just not of Lehman’s male pride. “Although this instance was brief, it was nonetheless shocking and purposeful,” PTC President Tim Winter said in a statement. CBS, in a statement, insisted it was “a completely unintentional, inadvertent and fleeting incident that was virtually undetectable when viewed in real time.” “Fleeting” was the word of choice when the Super Bowl Nipplegate story broke, too. “In the first 24 hours after the broadcast, before freeze-frame images were widely posted online, we received one viewer comment from the 13 million who watched the telecast,” the network said. PTC had this to say about that: “CBS’s decision to hide behind excuses that the incident was ‘fleeting’ and didn’t generate an immediate flood of complaints is the epitome of irresponsibility. The number of ‘fleeting’ penises we expect to see on broadcast television is zero.”

I mean … seriously. Some folks are so uptight, it’s ridiculous. Millions of folks had no idea that there was any P33N flashed on last Thursday night’s ep of Survivor and the P33N in question only came to light when studious and very observant folks slowed down the video (and screencapped it). I absolutely do not believe that it was intentional and find the entire matter wholly entertaining. It wasn’t a big deal (sorry, Marcus) and lodging a complaint like this is only going to turn it into a big deal. That being said, I think a look back that those hilarious screencaps (and that amazing animated gif) might be in order :) Do any of y’all think this is a legitimate complaint or is really much ado about nothing?

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I kind half expected these two to kiss or something … but unfortch for Charlie, that never happened.

And then came the p33n … during one of the challenges, Marcus was running around in his loose-fitting undies when his penis kinda popped out of hiding to come out and say hello:

After the jump, check out the NSFW uncensored screencaps (and a VERY FUN animated gif) of Marcus’s p33n poppin’ out of his undies …

During the actual broadcast, the action went by too fast to see anything in “real time” but the screencaps clearly show that Marcus’s penis came out to say hello. Additionally, the industrious chaps at the DreamCaps forum created an animated gif that show the action, well, “in action”:

I mean, this shizz is funny, y’all. Sure it may be a *bit* childish but whatevs … US network TV is so sanitized that a little flash of p33n every once-in-a-while is good for the soul. Wouldn’t you agree? Thanks Marcus!

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