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Last Summer Comedy Central threw a celebrity roast event so that they cold honor skewer Joan Rivers and this year they set their sights on actor David Hasselhoff. Folks like Jerry Springer, Pamela Anderson and Hulk Hogan were on hand to do the honors … which shows you just how little regard Comedy Central has for Hasselhoff. Here are some photos from the red carpet arrivals last night and some deets from the event:

David Hasselhoff is finally at peace with his video demons. After a number of setbacks — including the unceremonious bump off the judges’ table on “America’s Got Talent” — Hollywood’s cheesiest former lifeguard threw himself at the mercy of co-stars, comics and random celebrities last night in LA at the Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff. “I told him is that once you do this, no one will ever be able to make fun of you again,” comedian Jeffrey Ross tells The Post. “It is a gauntlet that you will never be able to top. It showed a lot of integrity.” There were, of course, lots of barbs about Baywatch, booze, babes and burgers. “How do you put somebody down when they are already lying shirtless on the floor?” asked roastmaster Seth MacFarlane. Then the gloves came off. Pamela Anderson: “David, I really want to work with you again someday, but there’s no work for me in gay porn.” Lisa Lampinelli: “I don’t want to say David drank a lot, but his liver is so black and bloated it could have starred in Precious.” Hulk Hogan: “David never had sex with any of his co-stars…because back then they didn’t have roofies.” Ross: “The difference between Hasselhoff and Hitler is at least Hitler knew when his career was over.” Hasselhoff said he welcomed the opportunity to finally poke fun at his recent struggles with alcohol and the now infamous cheeseburger video. “In the beginning I didn’t do (acknowledge) it because it was in a very personal matter that involved the custody of my children and a tape that was illegally released,” he said. “Everybody was making fun of it. I could have gone on Larry King…but I wouldn’t do it. I said ‘I want to address it the way I want to address it and tonight was the way to do that. It was incredibly therapeutic. It feels great.”

I’m telling you, David Hasselhoff LOVED every single second of last night’s roast. The man has an uncanny ability to laugh at himself and bask in the glory that anyone even cares enough to pay attention to him long enough to poke fun at him. I bet he was in hog heaven last night. The Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff won’t air on Comedy Central until August 15 but after the jump you can check out a promo video featuring the Hoff himself hyping up his own celebrity roast …

Earlier this week we learned which celebs will be competing on the upcoming 10th season of Dancing with the Stars — including the AMAZING Shannen Doherty — and today we get to see the celeb contestants’ paired up promo photos each with their professional dancing partners:

“Dancing With The Stars” has slots to fill. Every season, they try to make it seem like they’re choosing “stars” based on their immediate relevance and for variety, but every season, you’re reminded that they have a limited number of types who are cast, and the new season, announced during Monday night’s finale of “The Bachelor,” is no different. The most controversial name is Kate Gosselin. She’s there to be the polarizing one. Like Tom DeLay, Denise Richards, and Kim Kardashian before her, Kate is there strictly because some people will recoil at the sight of her. Her dancing ability is a closed book for the moment, and notoriety is unlikely to get her to the final stages of the competition, but her name recognition should keep her safe in the opening rounds. The “Dancing” raid of the “Beverly Hills, 90210” dressing rooms of the past continues with the appearance of Shannen Doherty. Doherty must surely be the Moby-Dick for producers who have spent previous seasons settling for her onetime co-stars Ian Ziering and Jennie Garth. Her reputation as a buster of chops precedes her, much as distant rumbling precedes an invasion by Godzilla, so many will tune in to see whether she can be made to tango properly or will simply bite off the head of her partner. (She will also undoubtedly hope to outlast her long-ago ex-husband Ashley Hamilton, who lasted three days on the show last season.)

OMG … Kate Gosselin vs. Shannen Doherty … only on reality TV, folks … OY! As I mentioned before, I don’t watch DWTS but now that they’ve cast Shannen for the new season, well, I’m gonna hafta watch my girl kick ass now won’t I? After the jump, check out the rest of the Dancing with the Stars Season 10 promo photos so you can size up the competition for yourselves …

You prolly wouldn’t consider Pamela Anderson a big reader but I will now present to you photographic evidence to the contrary … Pammy pie was on hand at an event in Beverly Hills, CA last night where Hugh Hefner was signing books and Pamela picked up a little reading material to take home with her …

… yes, folks, apparently Pamela could not resist taking home a book titled The Big Penis Book. Now, lest you get any funny ideas that Pamela is a connoisseur of literature, I feel compelled to inform you that The Big Penis Book is actually a book of photographs of, you guessed it, big penises. Now, I would never want to dissuade anyone from showing an interest in books so far be it for me to besmirch Ms. Anderson for her choice in reading material … but as far as the sight of Pamela Anderson holding an actual book goes, well, it doesn’t get more perfect than this.

[Photo credit: Splash News]

Pamela Anderson, who is in Australia to appear on the competitive reality TV show Big Brother, showed off her skills to TV show hosts Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O after she spent 2 hours in the Big Brother house … Pammy pie did her best to show just how lady-like she can really be:

After a two-hour stint on Australian Big Brother, it seems the contestants’ exhibitionism has rubbed off on Pamela Anderson. As during an interview following her time as a guest, the ex-Baywatch star did the splits in an impromptu performance for presenters Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O. Wearing a tight, white halterneck dress did not stop the 41-year-old mum-of-two from showing off her flexibility on Australia’s Ten Network.

And folks think that Pamela Anderson has no talent. Pshaw.

[Source]

Pamela Anderson may have turned 41 years old on July 1 but she didn’t properly celebrate the occasion until her party at LAX nightclub at the Luxor Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, NV last night. With her, um, friend Criss Angel by her side, Pammy Pie partied the night away amongst tattoo artists, hangers-on and a big, pink birthday cake which she proceeded to do semi-pornographic things to … behold:

It may not be commonplace for one to perform fellatio on frosted baked goods where you come from but I think it’s pretty much par for the course in Sin City, especially with a lady like Pamela Anderson :) She’s a classy broad, I tells ya. As far as I can tell, none of Pammy‘s ex-husbands were in the hiz to celebrate her birthday with her, just Mr. Angel. I’m pretty sure that nothing is going on between those two but it’s so hard to keep track of Pamela‘s men. Honestly, I won’t believe that she and Criss are romantically involved until they get married and divorced a few times … and come to think of it, it has been a few months since Pamela Anderson got married, she’s about due for her next husband/ex-husband. In any event, I hope that Pammy pie had herself a nice birthday. I also hope that the poor cake didn’t hate itself in the morning.

[Photo credit: Wireimage]