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Michael Lohan, who seems to get arrested about as much as his daughter Lindsay Lohan does, was busted for the umpteenth time last night on allegations that he physically assaulted his ex-girlfriend Kate Major. The pair reportedly ran into one another last night and apparently, Lohan flew into a violent fit of rage which resulted in his alleged assault on her. Lohan turned himself in but had to be hospitalized afterward (as a diversionary tactic, I’m sure). He is expected to be booked and mug shot after he gets out of the hospital. But, yeah, Daddy Lohan got busted … again!

For some unknown reason (except, mebbe, for media whore pandering), Michael Lohan has been cast to appear in the upcoming new season of (charlatan) Dr. Drew Pinksy‘s reality TV series Celebrity Rehab. As you may recall, Lohan appeared in Florida recently to counsel a group of troubled teens there on the dangers of addiction and now he is going to “rehab” himself. Lindsay Lohan is, reportedly, pissed off as Hell that her father is going on the show because she believes that he will only serve to embarrass her family. Um … I think the ship has sailed on that front, Linds. The Lohan family name is a complete joke already (to the point where Michael Lohan, Jr. is planning to change his name completely). Read on to find out which other tragic sub z-list celebs have also been cast on the show.

At last … a member of the Lohan family did something smart and worth praising. Lindsay Lohan‘s younger brother Michael Lohan, Jr. is the first born son of Dina and Michael Lohan (Sr.) and, therefore, was unfortunately saddled with his father’s name. Little did anyone know that little Michael Lohan would be inheriting such a wretchedly embarrassing name. So, Michael Lohan, Jr. is reportedly changing his name to Michael Cameron so as to not be confused with his trainwreck of a father Michael Lohan. You follow?

For some reason totally unknown to me, Michael Lohan — trainwreck father of his even more trainwrecky daughter Lindsay Lohan — was asked to counsel troubled rehabbing teens in Florida. As a result, Lohan flew across the country to talk to the young kids before he flew back early this morning to attend Lindsay‘s felony grand theft court hearing. All in a days’ work for Daddy Lohan.

Lindsay Lohan appeared in court this morning to go before the judge, again, for the ongoing case of felony grand theft brought against her. L. Lo, in a plunging neckline, showed to court and was in and out relatively quickly. The District Attorney arguing the case against Lindsay has offered a plea bargain to settle the case but because any bargain on the table would require jailtime, Lindsay refuses to take the deal. As a result, the case will go to trial and this saga of the stolen necklace will continue.

Last week a new GQ magazine interview with Billy Ray Cyrus was released wherein he publicly expressed his belief that Hannah Montana — the Disney TV show that brought his daughter fame and fortune — “destroyed” his family. As a result, his daughter Miley Cyrus has expressed to friends that she is pissed at her father for giving the interview. Now Michael Lohan, the king of the d-bags, is trying to worm his way into the conversation by issuing an open letter to Billy Ray as a show of support … but to me, IMHO, it just sounds like Lohan is merely looking for a little attention for himself. Read on for the full text of Lohan‘s letter to Billy Ray.

So … things are moving ahead swiftly in the investigation to determine if Lindsay Lohan is guilty of stealing a $2,000.+ necklace. As you may recall, we learned earlier that a jewelry store in Venice, CA has alleged that L. Lo walked out of their store with one of their necklaces without paying for it … and now Lindsay faces another possibility that she may get thrown back in jail. Earlier today, Linds met up with her probation officer to discuss the matter … shizz is gettin’ real, y’all.

Yesterday we learned the marginally disconcerting news that Michael Lohan, the media-hungry fame-mongering father of trainwrecky Lindsay Lohan, was hospitalized here in SoCal after complaining of chest pains during a medical procedure. Today we learn the happy news that Lohan made it thru heart surgery and successfully had his arteries unblocked.

When last we checked in with trainwreck father Michael Lohan, he was bizzy saving the lives of both man and animal during a small apartment fire in the building he lives in here in SoCal. Today we check in with Lohan again but this time, he’s the one in danger. Daddy Lohan went to see the doctor about getting his nose fixed and ended up having to be hospitalized for chest pains. Yikes!

It turns out that Michael Lohan is actually good for something. Last night, his apartment complex caught fire and Lohan‘s inner hero awoke with enough strength to break thru a glass case — with his bare hands — to gain access to a fire extinguisher! AND, he saved his dog from the deadly flames!! Unsurprisingly, Lohan made himself available to TMZ cameras for interviews as the building smoldered behind him but … yeah, can you believe he actually did something semi-marginally heroic?