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Yesterday, Saturday June 18, was supposed to be the day that Playboy playmate Crystal Harris was supposed to get married to Playboy mogul Hugh Hefner. Instead, after calling off the wedding earlier in the week, Harris made her way to Las Vegas, NV on what was supposed to be her wedding day to hang out at a pool party with … Heidi Montag. That’s right, folks, in a seeming attempt to cement herself as a Z-List nobody, Crystal traded in a life with Hefner to hang out with likes of Montag.

We don’t get to see much of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt here on the blog anymore, mainly because their attempts to saturate the public consciousness with their overindulgent and contrived bullshizz had gotten completely unstomachable, but the couple are making news today with news of their split. That’s right, folks … the couple who were destined to rule Hell together have decided to call it quits and break-up. Now, I know what you’re thinking … this does sound like another of their crafty schemes to garner new attention for themselves (which they surely must be missing since no one really pays attention to them anymore) but I suppose there is 0.01% that news of their break-up is true. Let’s just take this at face value and believe for a second that Speidi are dunzo, y’all!

Heidi Montag has separated from husband Spencer Pratt, TMZ has learned. Heidi’s rep tells TMZ, “Heidi is looking to move out due to all the fake bad press that Spencer controls. She’s tired of it and is looking for a place and wants to focus on her acting career.” We’re told Heidi is looking for a new place to live … in Malibu. As TMZ first reported, Heidi and Spencer called the police on Heidi’s mom a few weeks back … so there’s been plenty of turmoil. A source close to Heidi and Spencer tells TMZ the tension in the relationship has been building for a while now … “It wasn’t just a sudden thing.” Now it makes sense … On Tuesday, Heidi tweeted, “I am not Heidi Pratt, I am Heidi Montag.”

Sources tell TMZ Heidi Montag is pulling the plug on her marriage mainly because Spencer Pratt has taken away her friends and family. We’re told she has been complaining bitterly that Spencer is so controlling he isolated her from all her friends. The final straw, however, was earlier this month, when Spencer called the cops on Heidi’s mom when she came a callin’. And, Heidi is saying, she wants to break into acting but says people in Hollywood don’t want to work with her because she has “a loose cannon of a husband.” We’re told Heidi will be renting a Malibu beach house with Jennifer Bunney, one of her best friends. As Heidi herself puts it, “I want more girl time.” Bunney tells TMZ … “Heidi has spent so much time with Spencer and now she wants to be able to spend more time with herself and friendships.” And Bunney says … she and Heidi will be doing their very own reality show which begins filming in July, which will focus on their relationship struggles and … of course … plastic surgery.

You will note that I used a photo of Speidi from last year, before Heidi‘s latest round of plastic surgery. I just cannot look at what she’s done her face and body and take her seriously … at all. You’ll have to pardon my skepticism because it’s completely impossible to believe a single word that is uttered from either Heidi or Spencer. The couple are so good at using every opportunity to garner attention for themselves that everything they say and do is suspect. I mean, a break-up is the only thing that could get them any attention these days.

That being said, and if we are to believe that any of this is true at all … I could see how Heidi might hook up with Jen Bunney to try and pitch a new reality TV show together. I’m hearing that no one, and I mean NO ONE is at all interested in buying a reality show on just Speidi so it makes sense that they would “split up” so Heidi can try and sell a show on her own. Jen Bunney is the saddest, most tragic alum from the Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County days … she would do anything to be back on TV again. This partnership sounds a new marriage made in Hell and it could be real … or just another showmance to garner a little attention. You may or may not have heard … Heidi is trying to get cast in the upcoming sequel film Transformers 3 … might this surprise split be an attempt to get more press mentions in the hopes of scoring that role? Whatever is going on, Speidi are deffo counting on the new attention. What do y’all think … are they worth our caring?

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Earlier this month we got to see a batch of promo photos of the season 6 cast of The Hills which included the much-expanded Heidi Montag. Montag‘s ample assets were very much on display in Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago but weren’t really showcased in the latest promo video for the show … and, well, we can’t have that now, can we? Here is a new composite cast photo made up of new photos of season 6 cast of The Hills:

Because Montag‘s husband Spencer Pratt has been excluded from the final season of the show, MTV used an old photo of him to be Photoshopped into this composite. But, let’s be honest, Heidi Montag paid a lot of money for her new breasts and they should be featured front and center in every new Hills promo photo — like the ones that you can see after the jump …

The quite literally overinflated Hills star Heidi Montag was on hand to make an in-person appearance at the opening event for the new Liquid Pool and Lounge at the Aria Resort and Casino in the City Center entertainment complex in Las Vegas, NV yesterday afternoon. As you can see from the photos below, Heidi had all of her cosmetic surgery upgrades on full display at yesterday’s event … check ‘em out:

On Friday, we got to see the new promo photos for the upcoming 6th and final season of The Hills and got a pretty good look at what Heidi has done surgically to her face. These photos show, very plainly, what she has done to her breasts. I managed to find a special plug-in tool for Adobe Photoshop CS 4 and with it I’ve been able to use an x-ray effect on Heidi‘s chest to show what exactly she has implanted in her breasts to make them look this bulbous. Find out what she is hiding inside her chest after the jump …

It’s been quite some time since we last seen or heard from either Heidi Montag or her hubby Spencer Pratt here on the blog and, as I understand it, a large number of y’all are happy about that fact. But this week, Montag released her debut album aptly titled Superficial and she gave an interview to Entertainment Weekly that is SO outside the bounds of sanity that I simply have to share it with all y’all. I plead your forgiveness and ask that you read this interview and enjoy it for the ridiculously delusional entertainment that it provides:

It’s taken three years, nearly $2 million, and one very questionable Miss Universe pageant performance, but Heidi Montag, star of the The Hills and wife of reality villain Spencer Pratt, finally released her debut album yesterday. Superficial, which Montag and Pratt are putting out on their own label, is an electro-pop collection of 12 tracks with party-friendly titles like “One More Drink” and “Hey Boy.” Montag chatted with EW about the album’s delay, her monetary issues, and why she thinks Superficial is as good as Thriller.

Entertainment Weekly: Why did it take three years to put this together?
HEIDI MONTAG: Well, I did it independently. If you look back at the superstars throughout history it used to take that long to put albums together. Now it’s more manufactured. I really wanted to take my time, and every song means so much to me. And every song was a true journey. I had to track down the songs myself, because it was just Spencer and I doing it independently. We really took our time with every single process, because we wanted it to be the highest quality possible. I wanted it to be back to the Thriller days, to that kind of sound. It’s timeless music, so whenever it comes out was the right timing.

EW: Do you think Superficial holds up against something like Thriller?
HM: I definitely do. I think people might not see it now, because it’s my first album coming out. But I’ve spent as much time–maybe more, even–than Thriller. Every detail was very important to me, because I take this very seriously. Most artists, it’s not their own money, but I’ve actually gone broke putting every dollar I’ve ever made and my heart and soul into this music. For me, I have a different appreciation, a different understanding, and a different love of my music and for my album than any other artist possibly could. Because this is my money. This is my gamble. This is my chance.

EW: You’ve gone broke?
HM: Yes. I definitely am. I am. I put every dollar I have into this.

EW: Do you know how much money you’ve spent?
HM: I’ve spent over a million, almost $2 million on this album. It’s cost as much or more than a Britney Spears album, because I wanted it to be that quality and to be able to get those people. My album would have cost a record label over $4 million.

The interview continues after the jump, read on to find out why Montag is not at all worried about getting her money back — bring on the LULz …

Last week we got our first look at newlywed Heidi Montag on the cover of Playboy magazine and yesterday we got our first peek at some of the photos inside the issue. TMZ confirms that Heidi is not nekkid in any of the 6 pages of published photos in the magazine primarily because she insisted that there be a “No Nipples, No Vagina, No Ass” policy for the Playboy shoot … which kinda negates the whole purpose of a Playboy shoot, don’t it? Additionally, the LA Times offers a few excerpts from Heidi and hubby Spencer Pratt‘s interview (um, why Spencer?) with the mag and — man — if you thought the couple were irritating before, wait ’til you hear Heidi talk about her views on feminism and Spencer talk about sex! OY!!

From TMZ: he only thing X-rated about Heidi Montag’s upcoming Playboy spread is the X-pletive you’re going to scream when you realize she’s not naked in any of the SIX PAGES of photos. Sources close to the barely PG-rated photo shoot tell TMZ, the magazine was under strict instructions when shooting Montag — “No nipples, no vagina, no ass.” Due to the third part of the agreement, Spencer will not be appearing in any of the pictures.

From LA Times: Spencer Pratt actually got to interview his wife, Heidi Pratt, for Playboy. Well, that makes it easy. Here’s what Heidi told Spencer about their sex life, other women and plastic surgery …

On sex with Spencer: “I was never very sexual before I met Spencer. … Before [Spencer], sex was just something that happened. Now it’s something I look forward to every minute of the day. … I feel as if I’m just beginning to know my body with [Spencer]. [He’s] waking me up to what’s possible, and it makes me want to try every new thing, doing it all kinds of ways – indoors, outdoors, upside down.”

On other women: “If they aren’t hating on you, then you’re not doing anything right. If women aren’t jealous of you, talking about you and cutting you down, then you’re a nerd, and I would never want to be that.”

On her plastic surgery: “When I was shopping for my boobs, I wanted the best, so I sat down and flipped through a bunch of Playboys.”

On MORE plastic surgery: “I plan to get a few more upgrades. … I’m sure as I get older I’ll need some touch-ups. I’m definitely not done with my surgical quest. I think I want to go bigger on my boobs for [Spencer]. … Let’s do [another Playboy photo shoot] again when I get the upgrades.”

Ready for Spencer‘s revelations about himself? After the jump, find out …

Last week we got our first look at the cover of the September issue of Playboy magazine which features The Hills star Heidi Montag on the cover and in the pages of the mag (you may recall, hubby Spencer Pratt was proudly showing off the mag on the red carpet at the Hollywood premiere of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra). Today we get to see 2 photos from inside the mag … but before you get all excited, there’s not one bit of nudity included. According to Montag, she claims that she did pose nekkid but that the magazine chose to publish photos of her not-nekkid for some strange reason. She confesses that she is planning to get more plastic surgery before she tries to pose nekkid again:

Heidi Pratt takes it all off — almost — in the September issue of Playboy. “I did pose nude,” the reality-TV vixen, 22, tells the new issue of Us Weekly, on stands today. Although the racy photos that made it into the mag are PG-13 (she’s wearing skimpy lingerie or a tiny bikini), she says she’ll strip down completely after getting more plastic surgery. “The body is a beautiful creation. If anything, the reason I didn’t show everything is because I plan to get a few more upgrades,” Heidi tells Spencer, who interviewed her for Playboy. “I’m definitely not done with my surgical quest,” she goes on, adding that she’d like “to go bigger on my boobs” for her husband, 26. (Before going under the knife the first time, Heidi reveals she went “shopping for boobs” in the lad mag. “I wanted the best, so I sat down and flipped through a bunch of Playboys,” she says. “The women are so hot — Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, Marilyn Monroe, all the Playmates.”) Spencer says he hung up poster-sized photos of the nude outtakes on his bathroom wall. “Now when I’m peeing, I get to see a 10-foot naked photo of of my wife,” he says. Heidi also admits she hasn’t told her dad about her pictorial because she comes from such a strict Christian family. “They’re a little behind the times where he lives in Colorado, but he’ll find out eventually,” she says.

LMAO!!! I mean … c’mon. I get that Playboy jumped at the chance to get Heidi in the their mag, cuz no other Playboy model would be able to promote the pics as well as Speidi can, but for the interview to be conducted by Spencer and the photospread to feature no nudity … I mean, why? It makes no sense that Playboy magazine woudl want to have any part of this ridiculousness but … here it is. After the jump, check out another one of Heidi‘s PG-13 photos — while she’s not nekkid, it is a bit saucier than this photo is …

Earlier this year we learned that Heidi Montag, a.k.a Mrs. Spencer Pratt, would be appearing in a pictorial for Playboy magazine … in June, we learned that she would be gracing the cover of the September issue. At the time we also learned that Heidi‘s Playboy spread would be “tasteful” and would not feature full frontal nudity … which is prolly for the best for everyone concerned. Last night, Heidi and hubby Spencer Pratt attended the LA premiere of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra at Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood, CA and brought along a copy of Heidi’s issue of Playboy … giving us our first look at her “tasteful” coverphoto:

LOL. As you can see, Heidi‘s bikinied body is covered in dirt and the Playboy logo is drawn on her dirty body … which is kinda tasteful, I must admit. Heidi Montag really does have that Playmate look about her … she’s a perfect model for the mag. After the jump, check out a few photos of Speidi gratuitously flaunting this new issue of Playboy magazine on the G.I. Joe red carpet last night …

A new commercial for Pizza Hut has made its way to the Internets that was supposed to air on national television to promote the NBC competitive reality TV show I’m A Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here! The ad features everyone’s favorite Reality TV villains Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt and would’ve been a boon for their efforts to expand their celebrity. Unfortch, the couple did not have the mettle to last very long on the show and, therefore, the Pizza Hut ad was canned. But now, at long last, all y’all can watch the Speidi ad in full here:

HMMM. Not only did the couple fail on the TV show but they also kinda fail in this ad. The premise sounds funny … but the execution sucks. Mebbe it’s in Pizza Hut‘s best interests that this ad never made it to national TV … I mean, does this association with Speidi make you want to eat their food?

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In an election landslide of EPIC proportions, E! viewers have voted by a 94% majority to make the network a Speidi-Free Zone. Last week, E! posed the question to its viewers whether or not the network should chose to ban all news stories on the couple … and the viewers have spoken. E! announced the results yesterday:

Say goodbye to Heidi and Spencer Pratt. As far as E! is concerned, the conspicuous couple occasionally self-referred to as Speidi are so dunzo. A startling 94 percent of you elected for the Hills stars’ immediate expulsion. Consider them gone from our wheelhouse, voted off the island, fired, out and any other appropriate reality-show catchphrase. Their planned attempt at hijacking the I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here! reunion special on Wednesday? You won’t read about it here. Barring any actual news (e.g., she gets knocked up, he falls off a cliff or—heaven help us—her album goes to No. 1), consider this their very last post.

LMAOOOOOOO! I guess we can wish a hearty Peace the Spork Out to Speidi news on E! To be honest, none of this surprises me at all. While the duo may be outright geniuses at extending their 15 minutes of fame to astronomical proportions, I think they are finally starting to lose steam. Their ridiculous comments about Al Roker last week really started to put the chinks in their armor. Rather than looking like savvy reality TV stars, they looked more like spoiled brats. While I doubt the pair will go away for good after this banishment from E!, I think the couple’s ride may be soon coming to an end. I guess we shall see … I, for one, am not ready to count them out just yet. But if they continue onward with their present course of action, they prolly won’t last for much longer.

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