Last week we got our first look at newlywed Heidi Montag on the cover of Playboy magazine and yesterday we got our first peek at some of the photos inside the issue. TMZ confirms that Heidi is not nekkid in any of the 6 pages of published photos in the magazine primarily because she insisted that there be a “No Nipples, No Vagina, No Ass” policy for the Playboy shoot … which kinda negates the whole purpose of a Playboy shoot, don’t it? Additionally, the LA Times offers a few excerpts from Heidi and hubby Spencer Pratt’s interview (um, why Spencer?) with the mag and — man — if you thought the couple were irritating before, wait ’til you hear Heidi talk about her views on feminism and Spencer talk about sex! OY!!

From TMZ: he only thing X-rated about Heidi Montag’s upcoming Playboy spread is the X-pletive you’re going to scream when you realize she’s not naked in any of the SIX PAGES of photos. Sources close to the barely PG-rated photo shoot tell TMZ, the magazine was under strict instructions when shooting Montag — “No nipples, no vagina, no ass.” Due to the third part of the agreement, Spencer will not be appearing in any of the pictures.

From LA Times: Spencer Pratt actually got to interview his wife, Heidi Pratt, for Playboy. Well, that makes it easy. Here’s what Heidi told Spencer about their sex life, other women and plastic surgery …

On sex with Spencer: “I was never very sexual before I met Spencer. … Before [Spencer], sex was just something that happened. Now it’s something I look forward to every minute of the day. … I feel as if I’m just beginning to know my body with [Spencer]. [He’s] waking me up to what’s possible, and it makes me want to try every new thing, doing it all kinds of ways – indoors, outdoors, upside down.”

On other women: “If they aren’t hating on you, then you’re not doing anything right. If women aren’t jealous of you, talking about you and cutting you down, then you’re a nerd, and I would never want to be that.”

On her plastic surgery: “When I was shopping for my boobs, I wanted the best, so I sat down and flipped through a bunch of Playboys.”

On MORE plastic surgery: “I plan to get a few more upgrades. … I’m sure as I get older I’ll need some touch-ups. I’m definitely not done with my surgical quest. I think I want to go bigger on my boobs for [Spencer]. … Let’s do [another Playboy photo shoot] again when I get the upgrades.”

Ready for Spencer’s revelations about himself? After the jump, find out …

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Last week we got our first look at the cover of the September issue of Playboy magazine which features The Hills star Heidi Montag on the cover and in the pages of the mag (you may recall, hubby Spencer Pratt was proudly showing off the mag on the red carpet at the Hollywood premiere of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra). Today we get to see 2 photos from inside the mag … but before you get all excited, there’s not one bit of nudity included. According to Montag, she claims that she did pose nekkid but that the magazine chose to publish photos of her not-nekkid for some strange reason. She confesses that she is planning to get more plastic surgery before she tries to pose nekkid again:

Heidi Pratt takes it all off — almost — in the September issue of Playboy. “I did pose nude,” the reality-TV vixen, 22, tells the new issue of Us Weekly, on stands today. Although the racy photos that made it into the mag are PG-13 (she’s wearing skimpy lingerie or a tiny bikini), she says she’ll strip down completely after getting more plastic surgery. “The body is a beautiful creation. If anything, the reason I didn’t show everything is because I plan to get a few more upgrades,” Heidi tells Spencer, who interviewed her for Playboy. “I’m definitely not done with my surgical quest,” she goes on, adding that she’d like “to go bigger on my boobs” for her husband, 26. (Before going under the knife the first time, Heidi reveals she went “shopping for boobs” in the lad mag. “I wanted the best, so I sat down and flipped through a bunch of Playboys,” she says. “The women are so hot — Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, Marilyn Monroe, all the Playmates.”) Spencer says he hung up poster-sized photos of the nude outtakes on his bathroom wall. “Now when I’m peeing, I get to see a 10-foot naked photo of of my wife,” he says. Heidi also admits she hasn’t told her dad about her pictorial because she comes from such a strict Christian family. “They’re a little behind the times where he lives in Colorado, but he’ll find out eventually,” she says.

LMAO!!! I mean … c’mon. I get that Playboy jumped at the chance to get Heidi in the their mag, cuz no other Playboy model would be able to promote the pics as well as Speidi can, but for the interview to be conducted by Spencer and the photospread to feature no nudity … I mean, why? It makes no sense that Playboy magazine woudl want to have any part of this ridiculousness but … here it is. After the jump, check out another one of Heidi’s PG-13 photos — while she’s not nekkid, it is a bit saucier than this photo is …

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Earlier this year we learned that Heidi Montag, a.k.a Mrs. Spencer Pratt, would be appearing in a pictorial for Playboy magazine … in June, we learned that she would be gracing the cover of the September issue. At the time we also learned that Heidi’s Playboy spread would be “tasteful” and would not feature full frontal nudity … which is prolly for the best for everyone concerned. Last night, Heidi and hubby Spencer Pratt attended the LA premiere of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra at Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood, CA and brought along a copy of Heidi’s issue of Playboy … giving us our first look at her “tasteful” coverphoto:

LOL. As you can see, Heidi’s bikinied body is covered in dirt and the Playboy logo is drawn on her dirty body … which is kinda tasteful, I must admit. Heidi Montag really does have that Playmate look about her … she’s a perfect model for the mag. After the jump, check out a few photos of Speidi gratuitously flaunting this new issue of Playboy magazine on the G.I. Joe red carpet last night …

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A new commercial for Pizza Hut has made its way to the Internets that was supposed to air on national television to promote the NBC competitive reality TV show I’m A Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here! The ad features everyone’s favorite Reality TV villains Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt and would’ve been a boon for their efforts to expand their celebrity. Unfortch, the couple did not have the mettle to last very long on the show and, therefore, the Pizza Hut ad was canned. But now, at long last, all y’all can watch the Speidi ad in full here:

HMMM. Not only did the couple fail on the TV show but they also kinda fail in this ad. The premise sounds funny … but the execution sucks. Mebbe it’s in Pizza Hut’s best interests that this ad never made it to national TV … I mean, does this association with Speidi make you want to eat their food?

[Source]

In an election landslide of EPIC proportions, E! viewers have voted by a 94% majority to make the network a Speidi-Free Zone. Last week, E! posed the question to its viewers whether or not the network should chose to ban all news stories on the couple … and the viewers have spoken. E! announced the results yesterday:

Say goodbye to Heidi and Spencer Pratt. As far as E! is concerned, the conspicuous couple occasionally self-referred to as Speidi are so dunzo. A startling 94 percent of you elected for the Hills stars’ immediate expulsion. Consider them gone from our wheelhouse, voted off the island, fired, out and any other appropriate reality-show catchphrase. Their planned attempt at hijacking the I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here! reunion special on Wednesday? You won’t read about it here. Barring any actual news (e.g., she gets knocked up, he falls off a cliff or—heaven help us—her album goes to No. 1), consider this their very last post.

LMAOOOOOOO! I guess we can wish a hearty Peace the Spork Out to Speidi news on E! To be honest, none of this surprises me at all. While the duo may be outright geniuses at extending their 15 minutes of fame to astronomical proportions, I think they are finally starting to lose steam. Their ridiculous comments about Al Roker last week really started to put the chinks in their armor. Rather than looking like savvy reality TV stars, they looked more like spoiled brats. While I doubt the pair will go away for good after this banishment from E!, I think the couple’s ride may be soon coming to an end. I guess we shall see … I, for one, am not ready to count them out just yet. But if they continue onward with their present course of action, they prolly won’t last for much longer.

[Source]

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, newly returned from the jungle of Costa Rica after they failed to successfully endure a stint on the NBC competitive reality TV show I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!, spent all of yesterday making the rounds in NYC appearing on various TV talk shows to talk about their behavior on the NBC show. Their day started with an appearance on The Today Show where the couple were interviewed on live television by Al Roker. Roker, clearly not a fan of Speidi, grilled them on the behavior they exhibited on I’m a Celebrity and seemed to enjoy making the couple squirm on national TV. Heidi Montag says that she felt “persecuted” by Roker and spent much of the rest of the day giving interviews to that effect. The couple paid a visit to the Extra! TV studios and talked about their appearance on The Today Show:

After surviving in the jungle (and Four Seasons) in Costa Rica, Speidi flew to New York to talk to Al Roker on the “Today Show” — and now they say Al went on the offense! During their interview, Roker asked the “Hills” duo about their stint on “I’m a Celebrity,” and at one point told Spencer that people think he’s a jerk, and quizzed Heidi hardball style. “The guy was a bully — nobody has ever verbally berated my wife like that,” Spencer tells “Extra.” “He got very aggressive with me,” Heidi chimed in. Mrs. Pratt tells “Extra” that she was literally driven to tears by Al’s questioning about the drama on “Celebrity,” saying, “I felt like I was being persecuted.” Heidi adds, “Women should know… he’s not just gonna be, you know, normal and courteous to you.” Spencer admits that he was so upset that he almost threw a punch! “I was like, ‘this guy’s about to get hit.’ My heart was just pounding, ‘be good Spencer, don’t hit him in the face.’” After the interview, Roker wrote on his Twitter, “Heidi and Spencer are an interesting couple. famous for… being infamous. Bad and vacuous behavior. I think we’re at minute 11 of their 15.” Spencer replies, “Congratulations, you get to be talked about for a day. Must be cool.” Heidi adds, “I’m gonna pray for him ’cause I feel like the devil really got a hold of him.”

LMAO!! When Speidi have reached the level where they get into public feuds with someone like Al Roker … you know they’ve made it! But, lest you think that the dynamic duo spent all of their time talking about Roker, they did talk about other issues — like Spencer’s plan to become President of the United States of America:

“When I’m in the White House as the President of the Unite States, this beautiful amazing, county then I’ll be like, ‘Okay, I’ve done what I’ve dreamt my whole life to be.’ That was the game plan to become the most famous person on the planet, so when I’m campaigning, people will know who I am. No one knew who Obama was and now he’s the President. Just imagine what I’m capable of….I plan to be the President of the United States in the next 20 years.”

As well as plans for the couple to launch their own record label:

“Ready for this. Exclusive. Heidi and Spencer are about to sign….our own distribution deal for each of our records through Warner Music Group. Heidi and Spencer. Speidi have their own record label now with distribution through Warner Music, so we’re both going to put out albums…”

Lord have mercy, heaven help us all. I think I’m more interested in going back to that Al Roker interview. In case you missed it (or just want to see it again), you can see the full Speidi interview on The Today Show to see what all the hub-bub is about …

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After gravely miscalculating an attempt to extend their fame and fortune by choosing to participate in the NBC competitive Reality TV program I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here! only to fail at the endeavor at every single turn, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have finally returned to the US from their long sojourn. When last we saw or heard from either of them, Heidi was being rushed to the hospital and Spencer was crying lawsuit claiming that the producers of the show had “tortured” his wife into hospitalization. Since then … there had been no word from or of either of them. But all of that is over … on Saturday night, the couple were spotted making their arrival at LAX Airport only to turn right around and fly out to NYC (where they are now) on Sunday:

Lest you think that Heidi was suffering in a Costa Rican hospital since we last heard from them, think again. I understand her hospital stay was brief and that the couple quickly checked into the five star Four Seasons resort in Guanacaste, Costa Rica for the remainder of their stay in the country. I suspect the couple were not allowed to return to the US nor were they able to court the media until their contractual requirements with the show were upheld as much as possible. Their vacation in Costa Rica was a vacation for us as well … except for the news of Heidi’s upcoming appearance in Playboy magazine, we lived a fairly Speidi-less existence for the past week or so. But … they’re back now … and, for the time being, they are NYC’s problem.

[Photo credit: WENN, INFdaily]