“Jersey Shore” star Angelina Pivarnick and “Real Housewives of New Jersey” vixen Danielle Staub crossed paths at a launch party at a Manhattan nightclub Tuesday night, possibly creating a temporal paradox so massive that it could have easily wiped out the Outer Boroughs, and possibly reality television programming altogether. What, you don’t remember that landmark time travel documentary, “Back to the Future, Part II”?

Doc Brown: “Great Scott! Jennifer could conceivably encounter her future self! The consequences of that could be disastrous!

Marty: Doc, what do you mean?

Doc Brown: I foresee two possibilities. One, coming face to face with herself 30 years older would put her into shock and she would simply pass out. Or two, the encounter could create a time paradox, the results of which could start a chain reaction that would unravel the very fabric of the space time continuum, and destroy the entire universe! Granted, that’s a worst-case scenario. The destruction might in fact be very localized, limited to our own galaxy.

Marty: Well, that’s a relief.

Pivarnick, Staub and Lindsay Lohan’s mom Dina Lohan, herself a reality show star, posed for a photo together. The agenda for the summit was not available, but we wouldn’t be surprised if breakout sessions included “Self-Tanner: Can One Ever Be Too Orange?” and “Legal Strategies for Sex Tape Participants.”

Ye gods … this is downright scary, y’all. Of all the reality TV “stars” that could’ve aligned in the same place, what are the chances that these dregs scraped from the bottom of the barrel happened to be in the same place at the same time. In all honestly, Danielle isn’t even all that tragic all by herself … but sandwiched between Angelina and Dina? The woman is DOOMED! Yeesh … the mere in-person sight of these 3 all together last night would’ve driven me screaming from the venue. Do try to NOT stare directly into their vapid eyes … you’re likely to turn to stone. EEP!

[Photo credit: Wireimage; Source]

In October last year, Lindsay Lohan’s mother Dina Lohan made headlines with the announcement that she was partnering up with Long Island-based shoe company Lovemyshoes.com to launch (and become the national spokesperson for) her very own footwear line called “Shoe-Han” which was slated to be ready by Mother’s Day 2010. However, [it has been announced] that the much-hyped deal has already fallen through. “Love My Shoes regrets to announce we are not moving forward with the Dina Lohan line of shoes at this time due to continued economic sluggishness and the prevalent mood of today’s shoppers,” a rep from the company told us. “Love My Shoes and its President, Robert Yeganeh, wish Dina continued success in all her projects.” But according to a rep for Lohan’s shoes, the star mom is still determined to accessorize your feet. “There was a miscommunication over finances, this was too local and we need a larger partner,” said the rep. “We are currently exploring other options, and we will have another announcement soon.”

I pray to all that is mighty and good that no other clothing company, of any sort, deigns to align themselves with Dina Lohan (or any of the Lohans, for that matter — if we’ve learned anything from the ruinous state of the design house of Emanuel Ungaro, it’s that the Lohans have no business in the Fashion world … at all). It was an atrocious idea for Love My Shoes to team up with Dina in the first place (and I really doubt the validity that Love My Shows actually loves shoes if they actually decided to give Dina her own line of shoes to oversee) so I sincerely hope no one else takes her up on her heinous offer. It would seem that we dodged a bullet this time … you may breath that sigh of relief now.

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In an explosive recorded audio conversation obtained exclusively by RadarOnline.com, Dina Lohan reveals her anguish over a failed attempt to get her daughter Lindsay Lohan into rehab and what she calls the “mess” that resulted from trying to give her an intervention. The taped phone call, made in September of 2008, is between Dina and Lindsay’s dad, Michael Lohan. “You don’t even know what I’d go through trying to get her into, like, rehab and stuff,” Dina is heard telling Michael. “She’d like, punch me in the face, kick me out of the car…like you don’t know the (expletive) I went through trying to get her an intervention by myself. It was very difficult.” Dina continues, “She’s really sad and really hurt and really…despondent. I told her not to go to L.A. at 18…she did. I couldn’t leave these other three (Dina’s three other kids with Michael) to go get her and it was, like, a mess.” Michael Lohan has publically claimed his concern for Lindsay’s life and that she has an addiction to prescription pills and that ex-wife Dina is lying about his intentions to the press. On Wednesday, RadarOnline.com released a heart wrenching audio tape of a distraught and hysterical Lindsay, sobbing to her father about her life. The recording sparked immediate controversy about why Lohan would publically disclose something so private about his daughter. In an exclusive interview with RadarOnline.com, Lohan says he only released the personal audio tapes because he’s afraid for his daughter’s life, and he’s tired of being targeted as the bad guy. “I admit, I’m being a bit selfish in releasing the tapes,” he told us. “But I’m tired of being lied about. I’m tired of Dina and others making me out to be someone I’m not, so now I’m going to prove to the world who the real liars are.”

I understand Michael Lohan plans to release more recorded phone conversations out of “concern” for his daughter … I guess he feels that by hurting and publicly embarrassing Lindsay as much as he can, she will run to his waiting arms so that he can have access and mebbe control of her person (and finances?). In my opinion, his decision to publicly release these recordings only goes further in exposing him for the kind of person that he truly is. Lindsay herself posted a series of messages on her official Twitter profile to give her opinion on her father’s actions. If this attempt to care for this daughter can teach us anything, it is that Michael Lohan truly is a toxic parrot … just like NeNe Leakes says he is.

UPDATE: Once again, Lindsay Lohan has posted a series of tweets to her official Twitter profile to respond to her father’s heinous actions — after the jump, read what Linds has to say this time around …

Its so sad that I even have to share this w/everyone, but I haven’t had a real relationship w/Michael Sr. In years. That is the truth. Xox / I just hope I can show others how to be strong through times & to be able to stand up for yourself and loved ones no matter what! :) * / Good news is, I haven’t called him many times @ all-so, it will end sooner than later!!! Lol

[Source, Source]

Now, I’m not sure what the purpose of having a red carpet at an event like this is but they did have one … so that Dina could walk on it as she arrived for her own shoe launch … which was attended by, well, Dina and … a bunch of photographers paid to be there. Dina was really rockin’ the crazy eyes at yesterday’s launch event … she was even lookin’ a bit more crazy-eyed than Ramona Singer from The Real Housewives of New York City. Absent the fact that I’m not the biggest Dina Lohan fan, I don’t really have much faith that this shoe line will do well. The Lohans seem to have a toxic touch with everything they endeavor to accomplish … from raising kids to sustaining a viable acting career … they don’t seem to really know what they are doing. I suppose it’s possible that Shoe-Han might sell a few pairs but I wouldn’t count on it. We’ll prolly be seeing this footwear on the streetwalkers of Hollywood Blvd. in the very near future … Ah ha! That must be the target consumer!

[Photo credit: Wireimage]

Not one to be outdone by loopy daughter Lindsay’s nipple pasties for Emmanuel Ungaro, Dina Lohan says she’s a designer, too! Mama L. will unveil her new “celebrity” shoe line creatively dubbed “Shoe-Han” at Trump Plaza today. What’s more, the failed reality star has been named national spokesmodel, with radio and TV gigs, for lovemyshoes.com, the Web site where Dina will sell her soles. News of the fancy footwear deal comes two days after LiLo, in her Paris runway debut as Ungaro’s “artistic adviser,” got shredded by aghast fashion writers for sending models down the catwalk sporting sparkly, heart-shaped nipple pasties.

I don’t know about you but I can’t think of anything tackier than a line of shoes called Shoe-Han which come from a line created by Dina Lohan. Who in HELL would want to wear such atrocities on their feet? As ghastly as this idea sounds, I can’t help but admit that I kinda want to see what these damn things will look like. I think I already know the answer but … would any of y’all be interested in wearing shoes by Shoe-Han?

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Clearly, the Lohan ladies were in a hurry to get to Malibu (where they were headed) but the cops in the Pacific Palisades (where the bust took place) take speeding very seriously, as they should. As you may recall, Lindsay has had quite a few traffic violations in her past so I think it’s safe to say that we know from whom she learned to drive.

[Photo credit: X17]

When a 46-year-old mom wants to take her daughters out for a special night, a Hollywood nightclub might seem a curious choice. Not so for Dina Lohan, who took Lindsay, 22, and Ali, 15, to Villa on March 25, Us Weekly reports. “Do you know who I am?” Dina protested when they were turned away at the door because of Ali’s age. “You’re making a huge mistake. Huge!” Lindsay added.

It’s pretty shameful, IMHO, that a nightclub doorperson has to do the parenting for a woman who thinks it is fine to bring a 15 year old child into a nightclub. I don’t know who Dina Lohan thinks she is but I totally commend the nightclub for turning Dina and her daughters away. One would think that a mother might not want to expose her impressionable child to an adult nightclub but, then again, this is Dina Lohan we’re talking about here. I’m sure there are other bars and nightclubs out there who would be more than willing to let Dina bring her underage children into their establishments but kudos to Villa for having the guts to do the right thing and turn them away.

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L. Lo got herself a whole new messa hair for the launch event last night. It looks like she decided to wear two weaves just for the occasion. In any event, this leggings line is an endeavor near and dear to Lindsay’s heart. She arguably single-handedly is responsible for making leggings a very successful fashion trend in Hollywood (much to my chagrin) and never wavered from her intense championing of the look. Now that she is able to design and market her own line of leggings, I’m sure she will remain steadfast in her lurve for the trend. Whether or not ladies will choose to pay top dollar for Lindsay’s leggings is yet unknown (especially when they can just as easily pick up a pair of almost identical leggings at Target, Marshalls, TJ Max, etc.) but I suppose congrats are in order for Lindsay’s entrepreneurial spirit. Oh yeah and someone might want to let Linds know that the leggings that she’s wearing seem to have a little hole in them.

[Photo credit: Splash News, Bauer-Griffin]

The starlet celebrated her 22nd birthday last night with a 1980s prom-themed party at Teddy’s at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. The evening started off with a small dinner at nearby Magnolia restaurant… She wore an off-white slip dress during the meal and then headed into a restroom at the party to change into her second outfit: a pink chiffon minidress by Bradley Bayou. Samantha Ronson wore a tuxedo, including a top hat. “Lindsay is drinking a Red Bull with a straw,” one party guest emailed me during the bash. “There are red, silver, light blue and light pink balloons everywhere.” Lohan’s table included an assortment of cupcakes, included an oversize one decorated with a tiara. At about midnight, LiLo was presented with a pink-and-green sheet cake—featuring the iconic Marilyn Monroe photo from The Seven Year Itch—while the 50 or so guests sang “Happy Birthday” … Celeb guests included Joel and Benji Madden, David Spade, Audrina Patridge, Sean Stewart and Evan Ross. E! reality stars (and Lohan family members) Dina and Ali were also there, as was Lindsay’s brother Michael Jr. and his girlfriend. Meanwhile, earlier in the day, Lohan and Ronson had lunch at La Scala in Beverly Hills following a shopping trip to nearby XIV Karat jewelry store. Lohan spent $11,000 on a 16-inch briolette platinum diamond necklace and matching bracelet, according to a source. Ronson is said to have bought a “really beautiful gold bracelet” for the birthday girl.

Aww … it sounds like it was a really fun, really nice party. It’s nice to hear that Lindsay Lohan can party with her friends without overdoing it and taking things too far. It’s encouraging to hear that Linds stuck with the Red Bull all night long. I’m glad that Lindsay is taking care of herself and has managed to find happiness … in whatever form she can find it. She seems really contented with her life and the people surrounding her … it’s just great news all around for her these days. I honestly wasn’t sure if the Hollywood bad girls would be able to turn their lives around so fully, so successfully and so soon. Britney Spears is back on track, even Paris Hilton has settled into a life of normalcy … and now Lindsay, too. 2008 might just go down as the year that the Hollywood “It” Girls actually evolved into good girls.

[Photo credit: X17, Source; Source]