Last night 3 of the lamest reality TV stars to ever disgrace television screens in this country met up and partied together at an event in NYC last night that was so epic in tragedy it almost sucked our plane of existence into oblivion. Here is a group shot of Angelina Jolie Pivarnick (who was ejected from the MTV series Jersey Shore after only 3 eps), Danielle Staub (who stars on the Bravo TV series The Real Housewives of New Jersey) and Dina Lohan (who starred on the E! series Living Lohan) nearly destroying our universe with their mere existence:

“Jersey Shore” star Angelina Pivarnick and “Real Housewives of New Jersey” vixen Danielle Staub crossed paths at a launch party at a Manhattan nightclub Tuesday night, possibly creating a temporal paradox so massive that it could have easily wiped out the Outer Boroughs, and possibly reality television programming altogether. What, you don’t remember that landmark time travel documentary, “Back to the Future, Part II”?

Doc Brown: “Great Scott! Jennifer could conceivably encounter her future self! The consequences of that could be disastrous!

Marty: Doc, what do you mean?

Doc Brown: I foresee two possibilities. One, coming face to face with herself 30 years older would put her into shock and she would simply pass out. Or two, the encounter could create a time paradox, the results of which could start a chain reaction that would unravel the very fabric of the space time continuum, and destroy the entire universe! Granted, that’s a worst-case scenario. The destruction might in fact be very localized, limited to our own galaxy.

Marty: Well, that’s a relief.

Pivarnick, Staub and Lindsay Lohan’s mom Dina Lohan, herself a reality show star, posed for a photo together. The agenda for the summit was not available, but we wouldn’t be surprised if breakout sessions included “Self-Tanner: Can One Ever Be Too Orange?” and “Legal Strategies for Sex Tape Participants.”

Ye gods … this is downright scary, y’all. Of all the reality TV “stars” that could’ve aligned in the same place, what are the chances that these dregs scraped from the bottom of the barrel happened to be in the same place at the same time. In all honestly, Danielle isn’t even all that tragic all by herself … but sandwiched between Angelina and Dina? The woman is DOOMED! Yeesh … the mere in-person sight of these 3 all together last night would’ve driven me screaming from the venue. Do try to NOT stare directly into their vapid eyes … you’re likely to turn to stone. EEP!

[Photo credit: Wireimage; Source]

Back in October we heard the HORRENDOUS news that Dina Lohan was attempting to launch her own line of shoes — terribly named Shoe-Han — in conjunction with the Love My Shoes company. Later that same month, Dina made an in-person appearance in NYC to show off this tragic looking footwear … which clearly was the death knell for the line because today we learn, with great relief, that the Shoe-Han line of shoes has been axed before it even officially launched. Thank ye gods, Dina’s shoe endeavor is dunzo!!

In October last year, Lindsay Lohan’s mother Dina Lohan made headlines with the announcement that she was partnering up with Long Island-based shoe company Lovemyshoes.com to launch (and become the national spokesperson for) her very own footwear line called “Shoe-Han” which was slated to be ready by Mother’s Day 2010. However, [it has been announced] that the much-hyped deal has already fallen through. “Love My Shoes regrets to announce we are not moving forward with the Dina Lohan line of shoes at this time due to continued economic sluggishness and the prevalent mood of today’s shoppers,” a rep from the company told us. “Love My Shoes and its President, Robert Yeganeh, wish Dina continued success in all her projects.” But according to a rep for Lohan’s shoes, the star mom is still determined to accessorize your feet. “There was a miscommunication over finances, this was too local and we need a larger partner,” said the rep. “We are currently exploring other options, and we will have another announcement soon.”

I pray to all that is mighty and good that no other clothing company, of any sort, deigns to align themselves with Dina Lohan (or any of the Lohans, for that matter — if we’ve learned anything from the ruinous state of the design house of Emanuel Ungaro, it’s that the Lohans have no business in the Fashion world … at all). It was an atrocious idea for Love My Shoes to team up with Dina in the first place (and I really doubt the validity that Love My Shows actually loves shoes if they actually decided to give Dina her own line of shoes to oversee) so I sincerely hope no one else takes her up on her heinous offer. It would seem that we dodged a bullet this time … you may breath that sigh of relief now.

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Yesterday we learned that Michael Lohan, exploitative father of Lindsay Lohan and ex-husband of Dina Lohan, released an audio recording of a secretly taped phone conversation that he had with his daughter in order to expose her distraught depression, he says, for her own good. Today, Daddy Lohan releases another audio recording but this time of a conversation with his ex-wife Dina:

In an explosive recorded audio conversation obtained exclusively by RadarOnline.com, Dina Lohan reveals her anguish over a failed attempt to get her daughter Lindsay Lohan into rehab and what she calls the “mess” that resulted from trying to give her an intervention. The taped phone call, made in September of 2008, is between Dina and Lindsay’s dad, Michael Lohan. “You don’t even know what I’d go through trying to get her into, like, rehab and stuff,” Dina is heard telling Michael. “She’d like, punch me in the face, kick me out of the car…like you don’t know the (expletive) I went through trying to get her an intervention by myself. It was very difficult.” Dina continues, “She’s really sad and really hurt and really…despondent. I told her not to go to L.A. at 18…she did. I couldn’t leave these other three (Dina’s three other kids with Michael) to go get her and it was, like, a mess.” Michael Lohan has publically claimed his concern for Lindsay’s life and that she has an addiction to prescription pills and that ex-wife Dina is lying about his intentions to the press. On Wednesday, RadarOnline.com released a heart wrenching audio tape of a distraught and hysterical Lindsay, sobbing to her father about her life. The recording sparked immediate controversy about why Lohan would publically disclose something so private about his daughter. In an exclusive interview with RadarOnline.com, Lohan says he only released the personal audio tapes because he’s afraid for his daughter’s life, and he’s tired of being targeted as the bad guy. “I admit, I’m being a bit selfish in releasing the tapes,” he told us. “But I’m tired of being lied about. I’m tired of Dina and others making me out to be someone I’m not, so now I’m going to prove to the world who the real liars are.”

I understand Michael Lohan plans to release more recorded phone conversations out of “concern” for his daughter … I guess he feels that by hurting and publicly embarrassing Lindsay as much as he can, she will run to his waiting arms so that he can have access and mebbe control of her person (and finances?). In my opinion, his decision to publicly release these recordings only goes further in exposing him for the kind of person that he truly is. Lindsay herself posted a series of messages on her official Twitter profile to give her opinion on her father’s actions. If this attempt to care for this daughter can teach us anything, it is that Michael Lohan truly is a toxic parrot … just like NeNe Leakes says he is.

UPDATE: Once again, Lindsay Lohan has posted a series of tweets to her official Twitter profile to respond to her father’s heinous actions — after the jump, read what Linds has to say this time around …

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Yesterday we learned the AMAZING news that Dina Lohan would be following in her daughter Lindsay’s fashion design endeavors by launching her own line of shoes called Shoe-Han. Today we get to see photos of “Mother of the Year” Dina herself at the Marc Fisher Showroom inside Trump Plaza in NYC, NY yesterday afternoon at an official launch event for Shoe-Han:

Now, I’m not sure what the purpose of having a red carpet at an event like this is but they did have one … so that Dina could walk on it as she arrived for her own shoe launch … which was attended by, well, Dina and … a bunch of photographers paid to be there. Dina was really rockin’ the crazy eyes at yesterday’s launch event … she was even lookin’ a bit more crazy-eyed than Ramona Singer from The Real Housewives of New York City. Absent the fact that I’m not the biggest Dina Lohan fan, I don’t really have much faith that this shoe line will do well. The Lohans seem to have a toxic touch with everything they endeavor to accomplish … from raising kids to sustaining a viable acting career … they don’t seem to really know what they are doing. I suppose it’s possible that Shoe-Han might sell a few pairs but I wouldn’t count on it. We’ll prolly be seeing this footwear on the streetwalkers of Hollywood Blvd. in the very near future … Ah ha! That must be the target consumer!

[Photo credit: Wireimage]

Just last weekend we got our first look at the new Spring 2010 collection from Emmanuel Ungaro at Paris Fashion Week which was put together under the “creative direction” of Lindsay Lohan … to disastrous results. Now it appears that Lindsay’s mother Dina Lohan is lookin’ to get in on the disastrous fun! Dina has announced that she will be launching her own line of shoes which she will call Shoe-Han:

Not one to be outdone by loopy daughter Lindsay’s nipple pasties for Emmanuel Ungaro, Dina Lohan says she’s a designer, too! Mama L. will unveil her new “celebrity” shoe line creatively dubbed “Shoe-Han” at Trump Plaza today. What’s more, the failed reality star has been named national spokesmodel, with radio and TV gigs, for lovemyshoes.com, the Web site where Dina will sell her soles. News of the fancy footwear deal comes two days after LiLo, in her Paris runway debut as Ungaro’s “artistic adviser,” got shredded by aghast fashion writers for sending models down the catwalk sporting sparkly, heart-shaped nipple pasties.

I don’t know about you but I can’t think of anything tackier than a line of shoes called Shoe-Han which come from a line created by Dina Lohan. Who in HELL would want to wear such atrocities on their feet? As ghastly as this idea sounds, I can’t help but admit that I kinda want to see what these damn things will look like. I think I already know the answer but … would any of y’all be interested in wearing shoes by Shoe-Han?

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Dina Lohan got busted by the cops over the weekend when she was reportedly clocked driving 65mph in a 35mph zone. It may be difficult to tell but her daughter Lindsay Lohan was in the car with her at the time that Dina got pulled over and did everything she could to try and climb into the car’s glove compartment in order to evade being photographed while her mother got ticketed for unsafe driving:

Clearly, the Lohan ladies were in a hurry to get to Malibu (where they were headed) but the cops in the Pacific Palisades (where the bust took place) take speeding very seriously, as they should. As you may recall, Lindsay has had quite a few traffic violations in her past so I think it’s safe to say that we know from whom she learned to drive.

[Photo credit: X17]

Dina Lohan is smarting today as news spreads of her embarrassing denied entry into one of Hollywood’s hotspots. Apparently, Dina showed up and tried to roll into Villa nightclub recently with her daughters Lindsay and Ali (who is only 15 years old, mind you) and was refused entry into the club. An angry Dina was shocked that the doorperson apparently didn’t know who she was and Lindsay chided them for making “a HUGH mistake” by refusing them entry. But did it ever occur to the Lohans that mebbe the doorperson turned them away because, Oh I dunno, mebbe it is illegal to let 15 year old children into nightclubs?

When a 46-year-old mom wants to take her daughters out for a special night, a Hollywood nightclub might seem a curious choice. Not so for Dina Lohan, who took Lindsay, 22, and Ali, 15, to Villa on March 25, Us Weekly reports. “Do you know who I am?” Dina protested when they were turned away at the door because of Ali’s age. “You’re making a huge mistake. Huge!” Lindsay added.

It’s pretty shameful, IMHO, that a nightclub doorperson has to do the parenting for a woman who thinks it is fine to bring a 15 year old child into a nightclub. I don’t know who Dina Lohan thinks she is but I totally commend the nightclub for turning Dina and her daughters away. One would think that a mother might not want to expose her impressionable child to an adult nightclub but, then again, this is Dina Lohan we’re talking about here. I’m sure there are other bars and nightclubs out there who would be more than willing to let Dina bring her underage children into their establishments but kudos to Villa for having the guts to do the right thing and turn them away.

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