Archive for the WTF?! Category

‘Key & Peele’ Is Tragically DUNZO After This Season

BUT KEY & PEELE WAS MY SHIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT!

If you can make it through any of the Key & Peele Liam Neesons sketches without laughing, you are clearly a robot sent to take over our planet, and you must be destroyed. If you don’t see the genius behind Obama Meet & Greet, we cannot be friends. The same is true for Negrotown, Gay Wedding Advice and that one epic, feminist bit Mother Majesty, and countless others. I friggen love this show and this is almost as bad as when Chappelle’s Show disappeared into the abyss. Key & Peele is DUNZO, but it won’t be the last we hear from this dynamic duo. Click inside for more!

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Instagram Has Unblocked The ‘Curvy’ Hashtag, But Why Was It Blocked To Begin With?

"In the case of #curvy, we don't like putting restrictions around a term that..."

This is a story that I simply have not understood, from beginning to end. Here’s why. About a week ago, a dear friend of mine who shall remain nameless introduced me to the Instagram hashtag #EggplantFriday. UM WHAT. I could not believe that it was allowed on Instagram and, in case you were wondering, yes it’s related to penises. Of the eggplant variety. So if actual porn makes its way onto the photo sharing app, why in the world did Instagram ban the hashtag #curvy recently? Representatives claimed it was because of all the “inappropriate content” that came along with it, but that never made a bit of sense to me, nor does this explanation for why they’ve unblocked the word. Click inside for more.

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Model Chanel Iman And Her Boyfriend Will Make You Loathe All Couples Everywhere, Forever

NO NO THEY ARE TOO PERFECT NO

So, here is the deal guys. I am single. For reals. And although I am kind of psyched to be so, and have high expectations for the next few years of my life I still suffer from that bitter Single Person Syndrome that occasionally takes hold of me. I only say all of that to say, if you’re also single, you might want to avoid the rest of this post, because there’s kind of nothing worse than two disgustingly attractive human beings like Chanel Iman and Jordan Clarkson laying all over each other, being disgustingly attractive together. But if you can handle it, click inside for more.

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Here Is Jake Gyllenhaal’s Insane Training Regiment For ‘Southpaw’

NO DAYS OFF FOR 6 MONTHS?!

Every once in a while, I get so excited about a movie that I refuse to watch any previews, clips, or trailers. This was basically my approach with Gone Girl, and it yielded powerful results—I had no clue what I was getting into (and it became one of my favorite movie-going experience in a long time), and I’m doing pretty much the same thing with Southpaw. That first image we saw of Jake Gyllenhaal as Billy “The Great” Hope was all I needed to see (along with some of his recent, incredible film performances) to know that Southpaw was probably going to be life-changing. Click inside to find out how he transformed both physically and mentally for this role!

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Don’t Eat Anything While Reading Bill Cosby’s Deposition On The Women He Raped

"I walk her out. She does not look angry. She does not say to me, don’t ever do that again."

Nowadays people often jokingly refer to that “little bit of vomit” that rises in your throat when you’re completely disgusted by something. I am not kidding or exaggerating when I say that I felt exactly that when I read this single tweet from the New York Times last night. I couldn’t even click on the link and read the full article—a collection of terrifying, mortifying, vile excerpts from Bill Cosby‘s deposition from 10 years ago—until this morning. I recommend that you put down whatever you might be eating before you click inside for more.

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How Amber Rose Looks In A White Swimsuit Is Not How I Look In A White Swimsuit

Adventures in stating the obvious.

What I like about Amber Rose is that she will go from sharing a video that highlights her incredibly dope skillz as a parent, and then transition to some sexy sexy sex time, without missing a beat. It all sort of makes no sense, but that’s only if you exist in a world where you can’t teach your son the word “translucent,” and then post an epic booty shot that goes viral over the weekend. Click inside for more!

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Ciara’s Boyfriend Says They’re Not Having Sex Because God Told Him ‘To Lead Her’ In Abstinence

"Ciara was on tour, and I was looking at her in the mirror, and God spoke to me"

UM EXCUSE ME WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE NOT HAVING SEX WITH CIARA? First of all, Russell Wilson will always get all the props in the world because HE’S NOT FUTURE. Okay? Yes. Thank you Russell, thank you for not being Future. But I have to admit that I busted out laughing when I saw that he gave an interview and publicly declared that he’s not having sex with his new girlfriend… and that it’s because he received a direct message from God about leading Ciara down a different path. Now, it’s not that I don’t believe God sometimes sends direct messages to believers… it’s just that, well, it’s kinda funny to think about God being all like, “Nah dude. Don’t even hit that yet.” Click inside for more!

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Nicki Minaj’s Italian Hotel Will Make You Weep

NOT. FAIR.

As some of you know, I celebrated my Dirty Thirty with an amazingly wonderful, restful, and glorious solo vacation in New Orleans. The trip was a gift from my partner in babymaking, he made sure to set me up in a gorgeous hotel, because that is a thing that I am into. The Renaissance Pere Marquette did me good, and now I just want to go back. Like, right now—especially after seeing these photos of Nicki Minaj‘s hotel in Italy. This is just… totally unfair. Click inside for more!

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Michael Bay Is Planning To Destroy Alfred Hitchcock’s Classic Film With A Remake Of ‘The Birds’

A. World. Of. HELL! NO!

Ugh. In today’s inevitable remake news, we learn that Michael Bay is planning to remake the classic Alfred Hitchcock masterpiece film The Birds (1963). I mean … I can’t even sigh loud enough at this news. Bay, IMHO, managed to take all of the fun out of the Transformers cartoon with his annoyingly over-the-top movie adaptations and now he wants to turn a Hitchcock classic into one of his films? No. I mean … just, no. For the most part, remakes are usually bad ideas … but this one has to be the worst idea ever. Naomi Watts is reportedly being courted to play the role that Tippi Hedron played in the original Hitchcock film so … there’s that. But no. The only thing that keeps resounding in my head is flatly and plainly, No. More »

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Rachel Dolezal’s Adopted Brother Speaks Out Against Her

"She just told me, 'I'm going to be considered black. Don't blow my cover."

This is the story that just won’t quit—at least not for a little while. Because some of us are still curious as to WTF possessed Rachel Dolezal to invent a black identity for herself, lying to the whole world for inexplicable reasons, here is an explanation of sorts from her black adopted brother, Ezra (the one in the far left of the photo). Ezra spoke to Buzzfeed News and confirmed that Rachel asked him to help her keep up this lie, stating simply that in Spokane, she was to be considered black. We all have family secrets, but daaammmmn Gina! (#AskRachel where that one’s from.) This is insane. Click inside for more!

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