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Kevin Federline proved that he would do anything to make a buck, including packing on the pounds just so he can lose them on reality TV (which, in all seriousness and honesty, is a step up career-wise for the ex-back-up dancer/rapper). K-Fed made his debut on VH1′s competitive reality TV series Celebrity Fit Club this week and proudly showed off just how much weight he was carrying around last year before he joined the show:

It takes a lot of guts to pose in just a pair of skimpy camouflage underwear — but that’s exactly what Kevin Federline did for his first appearance on VH1′s “Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp.” A 232-pound Federleezy took the “before” pics for his stint on the reality show — in which he hoped to shed 30 lbs. During last night’s premiere, Federline told the judges, “I look like a pregnant man.” We’ll see if the show helps K-Fed give birth to a new physique.

Grody to the MAXXX! Ew … the only reason I’m choosing to highlight K-Fed‘s K-Fatness is in the hopes that this brush with reality TV fame will inspire the leech to find other work and stop living off the alimony paid to him by his famous and very wealthy ex-wife. The thought of all of this blubber being piled upon K-Fed‘s lady love Victoria Prince makes me almost feel sorry for her … almost. Are any of y’all rooting for K-Fed‘s success on Celebrity Fit Club?

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First we found out that Lindsay Lohan‘s estranged father Michael Lohan got himself a new tattoo, then we found out that he got a new girlfriend (Kate Major, who is Jon Gosselin‘s ex-gf) and today we get to see all of that awesome tragedy all at once. Michael Lohan, his new squeeze Kate Major all all of his tattoos were on hand at a press conference for some celebrity boxing event wherein he publicly called out Jon Gosselin to fight him. Am I dreaming, have you ever heard of something so awesome?

Celebrity boxing means the A-list of the tabloid set are back in town. Kate Major and Lindsay Lohan’s dad were with Fox 29′s Jennaphr Frederick on Thursday morning at Varsity Fitness in Bala Cynwyd. Frederick used a hand-drawn map to draw the ties between the divorced celebrity father of starlet Lindsay Lohan, the former Star Magazine tabloid writer, and the now-divorced parents of eight and former reality TV show stars Jon and Kate Gosselin, of “Jon & Kate Plus 8″ fame. Major – a longtime friend of Lohan’s – dated Jon Gosselin while was in the midst of divorcing his wife. Lohan is in town because he’ll be fighting Saturday night at the Philadelphia Airport Ramada. After Frederick explained all of the relationships, Lohan chimed in, “Frankie’s Steaks has actually made an offer to help me challenge Jon Gosselin to a $125,000 fight when he’s off of his exclusivity with TLC. In May, I am proposing that Jon and I fight for $125,000, and the best cheesesteak in town, Frankie’s Steaks, is going to sponsor the fight for us.” Asked if she and Lohan have been “hanging out,” Major said they have. But she wouldn’t answer if they’ve been dating. “You know, I can’t say on that,” she answered, laughing. Lohan jumped in to say, “We’re friends. No, we’re friends. She lives out at my house, she moved here from Chicago, and she’s got employment in New York, and she’s in my house.” Then, they showed off their tattoos, which Lohan clarified “aren’t matching,” even though hey went together to both get tattoos of sacred hearts. “It stands for new beginning and hearts on fire for God and so on. I’m doing some mission work coming up in March,” Lohan explained. “And mine was a dedication to my mother, who passed away. So, that’s why I have mine,” Major said. Should Lohan and Gosselin fight? Major was unequivocal in her answer: “Absolutely. I mean, I would love to see that.” And she staked her claim on the opening line. Asked who would win, Major said, “Oh, Michael. Please, Jon has no chance. But he needs the money, so …” “We’ll see. If he fights me, we’ll find out,” Lohan said.

Of course by “awesome” I mean “so sadly pathetic that you can’t help but laugh”. I mean … seriously? Michael Lohan is gonna fight for money at the Philadelphia Airport Ramada with Jon Gosselin‘s ex-girlfriend rooting in his corner? I mean … yeah … what more is there to say. LOL!!

[Photo credit: Splash News; Source]

Earlier today we learned that Michael Lohan got himself a new tattoo over the weekend, a tacky-looking flaming heart thing, that matches a tattoo that Jon Gosselin‘s 26-year old ex-girlfriend Kate Major also had done. It turns out that the relationship between Lohan and Major (who is only 3 years older than Lindsay Lohan, I might add) goes far beyond matching tattoos … RadarOnline reports that the pair are officially a couple:

It’s official. Michael Lohan, 49, is dating again, and his new squeeze is his former pal Jon Gosselin’s ex-flame Kate Major — who at 26 — is only three years older than Lohan’s daughter Lindsay! RadarOnline.com snapped the happy couple arm-in-arm and hugging at the Walt Whitman Shopping Mall in Huntington Station, New York, where the couple went ring shopping! In these world exclusive photos, LiLo’s dad Michael and former entertainment magazine reporter Kate even posed and joked during their low-key night-out. While Michael denies, publically at least, that he’s romantically involved with Kate, RadarOnline.com has learned he and Kate made two significant purchases over the weekend: a diamond ring and a new beige BMW X5. Said one onlooker: “Everyone was left in no doubt Michael and Kate are a couple. “They had dinner together at California Pizza Kitchen and he snuck a little kiss. Then they went to a couple of shops in the mall, including a jeweler, where she left with a couple of huge sparklers on her fingers. “However, she wasn’t sporting anything on the engagement finger – just yet!” And as RadarOnline.com broke last week, Michael and Kate spent the holidays together in Chicago and even shared a hotel room in NYC during their depositions in the TLC lawsuit against reality-TV dad Jon Gosselin. Just when you though it couldn’t get more bizarre. To recap: Michael has bro-mance with Jon, Michael plays matchmaker and introduces Kate to Jon, Jon splits from Kate and Michael’s there to pick up the pieces.

LMAOOOOOOOOO! I mean … wow. This incestuous circle of douchebaggery seems to be feeding on itself in a desperate attempt to stay relevant. If ever a couple seemed more suited for one another, it’s these two. Just like Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt make the perfect pair so, too, does Michael Lohan and Kate Major. May they live happily every after together … in a land far, far away. Ugh.

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Jennifer Lopez and her overly perspirationous husband Marc Anthony showed up on the red carpet (!!!) of the Miami Dolphins game in Florida last night and much to their embarrassment, Anthony was brazenly showing off his soaking wet pit stains all night long. Um, can someone get Marc Anthony some antiperspirant STAT before we all puke onto our shoes?

Since buying a stake in the Miami Dolphins in July, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have been bringing a touch of A-list glamour to the American football scene. But arriving to watch their men play the New Orleans Saints in Florida yesterday afternoon, the Latin singer’s smart outfit was let down by his incredibly sweaty armpits. Falling prey to the sweltering [87.8 °F] sunshine, the 41-year-old couldn’t escape the unsightly sweat patches. While his 40-year-old wife showed off her curves in a black sundress and platform heels, it was Marc garnering the most attention with his damp shirt. Due to the heat, Jennifer’s face was also glistening with sweat, but it looked more like a flattering healthy glow. Marc and Jennifer have become regular attendees at Miami Dolphin games since they purchased a minority stake in the game over the summer. Unfortunately for the couple, the Saints won the game 46-34.

I mean, I realize it can get hot in Florida but other people managed to walk the red carpet without sweating thru their clothes. I can’t even imagine what it must be like for J. Lo to nuzzle up against her husband and get an armpit (or two) of stanky pit sweat. GROSS!! Heaven forbid that Marc put his arm around his lady love … he’d prolly drown the poor woman! UGH. Mebbe Marc, who is now part owner of the Dolphins, was sweating because his team has been playing like shit every since he bought ownership in the team? Whatever the case may be, he really needs to keep that shizz in check … it’s difficult enough to see pics of his zombielookin’ness without the pit stains … ICK!

[Photo credit: Splash News; Source]

Earlier this week, Bravo TV aired the second season finale of The Real Housewives of Atlanta (which, to be honest, I found wholly and entirely boring) and announced that the Atlanta Housewives reunion would be aired in two parts starting next week. Clearly some fence-mending took place at the reunion (or shortly thereafter) because once-friends, then bitter enemies and costars NeNe Leakes and Kim Zolciak were spotted all chummy as BFFs again at Mr. Chow restaurant in Beverly Hills, CA last night:

You may recall that earlier this year Kim alleged that NeNe tried to “choke her out” while the two were in production of the second season of The Real Housewives but that incident (whether it really happened or not) seems now to be water under the bridge. I suppose it’s nice that the ladies have kissed and made up (well, hugged) but with this good news … comes bad news … very, very bad news.

I have it on good authority that Kim Zolciak does NOT like to wear underwear … and now YOU are going to have it on the very same HORRIFYING authority. Kim managed to flash her naughty nasty bits as she get out of her car to meet up with NeNe at Mr. Chow last night … and horror or horrors … it is NOT a pretty sight:

If you are feeling brave enough to see, stupid enough to see or just plain hateful enough towards your eyeballs to see, you can behold the uncensored version of this crotch shot photo of Kim after the jump. Be warned it is not only extremely NSFW but it is also not safe for human consumption under any possible circumstances — LOOK AT YOUR OWN RISK …

Okay, so by now you have surely heard about a little 6 year old boy named Falcon Heene who was said to have flown away in a balloon, which set off an expensive search and rescue … only to turn out that the little boy was never in the balloon in the first place and was hiding in a box in the attic of his home:

The story started out humorous … then turned serious out of concern for the boy … then turned joyous once he was found safe and sound … and has now turned into very shady biz. Appearing on Larry King Live on CNN last night, mere moments after the boy was found unharmed, little Falcon was asked by guest host Wolf Blitzer why he didn’t come out of the attic when his parents called out his name looking for him. The little boy, with what looked to be a childlike innocence to tell the truth, admitted on live TV that his parents instructed him to hide because they were “doing it for ‘the show’” prompting his father to fidget and attempt to change the subject. Then this morning, the entire Heene family appeared on The Today Show and while his father was telling the story for the umpteenth millionth time, Falcon actually puked in his father’s lap … apparently even he is sick of hearing this story. So … was it a real incident or was it a hoax?

It was, apparently, a heartwarming tale — the 6-year-old Colorado boy who was reportedly carried aloft in a wayward helium balloon on Thursday, only to turn up several hours later after a frantic, widely televised search. Falcon Heene, fearful of being punished for messing around with his father’s balloon, had been hiding out above the garage at the family’s home in Fort Collins, Colo., his parents said. But on Thursday evening, after Falcon and his family appeared on CNN, discussion of the event online turned skeptical. The suspicions began after the family was interviewed by Wolf Blitzer — in the segment embedded below — and the young boy said that he had heard people in the house calling his name but had not responded because, he said to his parents, “You guys said… that, um, we did this for the show.” After Mr. Heene angrily denied that his son was admitting that the whole thing was a hoax, Mr. Blitzer quickly retreated, perhaps fearing that he would be accused of engaging in what is called “Gotcha journalism” with a six-year-old, saying, “I don’t want you to misunderstand, just asking the question doesn’t mean, Richard, that we are suggesting anything untoward or anything like that — we’re just thrilled that Falcon is alive and well.” He added, “I got to tell you personally, as a reporter who reported that he was alive and well, it was a thrilling moment for me.” People inclined to believe that Thursday’s balloon drama was a publicity stunt will want to see this raw video of Richard Heene explaining his “experiment” to reporters on Thursday night. In the video, published by 9news.com, the Web site of a Colorado television news station, Mr. Heene explained that his whole family was present when he launched the balloon and that he hopes that his invention can one day be used by commuters instead of cars. “It’s a low-altitude vehicle,” he said, “and we’re working on a way to perhaps get rid of modern vehicles, so we can just levitate, and go to work at fifty to a hundred feet, to and from work. And this works off a million volts to move horizontally. It uses helium to levitate, much like a blimp.” Then, after appearing to struggle with his emotions while recounting for the press the moment when one of his sons, Bradford, told him that his brother Falcon was inside the experimental vehicle when it took off, Mr. Heene regained his composure and thanked the media “for being kind to me.” One reporter then asked Mr. Heene what he thought his son meant when he told CNN he had hidden out for so long because it was “for the show.” Mr. Heene blamed the media for asking the local police about what he called “this publicity stunt crap.” He added that after “everything that I went through, everything my wife has gone through, I just find that just disgusting, its absolutely appalling to me, after all the crap that we went through, that they would say that. Getting back on track, Falcon is the key thing [...] what I heard him say was something about you guys asking the same question about the attic [...] so I thought he was talking about, when the garage door opened up and all the media was standing there and he was showing them how he got in.” At the very end of the news conference Mr. Heene — who called the 9news television channel for help on Thursday when he said he feared his son was floating away in the craft — told reporters that his family doesn’t watch television and “quite frankly for me its been a luxury not to have cable TV” … After the CNN interview on Thursday, Larimer County Sheriff Jim Alderden told The Associated Press that the boy’s comment on TV “has raised some questions.” “Our personnel who were dealing with the family all day are convinced this is a legitimate incident and this is not a hoax,” Mr. Alderden told The A.P. But with Falcon’s remark about “the show,” he said his investigators would “go back and further ask the family to cooperate with our investigation through answering more questions and resolve this issue” … On Friday morning, the family members appeared tired and emotional and on the “Today” show on NBC, Falcon vomited on camera.

The Heene family, who claim they don’t watch TV, have appeared on at least one reality TV show — Wife Swap. It’s entirely likely that this whole thing was staged. If you watch video of the interviews, you see that Richard Heene (the father) never really looks into the camera … his nervous and fidgety manner really makes it seem like he is not being truthful. The mother, Mayumi Heene, never offers anything of value and just seems to be going along with the circus. This entire matter seems so shady to me … especially considering that the entire thing was set in motion because the Heene family called the police (click HERE to hear the 911 call) and told them their child flew away in a flying saucer!!!! HELLOOOOOO!!!! After the jump, check out clips of the Heene family on Larry King Live and The Today Show — you make the call if they are lying on camera or not …

Blech … new photos of Paris Hilton and her new man Doug Reinhardt getting down and dirty while partying at the Cannes Film Festival have come to light. While I really wish I could unsee the horror that I subjected my poor eyes to, I’m afraid that isn’t possible. And so, because misery loves company, I want to share the photos with all y’all. Here is a batch of highly unsettling photos of Pug Dilton gettin’ freaky with one another inside a club this week:

After starring in 2004 sex tape 1 Night In Paris, you’d expect Paris Hilton to stay away from home videos. But during her latest night out in Cannes, the hotel heiress shed her inhibitions and put on a sexy show as she was filmed by her latest boyfriend Doug Reinhardt. After changing from a gold sequinned mini-dress into a tiny black number, the socialite ended up flashing her knickers at fellow partygoers as she grappled with Doug on the dancefloor. After filming Paris, 28, perform a sexy dance, besotted Doug, 23, pulled his girlfriend onto his lap for a very public kissing session. The couple, who have been dating for three months, couldn’t keep their hands off each other at the VIP Rooms club on the French Riviera. Earlier that night, the couple put on another display of public affection as they enjoyed a spot of tonsil-tennis in full view of the hundreds of revellers. The bash was held in honour of Paris to celebrate the sale of her documentary Paris, Not France, which she has been touting around the festival this week.

Ugh. Trust me … you ain’t even seen the grossest display of Pug Dilton‘s affection for one another. If you think you can handle it … there’s more. After the jump, check out one more photo that will surely have you thinking Why, gods, why? …

EWWWWWWW … poor Diddy. Here are a few unnecessary yet kinda funny pics of Diddy stepping in a pile of canine excrement (it’s the nicest way I could think of to describe it) while walking the streets of NYC yesterday afternoon:

I know, I know … pics like these are totes unnecessary and I’m really not trying to incur the wrath of the fates by posting them but … it’s Diddy … in poop … LOL.

[Photo credit: INFdaily]

Vicki B was on hand at Harvey Nichols in Manchester, UK yesterday to make an in-store appearance for the launch of her newest fragrance called Signature. VB was an angelic vision in white as she stepped out in front of the cameras for yesterday’s in-store event …

… but upon closer inspection, it was discovered that VB (presumably in her haste to make sure that her outfit, make-up and hair were perfectly styled) seems to have overlooked one teeny little detail in her personal cleaning process. Homegirl totally forgot to scrape the gross crud in her ear before she stepped out in front of the cameras … I must warn y’all … it’s gross. After the jump, check out just how gross her ear looked …