James Franco Wrote A Short Story About Not Having Sex With Lindsay Lohan

"Let’s call this girl Lindsay. She was a Hollywood girl"

Back in April, James Franco gave an interview to Howard Stern where he made it plainly clear that he had never had sex with Lindsay Lohan, despite claims to the contrary. Today we learn that James penned a new short story where he claims, again, that he never had sex with Lindsay … instead, he read to her in lieu of having sex with her. This short story, Bungalow 98, is published in the new issue of Vice magazine. Click below to read excerpts and hear James‘s side of the Lindsay Lohan sex story AGAIN but this time in short story form.

She knocked on the door. She was in her pajamas. She had bare feet. Once upon a time a guy, a Hollywood guy, read some Salinger to a young woman who hadn’t read him before. Let’s call this girl Lindsay. She was a Hollywood girl, but a damaged one. I knew that she would like Salinger, because most young women do. I read her two of the Nine Stories, “A Perfect Day for Bananafish” and “For Esmé—with Love and Squalor.” “Bananafish” was great because it has a nagging mother on the other end of the phone line, nothing like Lindsay’s real mother, but still, the mother-daughter thing was good for her to hear. And there’s the little girl in the story, Sibyl, and the pale suicide, Seymour, who kisses her foot and talks about bananafish with her, those fantastic phallic fish who stick their heads in holes and gorge themselves—it should be called “A Perfect Day for Dickfish”—and then, bam, he shoots himself. Then I read “For Esmé,” which is basically the same story as “A Perfect Day for Dickfish.” A man goes to war. He is traumatized. Then he is saved by the innocence of a young girl. The structure of this story is very nice. Yes, stories, stories, stories, stories. S-t-o-r-i-e-s.

You can read the full text of Bungalow 89 HERE. I have to say, methinks the lady doth protest too much but … c’est la vie. James Franco likes to work out his shizz via his art so, I guess none of this is at all surprising. Happy reading … whether you believe his story or not.

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  1. Is it too late to volunteer James Franco to the list of celebs we’ve had enough of? There should be a Hunger Games version of this.

  2. I still don’t believe him. I don’t doubt for a second him and Lindsay did the nasty.

  3. Paul

    “And there’s the little girl in the story, Sibyl, and the pale suicide, Seymour, who kisses her foot and talks about bananafish with her, those fantastic phallic fish who stick their heads in holes and gorge themselves—it should be called “A Perfect Day for Dickfish”—and then, bam, he shoots himself. Then I read “For Esmé,” which is basically the same story as “A Perfect Day for Dickfish.” ”

    If I am reading the symbolic language correctly, they did it two times.

  4. peaches

    Honestly, why? Like, no one asked.

    • Nora

      Right? I’d more or less forgotten about that list and who was on it. Now that he’s loudly denying everything, not only do I remember the list being a thing, but James Franco is suddenly the only person I could name as having been on it.

      Also, this right here is exactly what protesting too much looks like.

  5. FoxRox

    Oh, James… You protest too much.

  6. MJ

    Well, after the shirtless instagram in bed with Keegan Allen… maybe he DID just read with Lindsay? ;)

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