A New Beyoncé-Inspired Religion Called ‘Beyism’ Has Been Created

Behold, The National Church of Bey

Back in January we learned that a new Kanye West-inspired religion was created by a 23-year old man so I guess it should come as no surprise to learn that a Beyoncé-inspired religion has also been created as well. Beyism is the name of this new religion which was created by a group of 12 friends in Atlanta, CA, led by a self-proclaimed Minister Diva named Pauline John Andrews. HMMM. The group claims that the inspiration for Beyism came from one of their weekly hang sessions where the friend would gather every Sunday to sing her songs. While smoking marijuana, they say, the inspiration for this Beyoncé-inspired religion sprang froth. Imagine that.

A group of 12 friends from Atlanta, Georgia have taken their admiration for the singer Beyoncé to a more spiritual level. Zay of www.MapeNation.com reports that Pauline John Andrews is the founder and self-proclaimed “Minister Diva” of the new National Church of Bey. What is now known as Beyism began about two years ago in a run-down garage in Southwest Atlanta. “There were 12 of us,” Andrews explained, “and we used to gather every Sunday and sing her songs together. One day, while drinking Moscato and smoking Beyha (marijuana), we analyzed one of her songs and came to the realization that Beyoncé is truly divine.” From that moment moving forward, Andrews took the reigns as the leader of the Divine Divas. Some time in the summer of 2013, they adopted the name “National Church of Bey” and registered themselves as a non-profit institution. Pauline John Andrews proclaimed herself the first Minister Diva of the National Church of Bey. Through donated funds, and by all 12 members emptying their savings accounts, the church was able to purchase a building that would become their first temple. The rest is history. Today, the National Church of Bey is thriving and shows no signs of slowing down. The congregation has grown to 203 official Divine Divas. One random visit to the temple on a Saturday night would prove to be an interesting experience. You would get to listen to Minister Diva Andrews preach from the principal text of Beyism known to them as the Beyble. Andrews explains, “Our most sacred text is a compilation of all of Beyoncé’s verses and lyrics. Through our Beyble, we can better ourselves and strive to become truly Divine Divas.” Shouts of “Surfbort!” were made by fellow divas as a sign of approval for her statement. Minister Diva Andrews estimates that there are at least 58 million worshippers of Beyism, but 99% of them simply don’t realize it.

LMAOOOO!!! I’m could be a Beyist and I didn’t even know it!!

“Whenever you see a large group of women defending the actions of her divine divaness, Bey, they are practicing Beyism,” Andrews explained, “It is not about believing she rose from the dead, or that she is perfect or anything like that, it is about recognizing that she is the Divine Diva that we all strive to be.” As for who can join the National Church of Bey? Well, 100% of the congregation consists of women, but males are welcome to join the church on the strength of one condition – they sacrifice their manhood.

Er, on second thought … Beyism is NOT for me :/

All males are to go through a symbolic ceremony known as Bicchen in which they symbolically remove their penises and then declare their allegiance to the Divine Diva, Bey. At the conclusion of the ceremony, the member then achieves the status of Puhcee. What the future holds for the National Church of Bey is unclear. The hope of the church is that the millions of fans recognize that they are practicing Beyism. Once this happens, the true aspirations of the Divine Divas can finally be met. What is that you may ask? According to Minister Diva Andrews, it is “for the whole world to bow at the feet of the Goddess Beyoncé and recognize that she is the Diva of all Divas!”

Yeaaaaaah, naw, I’m good. While I applaud the inventiveness of this group of friends, I can’t really see how Beyism will actually become a thing. That said, if 99% of Beyists don’t even know that they are Beyist than the religion may survive … whether any of us know it or not. While I’d LOVE to give this the That-Ish-Cray label, I’m not all that comfortable besmirching the religious bey-liefs of any one else … even if those beliefs are marijuana induced.

What say you, PITNBers? Does Beyism sound like the religion for you?

[Source, thanks Christine]

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  1. Voltron

    This is the most fucked up thing I have ever heard of. I hope this “religion” crashes and burns in the most humiliating way possible.

  2. You do not realize you are playing with eternal fire. You have lost your mind of what little is left. I would be shaking in my boots. You are not being judged by me. But boy when the time comes you will be judged. When that time comes there is no turning back GOOD LUCK

    • @imroboman — Who are you talking to, may I ask?

    • Christian

      You guys need a real bible with real verses. This is retarded. I Cant believe how stupid people really are. Pray to Jesus that he sees you out of this ridiculous phase in your “Diva Life” I hope that your guys building burns down when lighting all that marijuana . Beyonce worships satan and so do. SMH

    • @Christian — I will pray to Jesus, Yeezus and Beyzus that you stop using the word “retarded” as an insult. Please, stop.

  3. BHIBH

    THE END IS NIGH! I FEEL PITY FOR YA’LL.

  4. servent of CHRIST

    I will pray for you all may GOD have mercy on yall… smh

  5. Brother Wusha

    You are not the first group that is making mockery of themselves several groups have come and go and others will still form. My advice is that Allah/God is severe in punishment. Stop your blasphemy and turn in repentance to God. I love you all and please stop and celebrate the mercy of God. Thanks

  6. Papa

    They remove your manhood and become puhcees…………………thats one fucked up religion

  7. DANNY

    may the GOOD LORD GOD ALMIGHTY who is very slow to anger have mercy upon you 100 times,ticket to hell with out no traffic light, my advice confess JESUS CHRIST SON OF THE MOST HIGH GOD AS YOUR PERSONAL LORD AND SAVIOUR.

    (ONE MORE QUESTION TO BEYISM WORSHIPPERS,WERE IS THE RESTING PLACE OF YOUR MEMBERS AFTER DEATH, DEMAND AN ANSWER)?

    • @DANNY — “ONE MORE QUESTION TO BEYISM WORSHIPPERS,WERE IS THE RESTING PLACE OF YOUR MEMBERS AFTER DEATH, DEMAND AN ANSWER” I can’t speak for Beyists at all but I would assume Bey-heaven?

  8. DANNY

    may the GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY who is very slow to anger have mercy upon you 100 times,ticket to hell with out no traffic light, my advice confess JESUS CHRIST SON OF THE MOST HIGH GOD AS YOUR PERSONAL LORD AND SAVIOUR.

    (ONE MORE QUESTION TO BEYISM WORSHIPPERS,WERE IS THE RESTING PLACE OF YOUR MEMBERS AFTER DEATH, DEMAND AN ANSWER)?

  9. Michelle

    Beyonce should be ashamed of herself for not putting a stop to this! The is only one GOD!

  10. Michelle

    * THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD!

  11. Would a goddess show off her boobs. Where in any bible would anyone ask you to kill yourself for another. Where in any bibles say Beyoncé is anything but a regular person

  12. symon

    This is how Christianity was created.

  13. Rachel

    This is the most stupidest thing i ever read in my life , Naa thanks imma just continue believing in my God

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