Jesus Will Take On Mankind In A New Kevin Smith Film

Obviously

The other day I was reminded of the fact that I am a huge Kevin Smith fan. There was a story going around about how he came to the defense of one of his own critics, after some of his fans took to Twitter and started tweeting ridiculous, misogynistic type ish at a woman who took a dig at one of his movies. Anyway, Kevin took to his blog to take down the trolls and you should definitely read his message in full when you get a chance, but one thing he wrote stuck out at me: “A woman-hater is just a woman-beater in waiting. If you wanna argue with words on my behalf (or EVER, for that matter), NEVER REDUCE/CURSE/HUMILIATE/HATE/DISMISS WOMEN IN THE PROCESS. I wouldn’t let you do it in front of me; I’m not gonna let you do it on my behalf in cyberspace.” So yeah, I love Kevin Smith. And Dogma changed my liiiife! Click inside to learn about his new project!

Paste Magazine has the deets:

Cinema Blend points out that director Kevin Smith, the mind behind Clerks and Chasing Amy and the transcendent Ben Affleck/J-Lo vehicle Jersey Girl, has already brainstormed his next film. I’d try to describe it, but I think it’s best to just use Smith’s own words from a recent Facebook post, which details how the idea came about from his ‘Smodcast’ (a classic bit of Smithian wordplay, making a portmanteau of “Smith” and “podcast”):

“[the film] concerns mankind teaming up with Hell to save existence from extinction at the hands of a Rapturing giant Jesus – which means the budget has to be LOW, because NOBODY’S gonna wanna make that movie.”

With our nation’s foremost religious icon starring as a ravaging villain? I can’t imagine why not! The film will be called Helena Handbag, for reasons that will become to clear to the hundreds of whiny ‘90s holdovers that eventually see it, and the really bad news is that because Smith is filming Clerks III in May (there was a Clerks II?), there’s no timetable on when HH will make it to theaters.

You can read Smith’s long Facebook post about the project, and his life, and his career, here. The brief summary is that he’s vowed to only make movies when he has a real “Kevin Smith” kind of idea (Jersey Girl, Zack & Miri, and Cop Out are examples of his not-unique-to-Kevin-Smith’s-brain films), and that Helena Handbag is the next in line.

Well, as I said, Dogma changed my life and remains one of my favorite films of all time. So anytime Kevin Smith gets down and dirty with theology, I’m into it.

I think it’s interesting that he’s vowing to only make his Kevin Smith-iest ideas into movies. I actually loved Zack & Miri, but I can also see how it stands out form his signature works. Are you guys psyched for the new flick or what?

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  1. Dogma also changed my life. It was the first film I saw that was “biblical” but not so PC. I was never really religious growing up as I had a “spiritual” mother but I was able to grow and make my own interpretations on religions after that.

  2. Aisis

    So, absolutely psyched! I love his movies, all of them (well…the non-KevenSmithesque notwithstanding)…Chasing Amy..? OH EM GEE! DOGMA…any day of the week (BoardRoom Quote it…Ben Affleck: Loki…!? Matt Damon: “U R SO LUCKY!” Ben Affleck: “LOKI!!!!!!”) *real tears…And yes, Virginia, there was a Clerks II, lol with Rosario Dawson and a bit about porch monkeys. It sounds so absolutely racist but I swear it isn’t! lol He’s bringing it back! (Just watch it and you’ll know what Im talmbout).

    PS. Matt & Ben *clears throat and shouts really obnoxiously* BAAAAAAWSTON! *sits back down, crosses ankles demurely under her seat at Fenway Paaaawk, smiles pretty for the camera*

  3. OG Emily

    I love his comments on women – I had no idea he was so respectful. Shannon, did you see him on the Mindy Project this season? He’s next to Mindy on a flight and actually really derogatory to her. I kind of got the impression he was like that in real life – so glad to see I’m wrong.

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