OMGomgomgomgomgomg. I lit’rally feel like it’s the beginning of the sixth grade, we’re back from summer vacation and we’re all out in the school yard freaking the freak out. Allll the drama from last year is still kinda lingering in the air, and we’re tryna see who still isn’t talking to who, who broke up over the summer, and who got boobs. Oh, and for the record– in this metaphor where the sixth grade represents ABC‘s third season of Scandal– Abby‘s the one who got boobs (bitch looked amazing). Scandal is back y’all! And thus, the recaps! I know many of you have been waiting for this all day, so let’s get to it!
Last night the third season premiere of Scandal went down and we all know it was kind of a big deal. Right away we got some pertinent questions answered regarding some of last season’s insaaaaane cliffhangers. 1.) Olivia Pope‘s dad was NOT trying to have her killed — he was trying to kill Jake Ballard. Good to know. And 2.) Olivia Pope‘s dad is, in fact, everything. More on that later.
I’m not gonna lie; I wasn’t, like, losing my mind over the episode until about midway through when ish really started popping off. There was plenty going on, but– again it was like that first day of school and I was kinda shy and then something cray happened and I was like Oh yeah baby. I belong here. LMAO. So much stuff happened, so let’s get to it!
1. I Want Olivia Pope’s Dad To Be My Dad, Wait No. I Think Olivia Pope’s Dad IS My Dad, And I’m Frightened Right Now Because My Dad Is Hella Scary.
Okay, so I am obsessed with/completely frightened by my
Olivia‘s Dad. Everything he said in the first 7 minutes of the episode was EPIC! He kinda reminds me of Cyrus? Right? A little? Just like, really intense, and really insane, and really into politics (like in the way where it has probably given him a heart attack or two) and honest about the way things work and who’s in power in Washington D.C.
But dude for real. Alllll my Daddy issues started rearing their ugly heads up in this one. I mean, I get that your daughter MAY have disappointed you, MAY have fallen in love with the President of the United States, or may have gotten pregnant twice while still in undergrad (what?! wait no, that was me), but damn Daddy! LMAO! Papa Pope totally made Olivia feel like SHIZZ for not only having an affair with the Pres., but for actually believing that she could end up in the White House after being his so-called mistress. I mean, he just went innnnn on her.
You and I both know that he. Is. Not. In. Charge. Power is in charge. Power got him elected!
You have to be TWICE as good as them to get HALF of what they have.
(I love that one. We know Shonda Rhimes has these subtle/not-so-subtle ways of dealing with race on this show and this was definitely one of those moments.)
You are getting on that plane come hell or high water. And to be clear, I am the hell and the high water.
In the end, Olivia gets off the plane (I think we knew she was gonna do that), and it all happened after she made a quick phone call to Cyrus who begged her not to run:
I AM A MONSTER. But I am YOUR monster!
Sigh. You know you missed Cyrus the most, LOL! Okay, maybe Huck too. I freaked out when we saw Huck. Really missed him over summer break.
2. The Olivia Carolyn Pope Kill Folder
Okay, now this was interesting. Once that video leaked of President Fitz leaving Olivia Pope‘s house in the middle of the night, Cyrus appeared to have totally changed his game plan to save Olivia and save the White House. He wanted nothing to do with Harrison when he called, and he started that damn Kill Folder on Olivia Carolyn Pope!
But I LOVED that little folder! We learned so much about Olivia; that her mother passed away when she was young. That Daddy educated the eff out of her, but never did love her the way I wanted him to… I mean she. She wanted him to ;)
She dated hella older, successful politician types. So much so that Cyrus suggested they could play the ‘ambitious slut card.’ Did you know there was such thing as an ambitious slut card? Okay, because there is. LMAO!
We’re just getting started! There’s levels/pages to this shizz! Click over for more!