Um, One Of Your Beloved PITNB Writers Is Hella Pregnant, And It’s Kind Of A Big Deal

It's Either Trent, Or Shannon. One Of The Two.

I know. I know. Let me just got ahead and give you a moment to freak the freak out. (((MOMENT)))

Right now, based on the headline, you are probably LOSING your shizz trying to figure out if either Trent OR Shannon is on bump watch right now. I mean, let’s not just assume the obvious here. It’s 2013! Either one of us could be pregnant, or expecting, or whatever. Don’t just assume that it’s the GIRL writer– that is sooooo 2001, and sooo close-minded of you. As a woman and as a feminist, I personally am offended by any one of you assuming that I, Shannon– mother of two– am the obvious choice for the pregnant PITNB writer. Like, c’mon. Just because I’m always talking about sex, and just because I have like no recent pictures of myself from the waist down, it DOESN’T mean I’ve been concealing my pregnancy from the public eye for the past SEVEN 1/2 MONTHS! That would be insane. It would also be insane for me to have a third child right now. I just got my almost 3 year-old out of pull-ups, I’m not married or even, like, remotely close to it, and there’s no way that I could have been pregnant this whole time because that means my pregnancy buddies would have been Kate Middleton and friggen Kanye West‘s babymama. And there’s no way I could have kept that to myself. There’s just no way. Also, no way I went to a Dipset concert during my first trimester. Right? Right.

#F-CKYEAHSHANNON’SPREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 

LMAO! OMG!!! I am hella pregnant right now y’all. And I still have time/energy to occasionally put on eyeliner = WINNING.


 

Okay, but seriously. I know you have questions– how the eff could I keep this news from you? How effing pregnant am I, exactly? Is this baby gonna be rocking blue or pink (or both… what)? Do I have a name picked out? Is that name a nautical direction, or a fruit of some kind? And did I or did I not vomit watching Justin Bieber‘s Eminem cover yesterday? Allow me to answer all these and other important questions about my glorious, epic, semi-surprising third pregnancy.

How the eff could I keep this news from you: First off, I’ve never had to publicly declare a pregnancy before and it is hilarious. There were sooo many things I wanted to be able to tell you guys when I announced this. I wanted to be able to say it was awesome and perfect and I’d just moved my family into a fabulous 4 bedroom home, and I totally wasn’t freaking out about the fact that I have NO baby clothes because I’m constantly passing baby clothes along (convinced that I’m totally not getting prego again anytime soon). I wanted to be able to tell you that I was in a perfect relationship with the perfect partner and we were so effing happy and perfect it was going to make you sick.

So yeah. No. Not quite. But, after more searching than I care to think about, I did find a much bigger apartment right down the street from Jonovan‘s school, which is awesome. I still don’t have infant clothes, but it’s fine. I’ll get them, and probably end up accidentally buying something Miranda Kerr bought for Flynn since I now have proof that our kids dress alike. I’m still not in a perfect relationship, but I can say that I have the perfect partner in crime/babymaking. I can say this, not because he’s perfect or because I’m perfect (or even, like, perfectly compatible… jury’s still out on that… LMAO… don’t you DARE judge me, I’m pregnant), but because when we get together this happens:


 

All that to say, as with any time in my life, there’s plenty to freak out about, but there’s waayyyy more to not freak out about. I try to choose the not freaking out part as much as I can. It makes life happier. And it’s better for my skin :)

Sidenote: Jonovan and Jovelle are CREEPY excited about this baby. Jovelle is fully convinced that the baby is going to come out and start playing football with him, immediately. And Jonovan– pro big brother that he is– is just ready to put in work. He has expressed some concerns about being able to take care of both babies (his little brother, and new sibling). Like, how’s he gonna hold them both, he wants to know. All valid concerns.

How effing pregnant am I, exactly: I am exactly 30 weeks and one day. My official due date is October 7, 2013 which is another reason I put off telling you guys this! Can you imagine how loooong and arduous this bump watch would have been if you knew back in JANUARY that I was pregs?! Y’all would have been calling me Jessica Simpson all over the place! I couldn’t have that, and I couldn’t put you through that. Now we can have the shortest, sweetest, final trimester, 10-week bump watch ever. Isn’t that wayyy more fun?! Yes, I know it is. I also didn’t want to steal too much shine from Kate Middleton and Kanye‘s babymoms. Now that they’ve both popped, there can be one last EPIC bump watch of the year… LMAO.

P.S./Fun fact: My baby was totally conceived on my favorite holiday, New Year’s Day. Just thought you’d like to know. What I was doing. To ring in 2013. LMAOOOooooo. Oh boy.

Your answer to the pink/blue question is on the next page! GAhhhhhhhhhhh!
 

 
Share:
  1. Whit

    You are gorgerous! Congrats Shannon!!!!

  2. ahhh Shannon! you’re adorable lol. Congrats!!

  3. Samantha

    baby!!!!!!! I’m so excited.

  4. Ahhhh Congrats!!! I am so happy you are a writer on here and I am so excited for you!!!

  5. Amanda

    Congratulations, Shannon!!! So happy for ya!

  6. What the crack?! OMG! CONGRATULATIONS!!!! So happy for you!
    Dude, can I look like you when I get pregnant?! You’re gorgeous!

  7. Congratulations!! I had two boys, then my girl. Then another girl. Oh, and then another boy. I’m totally done – I swear!!

  8. LiQue

    Congrats !!!! may i suggest Pink Southeast by northwest as a name???

  9. Ashley

    Um.. I friggen love this post. Best baby announcement post ever! I won’t even be mad that you guys were able to keep this from us for so long. ;) Congrats Shannon! I am super happy for you and hope that you will be able to find SOME time to keep posting here. :)

  10. F YEAH! Congratz Trent!

  11. Brenna

    Congratulations!

  12. shut the front door!
    hooray! congrats! (ooh, when i was typing this, “pink and blue” by andre 3000 came on my itumes. so there you go!)

  13. helen

    Pink Is The New Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yaaayy!!!!

    Congrats Shannon!! May your beautiful family be blessed forever :)

  14. Kristín

    awww that´s great news, congrats Shannon :) You look amazing with your bump and your c cups hahaha :) My third baby is 10 months old now and yeah its a whole lotta work but it´s all worth it and gets easier every month that passes by.
    Keep us updated on these baby bump pixs untill the baby is born :)

    • Kristín, thanks so much! Love hearing from Moms of three– I’m not AS petrified as I was a few months back but I’m still like ‘Oh shizz… it’s about to get real.’ LOL

  15. kt

    Hands down, best birth announcement ever!! Congrats to you, and your partners in crime!!!

  16. Shannon m.

    Three reasons i’m SO excited for you: 1) mostly because of your pregnancy boobs. 2) because you make the best looking children 3) because your relationship dynamic with your fellow baby-maker is so different and cool (i.e. you don’t get all Maury Povich on us with trying to figure out who your baby daddy is. Thank you.) You are now sharing bump watch with Halle Berry and that’s pretty decent :)

    • Shannon m.

      Oh and I love that you shared when your baby was conceived. Appreciate your honesty.

    • Shannon m., LOL! Thank you so much. I try to be real with you guys about things as they are in my life. I appreciate all the love, seriously.

      True story– Halle and I were pregnancy buddies before! She is SO obsessed with getting pregnant with me! Nahla and Jonovan are a few months apart :)

  17. Congratulations, Shannon!!!! I am so happy for you! You are GLOWING in those pictures! Your children seem so cute and sweet, I think it is a good thing for the world that more of your little ones will be in it!

  18. Ohhhh my gosh!!! Congrats, congrats, congrats!!!! A++ for this hilarious, amazing and exciting post!! So, SO excited for you! :) :)

    • Also, how have your ovaries and hormones not exploded all over Miranda/Flynn posts or royal baby posts?! So impressed with your secret-keeping-skills!

    • ClaireMichelle, I’ve been trying to keep it together. But I knew it would be so fun to do it this way. And Miranda has DEF been my hair/make-up/everything inspiration throughout this so that’s been helpful ;) Thanks for all the lurve!

  19. Bekah

    Congratulations, Shannon!

  20. rOXy

    This was an epic baby announcement. One that only you could have written. I know you enjoy the waiting, but is it October yet? Btw, that picture of your two boys is EVERYTHING plus! a giant warm german chocolate cupcake. Which I am going to go have. To celebrate your little bumpkin. You look lovely, my dear. So happy for you!

  21. Congrats Shannon! That’s totally awesome!

  22. Ria

    Congrats Shannon!!! I’m so happy awesome people like you are spawning. =)))

  23. Oh, my gosh. You are the cutest pregnant woman *ever*. Congrats, Shannon!

  24. Abby

    Oh my gosh! I can’t believe it! You’re 7 months pregnant!!!

    Congratulations Shannon! Wonderful news :)

  25. claire

    Not gonna lie, I was a little disappointed it WASN’T Trent. LOLJK (but yeah, a baby Trent would be adorbs)..

    CONGRATS, SHANNON!! :D

  26. Joanna

    It’s okay Shannon I’ll forgive this non-disclosure, because your kids are hella cute, and you’re bringing another one into the world and I don’t think we, as a PITNB reading collective, could have handled waiting 9 months. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy :-)

  27. Yaaaaaay! Even though you aren’t openly hoping for a girl…I will do it for you. You need a girl!! That said, your boys are clearly amazeballs, too, so it’s really a win-win.

    Congrats on the new apartment, the new baby and the new boobs! :)

  28. Congratulations Shannon!! Such lovely news!
    So happy for you, and your boys are the most gorgeous ever :)

  29. Linnéa

    OMG congrats! You look gorgeous! That pregnancy glow you got *sigh*

  30. Shane

    Congratulations! :) :)

  31. Congratulations!!!

  32. Jay

    So many congratulations to you and your gorgeous fam!

    ALSO, OMG, we’re pregnancy twins! I’m 32 weeks today. I just wish I looked as adorable as you do.

  33. “Y’all would have been calling me Jessica Simpson all over the place!”

    This line made my laugh out loud!! The best baby announcement ever. Congratulations Shannon!! and a congrats to Uncle Trent.

  34. Halli

    You look absolutely fantastic! Also, HUGE congrats. I can’t wait to see a 3rd gorgeous child. You have a lot of pressure there. ;)

  35. Now I’m like, Wait, Roselifah who?! Their (previous) bump watch pales in comparison to yours!

    SHANNON! CONGRATULATIONS!! HOORAY FOR BABIES!!!

  36. Ashen

    I prefer to think of your bump watch with all the pomp and circumstance of Kate’s bump watch and all the class of Halle Berry’s bump watch!

    Congrats! Happy Bumpin’!

  37. Lulu

    Weeeeee!!! I’m sorry, but I’m thinking blue for ya! You need to join the 3boy momma club! :)

    Big huge congrats! :) :) :)

  38. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO FRIGGEN EXCITED!!!!! SHE will be gorgeous of course!

  39. OMG! Congrats Shannon! This was the best pregnancy news EVER!

  40. MJ

    OMG, congrats Shannon! So let’s welcome George/Georgia Pink Easton! ;)

  41. THESE COMMENTS ARE EVERYTHING! THESE BABY NAME SUGGESTIONS ARE EVERYTHING! THANKS TO ALLLLLLLL OF YOU <3 <3 <3

  42. Alecia

    This is the year of surprise babies and surprise albums! Congrats Shannon :)!

  43. Yay!!!!!!!!!! It’s a celebration, bitches…somebody get Charlie Murphy…

  44. Yay! Congrats Shannon, this is awesome news! So who’s planning the PITNB baby shower? ;)

  45. Brittany

    Aw! Congrats Shannon! :) It must be something in the water because everyone me around is pregnant or just had a baby. LOL What an awesome New Years gift!

  46. beans

    I made my baby on Jan 1 and hes due Sept 24-I think your math is miscalculated… Congrats all the same! (I, shamefully, only know this because of my lack of sexy time, whereas you are (luckily) getting it more than me!)
    And I totally agree with your boobie business, mine are huge and I am in love with them ;)

  47. Marissa

    Congratulations!!! I am also 7 1/2 months as well due October 10th. I agree that you shouldve waited to tell because this pregnancy has taken far too long, im ready to leave work and be on maternity leave. Congrats again!!!

  48. Lena

    We were so pregnancy buddies! Although mine popped 2 months ago, same day as Channing Tatums babymama…pretty cool, huh!! Best of wishes!! It’s very exciting news!

  49. Lydia

    Congratulations!!!! So happy for you Shannon!

  50. Wohoo, congratulations and many blessings to your entire family! Thanks for sharing the wonderful news with all of us. Much love! *hugs*

  51. Oh it has 69 comments! :O

    What’s the topic with most comments? Let’s break the record and “blame” the Pink is the new Baby for it. :D

  52. Cee

    Shannon, what amazing news! So happy for you and said baby-making partner, and so happy the boys are super excited to be big brothers! …and thank you for cutting to the chase and not giving us a Jessica Simpson-preggo for 1 million years bump watch! xx

  53. OMG!!@@#$#!# Congrats Shannon! Holy crap you look amazing preggers.

  54. Congrats!! And YAY pregnancy boobs!!

  55. Karen

    Congratulations, Shannon! A third one lucky to have you as a mom!

  56. Congrats, Shannon! I love that you aren’t finding out boy/girl until his/her arrival! Best wishes for a smooth 3rd trimester!

  57. Mish

    Okay, now I’m officially weirded out cause TWO girls I work with AND the waitress at our business dinner tonight (yes, they really talked about this) share your due date. SO WEIRD.

    Power to you though and CONGRATS!

    Ps, I’m one of five and my mom always says 3 was the craziest out of all of it…she says after you run out arms, it’s all the same after that!

  58. Congrats on the baby! And I have to add, you are a great writer, I love reading you every day!

  59. Lisa Lisa

    Wait wait wait! I miss one day of reading PITB, and this is what I miss?! I swear, I’ll never skip a day again, no matter how busy I am at work! Congrats Shannon! So excited for you!

  60. tessa

    OMG!! Congratulations!! :) Can’t wait for the PITNB baby!!

  61. Congratulations Shannon!!!!

    You’re a better woman than me. If I made babies that awesome and adorable I’d be pregnant ALL. OF. THE. TIME. Octomom and that Duggar woman would be asking ME for advice. I’m pretty sure that’s why God keeps me on Team EmptyUtero. He knows I wouldn’t do right by my uterus.

  62. Congratulations Shannon!!! Rocking it girl!!! SO happy for you!

  63. sfmom

    Yep. This is the best PITNB post ever! Congratulations! Hope you continue to feel healthy for the next ten weeks and have an awesome birth, too!
    And fwiw – my three kids are all three years apart and I have found it to be the ideal spacing for enjoying each child’s baby phase. ;-) Plus – only one kid in diapers at a time = win!
    Happy 3rd trimester! :)

    • sfmom

      Oh also! I had three gender surprise babies and it was also such a great moment finding out. Gave a great extra push (heheh) of motivation during labor too. Mine are all girls.

  64. Congratulations Shannon!!! So happy for you and added bonus a fellow Libra will soon be joining the ranks.

  65. Jen

    Congrats, Shannon! October 7 is a wonderful birthday (mine)!

  66. Siobhan

    Congratulations!!! While I would never wish an extended pregnancy beyond a due date, I’m just putting it out there that my birthday is October 8th ;) You look awesome!

  67. KiTX

    YAY, my kid is due Sept 18- cross country playdate? Yes. Also, I’m super jealous of your pregnancy boobs. I’m an A and my boobs have NOT GROWN and I’m in month 8. How is this possible? I seriously feel like I was deceived seeing as I’ve spent my whole life waiting for them. So please appreciate yours just that much more on my behalf.

  68. Emily

    Shannon, the fruit of your loins shall balance out the unleashing of Baby Kimye … and for that I am so grateful. Praise Jeebus, you are one hot momma! Congrats beautiful!

Leave A Comment