Y’all may have noticed that I had to skip Throwback Thursday last week and this is why. This list is the reason why. I knew it was time to finally do the Throwback reggae post I’d been working on with PITNBr Emily (who used to be a reggae DJ, and who now makes fancy purses… because she is awesome), and I knew once I started working on it, it would dominate my entire life/day. And it has. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to make your two children lunch while trying to dutty wine to Mr. Vegas‘s Hot Wuk? Actually, it’s not hard at all. It’s effing awesome. But then after lunch I had to bring my laptop to the bathroom ’cause I couldn’t hear Beenie Man while I was in there flat-ironing my hair, and it was just total madness trying not to burn myself or knock my two-year old in the face with my booty while I tried to get ready. LMAO, omg this list is the best, I’m sorry. It just is. And if any of you DARE listen to these songs while, like, sitting still OMG do NOT talk to me! My son’s on my lap and I’m lit’rally rocking him to sleep listening to song number 5. Yeah, you better effing click inside so you can figure out what song number 5 is. Hint: It is EVERYTHING.
1. Tony Matterhorn, Dutty Wine
This is one of those songs that I forget that I’m obsessed with until it comes on and I start losing my mind. Kinda like I’m losing my mind right now. Like I said, anybody not standing up or at least sitting down and gyrating the EFF out of their hips, we are not even cool right now. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Back it up/Back it up/Back it up…
2. Beenie Man, Dude featuring Ms. Thing and Shawna
If you think this is the only Beenie Man song on the list, you’ve lost your damn mind. But we’re gonna start with this one, ’cause y’all are not ready for King Of The Dancehall yet. Let’s pace ourselves here, lmao! Um, about these lyrics. Yes. I identify. I DO want a dude with the wickedest slam. And I DO want a dude who will do me in his van… what?! OMG, and can we please bring Shawna back?! WTF?!
3. Bob Marley, Stir It Up
Okay, you’re allowed to stop dutty wining for a second… or at least modify it a little bit so that it’s appropriate for this song. I don’t really know what else to say about this other than maybe… Bow down? Oh, and I also agree with the person on YouTube who wrote, ‘I think Bob Marley’s videos shouldn’t have dislike button.‘ Seriously.
4. Admiral Bailey, Gimme Punanny
Yes, we are going to listen to Gimme Punanny after listening to Bob Marley. Judge me if you will, but this is what it is. Mad shouts-out to PITNBr Emily (she really did put together this whole thing) because I had completely forgotten about this horribly dirty song that I hope to never hear my sons singing ever. In life. Ever. But yeah, no. I love it!
5. Sister Nancy, Bam Bam
Uh, yeah. I first heard this song when I was watching Belly. You gonna judge me? Or are you gonna just enjoy the most perfect song in the history of music? And yes, I also always thought she was saying ‘What a bum bum.’ Ridiculous.
Don’t even bother clicking over to the next page for more. You’re. Not. Ready. Don’t even do it to yourself. Listen to Bam Bam a few more times and just, like, mentally prepare yourself or something.
6. Mr. Vegas, Hot Wuk
I was actually looking for the Heads High video when this happened. Okay. Here’s the thing about the women in this video. Don’t do it. Don’t try to do it! Don’t mess with the women who INVENTED what we today call ‘twerking.’ Like, invented it. Because they do it in their kitchens. Sometimes on their heads. No. Do you understand? She is twerking AKA wining on her head? Okay, no:
I told y’all not to click over to this page. You’re not ready. And this song is everything. ‘Gyal ah ring off mi celly,’ indeed. LMAO, that’s my part! Shouts-out to my bff Michelle. Remember watching this video 17 times a row at your Mom’s house? Sigh. That was a good day.
Oh, well we gotta get this one in here:
7. Althea & Donna, Uptown Top Ranking
OMG, PITNBr Emily– you are putting me ON with these songs! I honestly hadn’t heard this until I saw it on the list Emily sent me. It may be from 1977, but this is the new jam for me. And I love that title! Agh!
8. Lady Saw, I’ve Got Your Man
I don’t care if the message of this song is, like, ridiculous. Lady Saw is my effing hero and y’all all need to bow down! Plus, this is totally my song for Beyoncé. What? Yeah, no. It is. Don’t make no sense you even call him and try to work out it, Bey! LMAO.
But seriously, we need the remix with Remy Ma. Nobody talk to me:
9. Lady Saw, Stab Out The Meat
Um. Did you hear me say Lady Saw is my hero? Okay. Because she is. Shouts-out to my bff in college who was from Trinidad and had to explain to me what, exactly, stab out the meat meant. I will never repeat what she said, because this is a family blog (LMAO), but if you’re confused just check out the lyrics to Stab Out The Meat HERE. And if you’re still confused. Fine. It’s about f—ing. And it’s amazing. This is a reggae post y’all! If you want an American love song, you’re gonna have to go back to Mariah Carey‘s Throwback Thursday, Bwahahahah! Nobody talk to me!
UPDATE: I thought I was obsessed with Stab Out The Meat and then I read this comment on YouTube:
this was the first song played at my wedding.
10. Beenie Man, King Of The Dancehall
Okay. Now that we’ve heard from Lady Saw, maybe now we’re ready for some King Of The Dancehall. Maybe. But probably not. Sidenote: my favorite line? This face?/This is no sittin’ place. LMAO! OMG, yes. And I know you wanna hear Girls Dem Sugar, but I already put it on another Throwback Thursday post, and I’m trying not to be too repetitive. Check it out HERE.
Yes, Sean Paul is coming…
11. Shaggy, Boombastic
Are y’all ready to take it back to the fifth grade? No, I know you’re not. OMG, I can lit’rally see myself at that ridiculous ‘end of the school year’ party dancing with… hmmm… who was it? Lucas. Brazilian kid who I refuse to friend on Facebook ’cause I was OBSESSED with him for a good 2 years, LMAO! Finally wifed him up in the 7th grade… omg why are we talking about this right now? Anyway, Boombastic was that shizz! You do realize that my Mom bought me Shaggy‘s entire album and I would just sit there with the little insert that had all the lyrics on it, losing my mind, right? Okay, yeah. Thanks Mom. And shouts-out to Lucas, lmao. He totally had that Shaggy-esque curly hair. Sigh. What?
Oh, and PITNBr Emily– you’re right. We gotta include this one:
12. Rihanna, Pon De Replay
OMG!!! It’s Throwback Rihanna! Remember when she was, just like, a little pop/reggae star from Barbados? OMG. She still is… just… bigger. And pop-er. But today we celebrate the music that lit’rally put her on. Dude, she has pigtails in this video… LMAO. I love it!
13. Bob Marley, Natural Mystic
I agree. It’s been far too long since our last Bob Marley song.
Wait, one more:
14. Sean Paul, Like Glue
OMG, how have we not had a Sean Paul song yet? This list is so out of control. Like Glue is one of my FAVES. And I love that they’re listening to Beenie Man at the begininning. Shouts-out! Oh, you can get your ‘signal de plane’ on at 2:33. F-ck yeah.
You do realize that my entire senior class danced to this at our final talent show. Okay good. I Just wanted you to know that I actually know (okay, knew) every single dance move in this video. Shouts-out to Cleveland School of the Arts, class of ’03:
15. Mad Cobra, Flex (Time To Have Sex)
For the record, I did not make a playlist in college that consisted ONLY of this song, which I would then just go ahead and put on ‘repeat.’ I did not do that with this song. And I also did not get pregnant in college.
16. Buju Banton
Please, nobody talk. It’s Buju. Oh, and this one’s for Emily:
17. Mavado featuring Stacious, Come Into My Room
I just got lost in a vortex and found Mavado. It’s a good thing.
18. Marcia Griffiths, You Don’t Love Me (No No No)
Epic. That’s all I can say. Friggen epic.
19. Shyne featuring Barrington Levy, Bad Boyz
I know this is Shyne‘s song, but really? Barrington Levy made this the shizz!
P.S. Remember Shyne? He’s Jewish now, I believe.
Wait, we need one more from Barrington:
20. Terror Fabulous featuring Nadine Sutherland, Action
I was, like, 8 when this dropped… and I was eternally in love. Sigh. And MAJOR shouts-out to PITNBr samwheat for dropping supreme Throwback reggae knowledge on me :)
Okay, so here’s who you can expect on Part Two of Throwback Thursday‘s reggae edition, coming next week: Peter Tosh, Ziggy Marley, probably more Beenie Man, Sizzla, this insane DMX/Sean Paul /Mr. Vegas song that y’all are not ready for, Spragga Benz, Jimmy Cliff, UB40, Luciano and many, many others.
OMG. I’m sorry. This one can’t wait for next week. Nobody talk to me.
Serani, No Games:
I know, I know. I’m exhausted too. It’s a good thing.
But here’s one more Throwback for y’all. This is me (and my Throwback abs) circa 2007 at the eternally epic NYC West Indian Day Parade. I’m holding a real, live, ginormous snake and a Trini flag. If you show my kids this pic, I will NEVER speak to you again. Please enjoy responsibly:
You see the Throwback abs? Okay, I just wanted to make sure you saw them. Thanks.