Y’all may have noticed that I had to skip Throwback Thursday last week and this is why. This list is the reason why. I knew it was time to finally do the Throwback reggae post I’d been working on with PITNBr Emily (who used to be a reggae DJ, and who now makes fancy purses… because she is awesome), and I knew once I started working on it, it would dominate my entire life/day. And it has. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to make your two children lunch while trying to dutty wine to Mr. Vegas’s Hot Wuk? Actually, it’s not hard at all. It’s effing awesome. But then after lunch I had to bring my laptop to the bathroom ’cause I couldn’t hear Beenie Man while I was in there flat-ironing my hair, and it was just total madness trying not to burn myself or knock my two-year old in the face with my booty while I tried to get ready. LMAO, omg this list is the best, I’m sorry. It just is. And if any of you DARE listen to these songs while, like, sitting still OMG do NOT talk to me! My son’s on my lap and I’m lit’rally rocking him to sleep listening to song number 5. Yeah, you better effing click inside so you can figure out what song number 5 is. Hint: It is EVERYTHING.
1. Tony Matterhorn, Dutty Wine
This is one of those songs that I forget that I’m obsessed with until it comes on and I start losing my mind. Kinda like I’m losing my mind right now. Like I said, anybody not standing up or at least sitting down and gyrating the EFF out of their hips, we are not even cool right now. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Back it up/Back it up/Back it up…
2. Beenie Man, Dude featuring Ms. Thing and Shawna
If you think this is the only Beenie Man song on the list, you’ve lost your damn mind. But we’re gonna start with this one, ’cause y’all are not ready for King Of The Dancehall yet. Let’s pace ourselves here, lmao! Um, about these lyrics. Yes. I identify. I DO want a dude with the wickedest slam. And I DO want a dude who will do me in his van… what?! OMG, and can we please bring Shawna back?! WTF?!
3. Bob Marley, Stir It Up
Okay, you’re allowed to stop dutty wining for a second… or at least modify it a little bit so that it’s appropriate for this song. I don’t really know what else to say about this other than maybe… Bow down? Oh, and I also agree with the person on YouTube who wrote, ‘I think Bob Marley’s videos shouldn’t have dislike button.‘ Seriously.
4. Admiral Bailey, Gimme Punanny
Yes, we are going to listen to Gimme Punanny after listening to Bob Marley. Judge me if you will, but this is what it is. Mad shouts-out to PITNBr Emily (she really did put together this whole thing) because I had completely forgotten about this horribly dirty song that I hope to never hear my sons singing ever. In life. Ever. But yeah, no. I love it!
5. Sister Nancy, Bam Bam
Uh, yeah. I first heard this song when I was watching Belly. You gonna judge me? Or are you gonna just enjoy the most perfect song in the history of music? And yes, I also always thought she was saying ‘What a bum bum.’ Ridiculous.
Don’t even bother clicking over to the next page for more. You’re. Not. Ready. Don’t even do it to yourself. Listen to Bam Bam a few more times and just, like, mentally prepare yourself or something.