Today, we are going to have a short but sweet Throwback Thursday. It’s 4/4 y’all! And it’s a happy day for the ones they call Mr. and Mrs. Carter… but for me it’s always a difficult time of the year. I’ll never forget the first time I started hearing rumors about Bey and Jay. I didn’t wanna believe it… I couldn’t believe it. Was my Jay-Z really, truly creeping around with another woman? I’m not gonna lie, it was the worst! And then they started doing these songs together, and I was all like. No. I’m not supporting this. But then the songs were, like, good. And it was awkward. And then we started seeing, like, pictures of them… looking so. Effing. Happy. Together. And it was like, okay. Fine. Whatever. If he’s happy with her then fine. And, ya know, I had to move on. But because of my lurve for Jigga man, I don’t think I’ll ever be fully, 100% comfortable with his decision [to leave me for Beyoncé, when I can totally do the exact same dance moves, but maybe just like not as fast, or whatever]. However, I am willing to put aside some of that old heartbreak that still creeps up on their anniversary date, and celebrate the good music that their blessed union has created. Click inside to celebrate the fifth anniversary of Mr. And Mrs. Carter with five of their best collaborations!
1. Mrs. Carter feat. Mr. Carter, Upgrade U
Now what you’re not gonna get me to do is talk about that one time we celebrated my bff’s 22nd birthday in my apartment in uptown Manhattan, and I spent 20-35 minutes giving her a lap dance whilst this song remained on repeat. You’re not gonna get me to talk about that because I’m a Mom now and Moms don’t give lap dances. Moving on. This song is everything. Beyoncé comparing herself to the civil rights movement/Martin Luther King, Jr. in the second verse is everything. And Beyoncé in Jay-Z drag is everything. But when Jay pops up (finally) at the end? Sigh. Happy 4/4 y’all.
2. Mr. Carter feat. Mrs. Carter, ’03 Bonnie And Clyde
LMAO. This is the most awkward Throwback Thursday ever! I’m realizing that every single one of these videos used to infuriate me! Agh! Beyoncé‘s Throwback abs?! Which look suspiciously like her current abs?! OMG, she is the worst! And they are so effing cute in this video, I just wanna diiiiiiiiieeeeee. LMAO. OMG, I really have to focus on the music because the reality of this relationship is still… so… painful to me.
3. Mr. Carter and Kanye West, feat. Mrs. Carter
Sometimes Mr. and Mrs. Carter just, like, hang out with Kanye West and make awesome songs together. Ya know. Just like other every day, run of the mill, married couples. LMAO. I love this song.
4. Mr. Carter feat. Mrs. Carter, Pray
Okay, do you know what was so effing annoying about the American Gangster album? Nothing. It’s a perfect album, I know. But still… Jay-Z actually came out and lied his ass off, talking about Beyoncé wasn’t on the album. Bullshizz. Like, he legit doesn’t credit her on the album… so technically she’s not on the album. And… I’m not gonna lie… because I was obsessed with him when I heard him say she wasn’t on there I was like OMG yes! He’s sooo over her! But yeah, no. Then I actually bought the album. And listened to it. And she’s definitely on this song. And therefore, on the album. He’s so obsessed with her! Annoying. Happy 4/4.
5. Mrs. Carter feat. Mr. Carter, Crazy In Love
Didn’t you love seeing Crazy In Love Beyoncé in her new Pepsi commercial? Isn’t she, really, your favorite Beyoncé? Or at least, the most unforgettable Beyoncé because this was when she became Beyoncé? Anyway, now she’s Mrs. Carter and that’s awesome. Totally awesome. For her. Congrats, Bey. I mean, Mrs. Carter. You did it.
You stole my man. And I want to wish you and your husband a very, happy fifth anniversary, with hopes of many more to come. Anyway, this song is still ridiculous and I still can’t listen to it without seeing every girl in high school (myself included… mainly myself) doing the Uh-Oh dance. Madness!
Okay, wait. I gotta include my absolute favorite picture of these two. I knew the relationship was real when I saw Bey giving Jay that ‘what the hell is wrong with you/you’re such a dork/loveyoulongtime‘ look that you can only give someone when it’s real: