Here Are The Top 5 ‘Oh Hell Nawl’ Moments From ‘Union,’ Last Night’s Episode Of ‘Revenge’

Season 2, Episode 13

So, it’s been for-e-verrr since we last had a Revenge recap, right?! Granted, we’ve had Scandal to keep us hella busy but I definitely missed all our friends and frenemies in the Hamptons. Last night, after watching the Grammys I watched Revenge and I thought the season came back with a really strong episode. And after all the ish that went down, I’m lit’rally gonna be losing my mind a bit until next week. ‘Cause I gotsta know what happens next! Click inside so we can recap this business!


 

So this episode picked up right where last week’s dropped off. I think one thing that surprised me was that we actually, totally saw ‘Amanda‘ and Jack get married! I don’t think I really believed that the wedding was really gonna go down without a hitch, but it did. The honeymoon… well, that’s a horse of a different color.

Another huge event took place in this episode, when Aiden discovered that his sister Colleen really was dead, but had been for many years. The Initiative definitely played him (as they are wont to do) and he kinda lost it for a second. I actually liked seeing him flip out because it’s a nice contrast to ‘Emily‘ who almost always seems to keep it moving.
 


 

By the end of the episode he had pretty much come back to his senses (and to his ‘Emily‘) and he was, like, standing on a cliff to show his undying love for her, lol. But that was probably a good look for ‘Em,’ since Daniel also ended their fake-up in this episode.

Union also brought more drama for The Stowaway and, thus, for poor ol’ married Jack. I was glad to see that ‘Amanda‘ and ‘Emily‘ teamed up to get Conrad the eff away from the bar, although ‘Amanda‘ def did some extra ish that ‘Emily‘ still doesn’t know about. It’ll be interesting to see how that situation pans out (assuming ‘Amanda‘ is even alive in the next episode) in the end. Lots of other Revenge-y stuff went down, so let’s get to it!

Top 5 ‘Oh Hell Nawl’ Moments From ABC’s Revenge
Season 2, Episode 13: Union

1. That Awkward Moment When Someone Else Kinda, Sorta Marries Your Man


 

Okay, so Jack and Fauxmanda got hitched and it was totally awkward. One thing I’ve said before about the show is that sometimes this weird thing happens where Jack and ‘Amanda‘ come off like a normal couple and it’s annoying, because he legit doesn’t know who she is! But many of the flashback scenes in this episode show showed Jack getting ‘married’ to the real Amanda Clarke when they were kids, and it made things hella awkward for ‘Emily‘ throughout this episode. Even though she tried to hide it, you could tell that it was killlling her to watch these two tie the knot. I liked that this episode sorta focused on the weirdness of Jack getting married to someone who really is a complete stranger. And when ‘Em‘ handed Fauxmanda Jack‘s childhood wedding band, I was like Oh Hell Nawl! I thought that was her way of sort of implicating herself in the whole event, which was weird… but also understandable.

Quote It: All that matters is that he’s happy (‘Emily‘ lying her ass off about her feelings on the wedding)
 

2. Ashley Smashley Forgets Everything She Must Have Read In The Side-Chic Manual, Goes IN On Victoria, And It’s Awesome


 

Okay, this wasn’t a huge moment, but it was my absolute favorite! Y’all know I love me some Ashley Smashley, and there was this tiny moment when Victoria came into Conrad‘s office to discuss The Initiative‘s involvement with Daniel (and to ask him for those documents that would prove to Daniel that they were the root of all evil) and Ashley was so damn rude! She walks around the Grayson manor like she never slept with nobody’s husband, lmao! I love it, mainly because it’s Victoria and she kinda deserves it. I’m guessing Ashley doesn’t give an eff about the side-chic rules because the way she came at Victoria, you’d think she was the one who got done grimey. Although, in all fairness, Vicki took advantage of her plenty as well.

Quote It: Victoria, do you mind? We’re actually in the middle of things. (Smashley)
And fully clothed! How refreshing. (Victoria)
 

3. Nolan Handles The Padma Situation On His Own, Since ‘Emily‘ Was Being A Total Beeyotch About It


 

OMG, did y’all catch that moment where Nolan and ‘Emily‘ were trying to find Aiden (who was on the prowl for Colleen and/or Colleen‘s killers) and ‘Emilytotally brushed off Nolan‘s suggestion that maybe Padma was not completely evil, just indebted to The Initiative? ‘Em‘ was like, yeah no, I don’t care. This is about me and my boo; deal with your ish on your own time… even though I already got you dealing with MY ish on your own time. LMAO! She is so wrong sometimes! But I was glad that Nolan went against her suggestion and went with his gut instead. Now we know The Initiative has Padma doing dirt so she can save her father. We’ll have to see what’s gonna go down now that Nolan knows; and seeing as how The Initiative appears to be everywhere, I’m a little worried that they already know Padma‘s talking.

Quote It: Careful who you’re calling black, little kettle. (Nolan to Padma)
 

4. Now Victoria Grayson Is Gonna Have To Kill A Bitch


 

Yo, what is going on?! If you watched Scandal last week, this is clearly the week of the kill! We all knew Vicki had it in her, but I was still shocked when she DUNZOd Helen. OMG, she was on her Mama Lion ish in this episode, lol. And since she killed Helen to keep Daniel safe, ish is about to get really real. I loved how she handled her phone call to Daniel and got him safely out of his office, but who knows what’s gonna pop off now?! She killed The Initiative!


 

Quote It: You monster. (Victoria)
Takes one to know one. (Helen)

Oh, and I also liked the part where Helen said ‘Victoria, you wept for 20 years over a man you betrayed. I hardly think you have it in you to kill a person in cold blood.‘ I mean, yeah, that’s when Vicki shot her, so I guess Helen was wrong. But it was also one of those rare reminders that Victoria– at some point in time– had a heart.
 

5. Really, Why Are The Ryan Brothers Still Around When All They Do Is Destroy Things?!?!?


 

So, Jack being the ridiculously amazing sweetheart hubby that he is took Fauxmanda out on a homemade cruise for their honeymoon. And that douchebag Ryan brother who just won’t quit naturally had to pop up and start cutting wires on that boat. I swear, I was sooo happy when Amanda showed ConradEmily‘s computer footage, because I thought he was finally gonna back the eff up! But this brother won’t stop! And I have this really bad feeling that something’s gonna happen to Jack next week. And I just cannot.

Quote It: He’s got more money than God. (Jack, speaking accurately about Conrad Grayson)

Sidenote: Can we talk about the fact that Nolan is, apparently, an ordained minister? WTF? I love it.

Can’t wait to hear what you guys thought of the episode. And what about Daniel and ‘Emily‘? She is so back-and-forth with these guys, lol! I don’t know who she’s gonna end up with, but Daniel seemed pretty bummed to be ending things again… and so did she. Dra-mahhh!

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  1. Whit

    Shannon,

    I’ve been waiting for this recap! I literally finished watching and said Ooh the recap will be funny. I caught that Nolan bit as well but I guess he has many talents.

    I felt so bad for Eamanda, she looked so hurt at the wedding. And the moment she handed the ring to Fauxmanda, and fauxmanda looked confused I half thought she might call the wedding off, she didn’t. Bitch.

    I wonder what role Aiden will play now, I still don’t trust him. But his sole motivation was his sister which is now gone.

  2. my favorite moment had to be when Emily was explaining that she does hurt & does care. it was such a real moment for her.

    • This is why we ultimately root for her. And this is also why I think she needs Aiden around… because she only seems to open up with him. She needs this.

  3. First of all: two weeks in Revenge or Scandal years = like a million real years.

    FANTASTIC episode. I definitely wonder if Padma is still up to something or if she’s linked to Marco somehow. You can’t trust anyone on this show.

    I so didn’t want Daniel and Ems to end their fake-mance. I like the two of them together.

    Love Emily’s moment with Aiden in the cemetery. Emily Van Camp did a fantastic job there. Like Nicole said, a very ‘real’ moment for the character.

    The pipe cleaner ring: my heart!! Such a cute moment that made Jack so happy so clearly is made Emily kinda sorta happy. Although I don’t know why she’s still pining after him. I see Emily and Jack being amazing childhood friends, not lifetime lovers.

    Shannon, I love me some Ashley so I LOVED that little exchange between her and Victoria.

    Even though it’s not surprising from Victoria, I loved how fast the gunshot was. I expected Victoria to be holding the gun and for the moment to be dragged out but it surprised me how fast Victoria shot her.

    One of my top moments of the night: when Victoria just stepped over/around Helen’s body to get a refill on her drink while talking to Daniel haha.

    Loved Amanda showing her feisty side again. Although can we talk about Emily’s really simply password: infinity?! Really?! That ish is too important to have a one word password!

    Nolan as an ordained mister = Joey from Friends being an ordained minster.

    Can’t wait for next week; that ish is gonna be BANANAS (shout to Gwen Stefani for helping me spell that!)

  4. My husband was laughing at Nolan being ordained too… “millionaire playboy by day, performing weddings by night”

    I think Amanda is a goner. The whole episode seemed to be pointing towards her death, plus her being out of the picture might mean it is one step closer to the truth about who Amanda really is.

    I thought it was utterly ridiculous that Victoria went to Daniels office to tell him the truth. Of course the initiative had a wire in there! Has she learned nothing! She played it smart at the end, but geez these people are fools. Even Amanda spilling everything to Conrad….what did she think was going to happen!

  5. Nicole

    Yeah, I think Fauxmanda is dunzo which of course is interesting since Jack technically married emily even if both of them (Jack and Fauxmanda) make it out of the boat alive.
    I think Nolan mentioned being ordained via the internet, right?

  6. I’m so happy with this show basically because I keep BEING RIGHT! Ha, I’m being silly. Forgive me. I’m glad Aiden is around. I’m glad Emily didn’t got anyone killed. I’m glad Nolan’s spider senses saved Padma’s dad from certain death due to Emily’s previous advice. Phew, all those were close calls. And for the record, I’m still Team Aiden. Team Aiden forever. (I also love that Aiden and Nolan keep getting closer. )

    Jack’s wedding was very touching. I feel for Emily. I don’t think she loves Jack that way anymore, but he represents so much the life she could have had people not ruin her life. In that sense, I got all sorts of sentimental. *sniff* Poor Jack, he is going to be so mad when he finds out the truth. I think he might join the dark side, FOR ONCE, when he does. Bless his heart. Also, Amanda MUST NOT keep doing stuff without consulting Emily! It never ends well. What the hell is about to happen on that boat. Death to the crazy, sleazy, Ryan brother!

    And go, Victoria! That was an epic gun shot because of the preluding quote! WIN. You know, for a second there, I thought that the only way to take down the Initiative is going to be for Emily and The Graysons to work together. I don’t know if Emily could ever play nice with them, though…

    Shannon, you can get ordain over the internet. (I have thought about it myself…lol!)

    • Karen

      I felt similarly about the wedding. I was thinking that Jack and Amanda represent Emily’s past and the road not taken (not that she had a choice in the matter). Having Amanda marry Jack almost helps Emily remain connected to her formerly sweet little girl self. Bittersweet for sure.

      She’s not that girl anymore, so Aiden is more right for her. I can’t really picture Jack coping with the magnitude of Emily’s pain and anger. And I don’t think she would want to destroy his innocence — she knows how much that sucks.

    • Your comment got me all sentimental again, Karen. *sniff* Perfectly worded.

  7. Ughhhhh. I am never able to watch Revenge on time so I never get to have fun in these posts with you all!! I will watch last night’s episode as soon as I can so I can maybe come late to the party!

  8. Devonte

    I LITRAHLEE screamed “KILL THAT BITCH VICKI!”..and she did…and all was right in my world…

  9. Does anyone else feel like Emily’s infinity box is like Mary Poppins’ bottomless carpetbag?

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