Ryan Lochte Recreates Nirvana’s ‘Nevermind’ Album Cover For ‘ESPN The Magazine’


ESPN The Magazine rounded up a bunch of sports stars for a photoshoot where each athlete recreates an iconic album cover. Ryan Lochte, swimmer, was chosen to recreate the album cover for Nirvana’s 1991 album Nevermind. As you can see below in a side-by-side comparison, Lochte manages to look like the Nevermind baby floating in water … but it’s the interview excerpts that really show that Lochte possibly has the same IQ of the baby in question. The guy is pretty … but dumb as rocks, y’all. Click below to see Ryan Lochte as the Nevermind baby and read what the rocket scientist has to say about the shoot.

Ryan Lochte will recreate Nirvana’s iconic Nevermind cover for ESPN The Magazine’s upcoming music issue. It will feature the same blank stare and dangling dollar bill, but feature a Speedo-wearing grown man instead of a naked baby. And instead of generation-defining music, the inside will feature advertisements for Red Bull. Lochte’s cover comes out this week, but ESPN has released a preview in which the gold-medal swimmer says the following things:

– “Iconic Nirc-vana”
— “The cover is definitely global, brah.”
— “If you look at the baby, he’s definitely happy in the water. And that’s what I am.”
— “He’s chasing after a dollar bill. So he’s always on the grind.”
— “Trying to perfect the perfect the shot in the water was kinda easy for me. Just because I spend about four hours a day, every day of my life, in the water.”
— “Usually when I go swimming, I have goggles on. So when I didn’t have my goggles on for this shoot my eyes were definitely burning.”
— [Blinks five times in two seconds] “Am I blinking a lot, cause I feel like it.”
— “Hopefully everyone’s reaction when they see it, they’ll be like, daang, look at that guy. I honestly think I nailed the shot.”

LMAOOOOO!!! My god, this man is brainless. I can’t … I really cannot. I know it sounds shitty to say but Ryan Lochte is deffo the kind of person that is better seen and NEVER heard. Lord, it’s mind-numbing. Still, he is a decent swimmer and he kinda nails this shot (daang, look at that guy) … tho, it would’ve been truly authentic if he would’ve been brave enough to pose completely nekkid like this brave little baby did for the album cover. I have to say, I give Lochte 8 out of 10 for the photo (deducting 2 points for no penis) and -98 out of 10 for the interview (a score that could go down considerably once the entire text of his interview is made available). So … what do y’all think?


  • ClaireMichelle

    He is a complete idiot. But I totally laughed out loud at some of those quotes. So at least he makes me laugh? And my god, he is so beautiful.

  • superjosh

    Ugh, that was way harsh, Tai.

    Obviously he’s not the sharpest tool(!), but the interview is about the photo shoot so taken out of context it sounds worse than it actually is. Lighten up a little!

    • @superjosh — Um … http://youtu.be/6dlyCTswYH0

    • ClaireMichelle

      I can’t stop laughing and feeling second hand embarrassment when I listen to Ryan speaks.

  • Kelly

    Ha! You’re post reminded me of the 30 Rock episode he’s on where they have him as Jack’s girlfriend’s sex idiot.

  • nicole

    i’ll never understand why people let him talk..

  • MJ

    OMG, he’s such a himbo, brah! Like, jeah!

  • janaegal

    I get uncomfortable when I hear him talking because I feel like I’m listening to an SNL skit that’s gone on far too long.

    • emily

      Jenaegal FTW!

  • kendra

    Too many words..Not enough weenis..

  • Lauren xx

    Sorry, I can NOT accept this recreation, it’s just not accurate. If we are really going to pay homage to this iconic work of album art, Ryan Lochte should be naked. Period. ;)