Beyoncé Opens Up About Her Miscarriage In Her Upcoming HBO Documentary

'It was the saddest thing I've ever been through'

Yes, we are living in the time of Beyoncé, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. This month the Queen Bey‘s HBO documentary airs, and I’d be lying my arse off if I said I wasn’t interested in checking it out. One thing I think a lot of us are hoping  for is for Beyoncé to maybe open up a bit and share some personal stuff; apparently she’s going to do just that. According to Us MagazineBeyoncé has opened up about the miscarriage she suffered prior to bringing little Blue Ivy into the world. Click inside to learn more.

Us Magazine has the story:

She’s now the ecstatic mother to daughter Blue Ivy Carter, nearly 13 months, but Beyonce dealt with the ultimate maternal anguish before that famous pregnancy: A miscarriage. Last year, the 31-year-old singer’s husband Jay-Z briefly referenced the tragedy in “Glory,” the rap track recorded within days of Blue’s Jan. 7 birth, but Beyonce hasn’t ever discussed the loss.

In a surprising moment of candor, she opens up for the first time about the incident and its aftermath in Life Is But a Dream, her new documentary debuting on HBO in February. “About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time,” the Grammy winner says in one scene. “And I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life.”

She and Jay-Z (they wed in April 2008) were naturally overjoyed about their baby-to-be. “I picked out names,” Beyonce recalls. “I envisioned what my child would look like . . . I was feeling very maternal.”

But something went wrong in the early stages, the “Love on Top” singer reveals. “I flew back to New York to get my check up — and no heartbeat,” she says. “Literally the week before I went to the doctor, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat.”

The superstar (who will perform at the Super Bowl Half Time show this Sunday, Feb. 3) dealt with the heartache the best way she knew how: Through music.

“I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I’ve ever written in my life,” she says, although she doesn’t name the track. “And it was actually the first song I wrote for my album. And it was the best form of therapy for me, because it was the saddest thing I’ve ever been through.”

All of which made her successful pregnancy with Blue Ivy all the more exciting and joyful. “Being pregnant was very much like falling in love,” she muse. “You are so open. You are so overjoyed. There’s no words that can express having a baby growing inside of you, so of course you want to scream it out and tell everyone.”

As we all remember, Bey was eventually able to share her joy with everyone, and Blue Ivy is seriously one of the coolest babies to happen in pop culture.

It’s nice knowing that Beyoncé is opening up, although I certainly wouldn’t ask anyone to talk about this particular kind of experience. I also wouldn’t dare comment on how this experience struck Bey, it’s just weird that she still sounds so… robotic… in her responses. Or is it just me? Again, I’m in no position to tell her (or anyone else) how to describe this experience but…  ’it was the saddest thing I’ve ever been through‘ and ‘I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I’ve ever written in my life‘??? I dunno, just sounds kinda weird to me.

All that being said, if Beyoncé opening up about her experience is helpful to anyone in any way, then I’m all for it. What do you guys think?

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  1. Mark

    The responses did seem a bit formulated. That was my biggest fear when I realized this doc was being directed by her. I would love to see a third party get in there and make something less filtered like the Joan Rivers or Conan O’Brian doc. We’ve seen her talk about her life story many times already so I really hope this isn’t a retread.

  2. I would think that with a miscarriage, that you would have to work out your feelings and think through your thoughts about it for quite a while before you could articulate them to others without sobbing. I have seen similar reactions with people who lost loved ones in tragic ways…they get to kind of a place of acceptance and tolerance to the pain, and sound a bit monotone when they talk about it. If they give into the emotion, it will overwhelm and prevent them from moving on.

  3. sfmom

    From where I stand…the experience of losing a baby at any stage during pregnancy is hard to process. Period. You have naming and envisioning and hopefulness and then it’s just gone one day before you ever get to touch that tiny human on whom you were pinning all those hopes and dreams…it’s horrible. There’s no telling how it’s going to work itself out in terms of grief. Some women get angry, some women get depressed, some women through it all into art or music or whatever their outlet of choice is…
    To me, the reason why her talk about the miscarriage doesn’t ring true is because…she’s moved on in her life. It was a horrible, painful thing that she went through with her husband, and they have had some healing and welcomed a sweet, healthy baby into the world since…she sounds removed from it because she is. Miscarriages are world-shattering losses, but most women heal from that loss over time and especially with the addition of a new baby…It sounds callous because a person who hasn’t been through it couldn’t really understand…

    I can’t really judge her on this one…It’s such a sad, hopeless-feeling experience, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
    I just wish in general she would sort of diminish because I’m a little weary of Bey fever.

    • jenn

      I have been reading comments from people saying that she might be using this as a publicity stunt but I can’t see a woman making something like this up for attention..That’s just low.

      I unfortunately suffered a miscarriage last spring and it was one of the most painful (physically and emotionally) thing I have ever experienced..luckily though I am blessed again with the opportunity to be carrying our second child and I couldn’t be happier. It was so hard to get over and a part of me isn’t over it yet.

    • @jenn — <3 <3

    • sfmom

      Jenn – I’m so sorry you went through that. :( Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope you have a wonderful, vibrant pregnancy and an easy birth!
      Best wishes.

  4. I love me some Queen B, but I hope her exposure is toned down a little after the Super B(owl). It’s not because I don’t love her, but there is a risk the over-exposure will give people the same feeling about her that they might have on a morning when they first wake up and see last night’s now cold meal which was left out on the kitchen counter. Too much of a even a good thing and people will start wanting something else. Giving it to them in little bites will keep them coming back for their fix.

    • @rOXy — “I hope her exposure is toned down a little after the Super B(owl).”

      Unfortch, I wouldn’t count on it … she’s supposed to make a huge announcement just after. She’s prolly gonna announce a new tour with her new album. Plus she has that documentary coming out, her next fragrance and a fashion line with H&M … and these are the things that have only been announced — and 2013 is only a month old! I think we’ve only seen the tip of the iceberg.

    • Well, then maybe in 2014? After everyone has had their fill? lol

    • @rOXy — We can hope ;)

  5. Michelle

    We are also just reading words on a page. Perhaps it doesn’t sound ‘robotic’ when you actually hear and see her talking about it. I don’t see how she can be judged on a quote without the full context.

    • Michelle, if it were any other artist I probably wouldn’t have noticed but I’ve never successfully connected with Beyonce through any of her interviews. She just never sounds completely authentic to me; I say that about all her interviews, it just sucked to say about this one, given the content.

      As far as judging someone ‘on a quote without the full context,’ well, that’s all we can ever do in these situations. Usually with celebs we’re reading their words on a page and that’s all we have to go on. I agree that sometimes it’s not enough.

    • YES! If this is true, which is more than likely is, than I’m sure she was devastated. However, something about Beyonce has always seems not completely genuine to me. She seems like a dream pop star with perfect answers that some management company dreamt up. I enjoy her music and performances, but I’ve never connected to HER>

    • And I also think it’s important to note…not every one deals with painful things in the same way. Some people don’t have a huge range of emotions, that doesn’t make their experience any less valid. I don’t think it’s insensitive to say that her response appears robotic. It does. That doesn’t mean her experience with miscarriage wasn’t painful for her.

  6. AnonXYZ

    I can personally tell you a miscarriage is an incredibly depressing and traumatic experience, and I empathize with women who feel numbed out and don’t have words to articulate what’s going on inside. After two months, my husband and I were ready to share the sad news with a small group of family and friends, but even after the announcement, I still didn’t want to talk about it. There are some things that words just can’t adequately describe.

  7. Jessica

    Miscarriage is something people don’t tak bout and so many people go through. It’s suffering in silence and. I’m hoping over the next few years that will start to change!

  8. JEM

    She needs to be more real with her fans. Her answers are normally very PR like. I like how Rihanna keeps it real.

    I think that’s why Bey’s trying to be more open now..

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