A New Lohan Is Born! Michael Lohan Has Spawned Again

Dear Lord, Help Us All

Last Summer we learned the horrid news that deadbeat dad Michael Lohan broke the law by defying a restraining order against him to get his then-estranged ex-girlfriend Kate Major pregnant. Apparently the act of putting a baby inside her softened her heart because the couple reconciled shortly thereafter. In October, we learned that Lohan and Major were expecting the birth of a baby boy. Today, we learn that that child was brought forth into the world yesterday. Hark, a new Lohan has been born … Heaven help us all.

Big day for Michael Lohan … his daughter escaped jail … and his fiancee just gave birth to a BOUNCING BABY BOY!!! While Lindsay was sweatin’ it out in court, Kate Major went into labor at a Florida hospital. We’re told Kate gave birth to a son — Landon Major Lohan — at 11:39 AM PT. The baby weighed in at 19 3/4 inches, 7 lbs 5 oz … and is already wanted in 3 states (kidding!). We’re told Michael was with Kate the entire time … and even cut the umbilical cord. A rep for the family tells us baby, Michael and Kate are all doing great. Congrats!!!

OMG … this is horrible to say but Damn, this is not the best news. Michael Lohan is now the father of 6 children (3 boys — Michael Jr., Dakota and now Landon; 3 girls — Lindsay, Aliana and lovechild Ashley) by 3 different women (that we know of) and, I believe, he offers financial support to none of them. So great, right? And yet, look at that happy smiling face the proud father is giving us. It’s really enough to make you want to vomit, ain’t it? I would love to offer congratulations to the newly expanded family but I just cannot … I feel sorry for both mother and child. I also feel sorry for the world … cuz we really don’t need anymore Lohans :(

In related news, yesterday we learned that Lindsay and her trainwreck mother Dina Lohan were having a devil of a time finding a hotel that would house them during their visit to LA. After getting rejected by two hotels in Santa Monica, CA, the lady Lohans finally found a hotel to take pity on them … and Dina couldn’t WAIT to show the world that she and her daughter aren’t homeless:

Lindsay Lohan’s hotel rejection streak is OVER … ’cause she and her mother Dina were finally able to score a room at the legendary Beverly Hills Hotel … TMZ has learned. We broke the story … LiLo and DiLo were turned away from TWO famous hotels in Santa Monica late last night … after they arrived in L.A. for Lindsay’s court hearing. But the search continued … and the Lohan ladies were finally able to find a suite in the Hills of Beverly

LOL. Ok, Dina we get it … you’re living large off your daughter’s infamy … congrats. Just when you think it doesn’t get much sadder than the lowly antics of Lindsay Lohan, her parents have to go and outdo her. AWESOME! Ugh :/

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  1. miguel

    crazy family is still crazy. nothing new here. getting bored with all this Lohan news.

  2. miguel

    + + + I won’t be surprised, if he sells the first pics of the baby for the most money…just sayin!

  3. God save us all..

    And that picture of Dina in front of the sign is disgusting..Giving credit to the BH Hotel for letting them stay when other hotels wouldn’t..Isn’t that embarrassing?? Why praise a hotel for actually letting you stay there instead of keeping a low profile after being REJECTED from other hotels?? No shame in this family..It’s out of control..But nothing new or surprising..

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