Here Are The Top 5 ‘Oh Hell Nawl’ Moments From ‘Lineage,’ Last Night’s Episode Of ‘Revenge’

Season 2, Episode 8: Lineage

We’ve been waiting two whole weeks for this flashback episode of Revenge, and daaaaamn was it worth the wait! Two weeks ago we recapped what I thought was one of the best episodes ever, but I gotta say– this one was crazy awesome too. But what am I saying? This is Revenge! All the episodes are awesome, lol. But this was a special episode because we got so many amazing back stories, so many scary Russian dudes and finally, the Oh Hell Nawl moment we’ve been waiting for since Aiden‘s sexy ass first came on the scene, lmao! Click inside for more!

Now we all lurve Revenge, but we also know this show is sometimes just, like, a series of cliffhangers. Scandal can be like that too, which is awesome… but it was so cool to have a flashback episode so that we could clear some ish up. For example, the Victoria Grayson question (which is basically, Where the funk did this bitch come from?!?!?) has finally, kinda been answered. I mean, meeting Victoria‘s mom was almost as frightening as meeting ‘Emily‘s mom (almost), and I was so pumped to learn more about her younger years. Aiden and ‘Emily‘ were kicking ass all over Russia and it was also really cool to see how those two initially got it on an poppin’. How cute were they together? And how cute was Ashley the hooker… lol. No, actually she was not cute. That ish was cray… but we finally know a little more about her beginnings, which some of us have been wondering about.

This episode also showed a Grayson family that we kinda didn’t recognize. I mean, they were kinda nice to each other, right? Conrad seemed to have Victoria‘s back and they almost seemed like a cool family… until Conrad burned Daniel‘s poems and then it was like okay. That’s the Grayson family I know and lurve/loathe, lmao! Oh, and sidenote– I love the idea of Poet Daniel. OMG (How fierce we were when we were young/when we were unafraid of coming unhinged). Yespleasemorethankyou. Oh, and additional sidenote– I need a fireplace.

Nolan also got a little backstory and we were introduced to his old school boo, who is now coming back into the mix courtesy of Daniel Grayson (which can’t be good since this guy is a lover scorned). Honestly? Nolan‘s 2006 boo was kinda cute!

He looks JUST like my 3rd grade Cape Verdean crush (Carlos Pena– shouts-out) probably looks right now, lmao. And finally, finally, the whole Declan/Jack/bar drama started to make sense! All in all, last night’s episode was a crazy good time. So let’s get to it!

Top 5 ‘Oh Hell Nawl’ Moments From ABC’s Revenge, Season 2, Episode 8: Lineage
1. Victoria Grayson… Has A Mom?!?!

Yo. It NEVER occurred to me that Victoria Grayson even had a mother, lmao! Like, seriously. Before this episode I thought she just sprung up from the depths of hell or something. But she had a Mommy! And because she had a Mommy, she necessarily has Mommy issues, lol. Seriously, Revenge is alll about the Mommy issues nowadays; Freud would be totally into it. I sooo loved meeting Mama Victoria and then experiencing Victoria‘s flashbacks. First of all, how cute was Teenage Victoria?

Too bad she went through all that drama (i.e. Mom’s boyfriends creeping into her bedroom and then also having to help her Mom kill other boyfriends), otherwise she might have been a total sweetheart! But the Victoria we know now–  she clearly gets it from her Mama. ‘It’ being the ‘grimey’ factor, and that crazy desperation to keep up with the Joneses… and to be the Joneses. At first, I couldn’t decide who was the worst (Victoria or her mom) but as the episode came to a close and we found out that she’d set her Mom up with that guy (who was basically a paid actor) for the sole purpose of screwing her over, I was like… oh heeeellllll nawl! That’s it! Victoria is still the Queen of Grime. I mean, that ish was ice cold! And their Thanksgiving dinner was about as awkward as Turkey day at Halle Berry‘s.

Quote It: I have nothing! (Vicki‘s Mom)
But the fur on your back. (Victoria)

2. Why Is Russia Sooo Shady?!

Okay so I totally thought they were in Russia this whole time (shouts-out to PITNBRS Anna and JCZ for the edit), but Russia is still shady as hell and even though they were in NYC, I still need to know what’s up with that. First off, everyone was looking hella skanky, lol! ‘Emily‘ was all slutty-looking, Ashley was an aspiring hooker, with an MFA in Art History?! Madness! I loved this flashback and I loved the bad guys. Everything I know about Russia I learned from that awesome David Cronenberg flick Eastern Promises, and that main dude that Aiden was after (Dmitri) totally reminded me of Viggo Mortensen‘s character, lol! Okay– don’t make fun of my serious lack of exposure to Russian culture– I’m working on it. Anyway, it was a cool back story because now we know that ‘Emily‘ and Ashley have been in cahoots for some time, although we still don’t know how they ended up kickin’ it in the Hamptons. And I think now we have a slightly better context for Aiden and ‘Emily‘s relationship. Even when they first met and they were pretty much strangers, they were both still very protective of each other; it was so cute.

Awww… look at ‘Emily‘ and Aiden taking down the Russian sex traffickers. True lurve:

Quote It: I don’t need friends, I need money (Ashley, upon realizing that a liberal arts education will often leave you weeping in a bathroom, preparing to sell your body to the highest Russian bidder).

3. Oh ISH: Aiden Really Is A Killer

Okay, so remember when Aiden killed the white-haired man and that was a whole big thing? Yeah, no. That was nothin’ compared to what he did to Sergei. OMG! Like, straight popped him! When Aiden starting asking questions about the whereabouts of his sister Colleen, I was like… this is not gonna be good. Something in his eyes told me that he, like, really wanted to kill that dude, lol. And then he did. And I was like, that’s right. Aiden kills people sometimes.

Quote It: If I remember correctly, the girl you call Colleen– she even grew to like it (famous last words from the Russian).

4. FINALLY! The Bar Story Starts To Get Interesting

Okay, we’ve all been waiting for this to happen. Ever since Dumbass Declan started breaking and entering we were all like, okay let’s get on with this– where is this going?! I loved that we finally found out what those two brothers have against Declan and Jack‘s late father. Even though he didn’t actually pull the trigger, I’m sure they see him as responsible for their father’s death. And how crazy was it when the guy who actually killed their Dad (who, let’s be honest, kinda had it coming) was like Oh yeah, I kinda used your gun. We’re still cool, right? LMAO! Madness. But I thought this was a great revenge-y back story. Although, I am really scurred that they’re gonna hurt my poor Jack :(

Quote ItMe? I like Blue Label Scotch. Rich man’s candy.

5. Oh ISH: Who Gives A F*** If Aiden Is A Killer– He Finally Got It On And Poppin’ (Again) With ‘Emily’!!!

OMG. Finally:

THIS:

Thank You, That’s All I Wanted:

And Then He Called Her AMANDA:

Bonus Oh Hell Nawl Moment: Did y’all see the sneek peak for next week’s episode?! Was that ASHLEY getting it on and poppin’ with CONRAD GRAYSON?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Noooooooooooooooooo!!!

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  1. Ann

    I think it wasn’t actually Russia, just a Russian club or something. Why would Ashley be in Russia? Why would they kidnap Coleen in the US and then relocate their ‘bussiness’ to Russia when they where obviously doing great there?

    • JCZ

      Yeah ya right. I only remember cause of the NYC skyline showing the Chrysler building, it needs more love that wonderful building.

      I agree Shannon – finally the bar story is interesting. But I think Jack is just stupid, he could be such a greater character. The 2006 Jack felt way too young, he reminded me of the ‘slow and stupid’ character you’d see in 90s sitcoms. Especially when he runs down to the dock after the shooting, believing nothing shady occurred, after his Dad and the other guy agreed to meet up an hour later for the money. It’s often in these shows that the ‘side characters’ always get the shitty storylines, which makes sense, they’re virtually ‘fillers’. But I’ve found with Revenge, something you’ve even said yourself Shannon, that you can never truly trust any character, know them completely or know whether they’re decent or also seeking their own Revenge.

      I honestly feel that way. Every character is out to get something. Kill someone. Humiliate someone. Just all Revengey stuff as Nolan would say. My only fault with this episode was that it was the episode chosen after a week break, I feel they should have ended with this for the Thanksgiving break cause I want more PRESENT day Revengey stuff. I mean, we are like addicts after watching each episode…. GIVE US MORE!

    • JCZ, I know what you mean about Jack. But I see him more as an ‘I don’t want no trouble’ kinda guy. I think he def knew something popped off (lit’rally) down by the water, but he just wants it to go away.

      ‘Every character is out to get something’– yes! This aspect of ‘Revenge’ always makes me feel like I’m in a Psychology course– nobody is innocent, nobody is without their neuroses and nobody is without their Mommy (or Daddy) issues! Things are a little more dramatic than they might be in the ‘real’ world but essentially we’re all trying to avenge, or live up to, or get back at our parents, lmao! It’s all very familial and that’s where the drama comes from. Thanks for commenting JCZ!

    • “The 2006 Jack felt way too young, he reminded me of the ‘slow and stupid’ character you’d see in 90s sitcoms.” LMAO! I died. So true.

    • Ann and JCZ– y’all are absolutely right! LMAO! I think it was because Aiden was trying out that Russian accent that I assumed they were actually there. But I just double-checked on the ABC website and y’all are right– THANK YOU.

      But I stand by my previous statements about Russia being shady as hell, lol ;)

  2. so last night was a real eye opener. Daniel could have been a writer? Ashley so desperate that she was gonna be a hooker? finally how Aiden & Amanda met. geeez. but im guessing this is kind of how Aiden & Ashley met, through Amanda? and thats why they looked so comfortable with each other a couple episodes ago.

  3. LOL You cracked me up with #5! HELLZ YEAH! I caught myself smiling and getting all mushy inside as I watched them being all sorts of freaking cute! If he ever betrays her, I’m going to be scarred forever. And then I will cut Aiden’s fictional balls.

    - Nolan. Past, present and (I’m pretty sure) future: I love this guy. It’s incredible how much he keeps putting in the line, over and over again, for Emily and David Clarke. I have so much respect for him. I PRAY Marco Romero is still secretly in love with Nolan…

    - You know what? Even after the back story, I’m STILL not interested in the bar plot line. LOL I’m over it. Meh. Who cares? Someone, please, get Jack out of that stupid plot line.

    - Victoria: I thought she ruled, and she ruled HARD. Her mother was atrocious! She was completely despicable. I don’t pity her for a second…I’m not sure if that’s nice of me or not, but I don’t…. I think Victoria earned her right to get that moment. (Sometimes this show brings the Joandemort out of me…sorry!) NO PITY!

    One last thing: was is the deal with Takeda? I mean, why is he a mentor to all these revenge-y people? What is his motivation? Why does he even care? I wish we knew more about him and about the Initiative.

    • JCZ

      Uh I have to jump in twice just to agree about Victoria.

      I don’t know if anyone feels the same, or watches Homeland (THEY SHOULD! And Shannon should totes do a Top 5 on that!)

      But the way I feel about Victoria is the same way I feel about Brody on Homeland. They’re the villains. We’re supposed to hate them and at times we do. But we also sympathise with them, defend them, fight for them. Victoria is a sneaky bi**h! Every time Emily and Victoria are in the room, I despise the woman cause she is so afraid, deep down of Emily. When she is fighting with Conrad, I side with Victoria. I hate her when she controlling Charlotte, but defend her when Daniel is ripping at her.

      In tonights episode I was all for Victoria. I’m sure most were. If it wasn’t for her terrible mother, she wouldn’t be the glamourous monster she has become. No doubt next week though, we’ll go back to the love/hate relationship. But it was good to just feel for V the whole way through.

      But seriously, bring on the epic revenge finale against the Grayson’s. Except Charlotte.

    • Yeah, the greatest villains aren’t just evil for the sake of being evil. It’s the motivation behind those actions that makes them so compelling. Victoria has done terrible things to a lot of people out of self-preservation, for herself and her family. That doesn’t make her any less of an awful person, but it does make you see her character from a different perspective. I find myself thinking this way about Emily as well. For the sake of her revenge, she has also done terrible things. Do I think she’s horrible for it? Nope. lol There’s a tragic aspect to both of them: Emily is the tragic hero. Victoria is the tragic villain.

    • Joan, #5 was definitely an Oh Hellz Yeah moment. I was soooo sexually frustrated FOR those two, it was ridiculous. Completely agree with you and JCZ; this was one of few times you just felt mad love for Victoria. I also liked those old episodes when she was with the painter guy she loved– that was also a different side to her that I appreciated.

      Great questions about Takeda! Hopefully we’ll get some info on him too– as rachel says below, Aiden def seemed to hint at there being more to him.

    • JCZ

      Joan, couldn’t have summed that up any better. Her and Conrad’s evilness are on completely different sides of the spectrum, which why I continually hate him, but up and down with Victoria. We’re all, I’m sure VERY anxious to see Victoria’s face once the whole Revenge truth is revealed and her life is complete and utterly destroyed, but I still feel for her – for the very points you make about why she is the villain.

  4. rachel

    didn’t aiden say, “takeda’s a smart man, maybe this was his plan all along (meaning, the hookup of him and “emily”)”. um, foreshadowing much?! you think?? best. guilty. pleasure. EVER!

  5. rachel

    “meaning, the hookup of him and emily”… what? am i drunk? grammar spaz! (meaning, aiden’s hookup with “emily”)

    • rachel, it’s okay. We’re all drunk off ‘Revenge,’ LOL. And you’re SO right about that moment! Hopefully we’ll find out soon if Takeda, indeed, wants these two together (and why).

  6. tessa

    haha shannon – living for these updates! wanted to tell you that you have officially made it in my eyes – whenever i hear good celebrity gossip i’m all “oh i can’t wait to hear what trent has to say about this” and all i could think about when watching revenge this week was “OMG Shannon is gonna LOSE IT!” love it!! this episode was inteeense. loving the recaps!!

  7. Kelly

    “And their Thanksgiving dinner was about as awkward as Turkey day at Halle Berry‘s”. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hilarious!

    Ashley and Conrad? CALLED IT!!!! She is oe desperate hookAH!

  8. MJ

    This show makes me paranoid…and I don’t trust Aiden. I’m TOTALLY speculating, but his story won’t end well. Either he betrays her (which would suck) or he’s the one in the Amanda at the bottom of the ocean…

    • MJ, ‘or he’s the one in the Amanda at the bottom of the ocean…’ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
      Why would you even SAY that?!?!?! LMAO, OMG. No. Please. However, this is ‘Revenge’ and pretty much anything is possible, so yeah. But no.

  9. Devonte

    OMG! Ashley was getting it on with Conrad but I TOTALLY SAW THAT COMING! She said in one episode all she wanted was to be on the top…guess she figured out how she would! Oh Daniel is gonna FLIP and then try to come back to “Emily” but she’s getting it in from Aiden and then she’s gonna be all confused and get sidetracked from her mission and blah blah blah, love this show, can’t get enough and can NOT wait for Nolan’s ex to come in the picture and start some shizzz….man…is this the feeling my grandma gets from watching her day time soaps?!

    • Devonte, you know I love your comments so hard, lmao! When I was first watching ‘Revenge’ I will never forget being on Netflix with my headphones on and my boys were trying to get my attention and I literally said, ‘No, not now; I’m watching my shows.’ LMAO! I was like, OMG, how OLD am I, and since when do I have “shows”???!!! But yeah, ‘Revenge’ is hella soap-y… and it’s amazing :)

  10. First of all, can the Graysons ever do anything in a non-super dramatic fashion? Like, did Papa GrayGray really need to BURN Daniel’s poems? He couldn’t have just tossed them out or lost them somewhere in their HUGE MANSION?
    Love that screencap of Ashley’s semi-constipated face.
    This is really cray, but for a second I thought that Marco (who I know is hispanic but maybe sort looked a little INdian) was actually a pre-op Padma and that was her big secret (because she TOTALLY has some shady shit goin on).
    As for the whole Russian thing, it seems that in TV/film Russians exist for two reasons: running criminal organizations and drinking vodka.

    • OMG YES on the possibility of a Marco-Padma twist! I pray for this. If they are not allies, I hope they are enemies. (I just want a reason to hate at least one of them. LOL)

    • MJ

      I love the idea of Padma and Marco having a backstory and possibly working together….Padma being Marco? Hmm. It just reminded me of Alexis on Ugly Betty.

    • OMG I LOVE Ugly Betty and Alexis Meade, Revenge would totally pull that kind of soap opera madness twist.

    • Mark, LMAO! I LOVE Ashley; she is, like, my fashion icon… but she was looking a hot mess in this episode so I had to do it.

      I know what you mean about that fireplace, but I love it! They burn EVERYTHING in there, lol. It’s the Grayson way…

      And you are so crazy to suggest the Padma/Marco connection! I love it!

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