Today is the day … Today, we get to see Lindsay Lohan’s much-talked about acting comeback in the role of Elizabeth Taylor in the Lifetime TV made-for-TV movie Liz & Dick. Y’all should know by now that Liz & Dick is a low budget movie that tells the frantic love affair between Liz Taylor and Dick Burton … and in a few hours, we will all get to see the damn thing for ourselves. But, before you settle down with your bowl of popcorn and (hopefully) massive amounts of alcohol, read some excerpts from some of the Liz & Dick reviews that have been published … so you know what insanely (and unintentional) hilarious moments to be on the lookout for. It’s Liz & Dick Day, y’all. Huzzah!!
Two months after Elizabeth Taylor’s death in March 2011, Lifetime announced at their upfront presentation that they would be producing a movie based on the star’s tumultuous relationship with Richard Burton. In April 2012, it was announced that Lindsay Lohan, in dire need of a comeback project, had beaten out the likes of Megan Fox to win the lead role. One car crash, a paramedics hotel room visit, an insurance world record and one union probe later, the final product of this particular object of Hollywood fascination is very nearly upon us. In anticipation of its Sunday night premiere, here is a sampling of what critics are saying about Liz & Dick. In his review, THR’s Tim Goodman says “don’t miss Liz & Dick,” but only because it “is spectacularly bad” and a “classic of unintentional hilarity.” Goodman says the star is “woeful as Taylor from start to finish.” “At one point, Lohan has to shout, ‘I won’t live without you!’ and then run down a hall. It’s like a high school play,” Goodman writes. “By the time Lohan is playing mid-’80s Taylor and it looks like a lost Saturday Night Live skit, your body may be cramped by convulsions,” he says, then suggests the movie was made for drinking games. Alessandra Stanley echoes Goodman’s observation in today’s New York Times: “There are moments in Liz & Dick when Lindsay Lohan looks a lot like Elizabeth Taylor,” Stanley writes. “There are others in which she looks like Elizabeth Taylor doing a Saturday Night Live impersonation of Lindsay Lohan” Stanley nevertheless says the actress isn’t “ridiculous” in the role, but that “she is oddly passive, sleepwalking through scenes that call for passion and caprice.” Entertainment Weekly’s Ken Tucker was similarly underwhelmed, giving Liz & Dick a C- rating and describing it variously as “very peculiar,” “dinky” and “tin-eared.” About the star’s performance, Tucker says that a “wall goes up between the actress and us. Is it years of ducking tabloid photographers that have frozen her face into a blank stare?” Instead of the real Taylor’s “high-register, girlish” voice — what the Times’ Stanley calls “candied” –Tucker says Lohan provides line readings in “the raspy rattle familiar to anyone who has seen [her] on TMZ.” “No effort seems to have gone into Lohan’s preparation other than tinting her eyes Liz-violet,” he writes. Salon’s Willa Paskin disagrees with Goodman, saying “there is nothing ‘unintentional'” about the hilarious awfulness of the movie, pointing out that by its very “Lifetime movie” nature, the film is meant to be a subpar slice of overcooked melodrama. Paskin says the framing device in which the two stars sit in director’s chairs talking directly to the camera actually serves Lohan well: “The destruction Lohan has wreaked on her own voice — it’s the come-hither, smoky growl of an equally jaded, but much older woman — works perfectly here. And with no blocking or costumes or screeching to worry about, she’s almost decent,” Paskin writes … TV Guide’s Matt Roush asks in his review, “What unbecomes a legend most?” before nominating Liz & Dick for the “TV Turkey Hall of Fame.” It’s “an epic of stunningly cynical and pathetic miscasting, a TV movie so laughably inept it doesn’t deserve to be on a first-name basis with anything resembling humanity,” he writes.
Yikes! But, if you can believe it, someone out there actually gave Liz & Dick a positive review … this, from The New York Post:
Linda Stasi of the New York Post gives the movie three stars out of four, saying Lohan “is so often believable you might think you’re seeing the real thing.” “There are so many things in this movie that are just so damned juicy,” Stasi notes,” that it is sure is [sic] more fun to watch than the exploits of today’s orchestrated star pairings.”
LOL. You’ll have to pardon my skepticism but my guess is that the reviewer for The New York Post wrote the positive review in order to be the ONLY positive review out there. That or she is deaf and blind. Who knows. In any event, we are mere hours away from the Liz & Dick premiere on Lifetime and I know many of you will be tuning in. Despite my better judgement, I can’t wait to watch this mess, can you?