It’s Monday evening and my electricity’s back on, so it’s time to do the damn thing, Revenge style! Last week’s recap was totally cray, as per usual, and I hate that I didn’t get to read a lot of the comments right away. But Hurricane Sandy was putting in work, so what are you gonna do? This week we have just as much drama to make sense of, so click inside for more!
Okay. Here’s my thing about Revenge. It just doesn’t stop. I have never in my life watched a soap opera, but I’m guessing that’s what Revenge kind of is… but with good acting. Right? First of all, I was not mentally prepared for the Grayson wedding to really, seriously go down but it did. These two are so insane and their will to survive (and kill, along the way) is mind-blowing!
It was so interesting to see Conrad’s growing fondness for his wife (lol). Even though he almost killed her that one time, he sooo wanted that wedding to be the real deal and she sooo couldn’t wait to get rid of him/have him arrested for the murder of the white-haired man.
While all this was going on, more drama popped off at The Stowaway bar (which had its grand re-opening thanks to that shady guy who’s now a partner), and ‘Emily’ also spent time coming up with a way for ‘Amanda’ to get rid of Mason, who scared the ish out of everyone (including us) when he showed up in the last episode with ‘proof’ that ‘Amanda’ was a fake. In this episode he starts to back off, but really, he just gets distracted by the Graysons and all their fake deaths and fake kidnappings and fake weddings; he ends up following a phony trail left by the queen all things revenge-y, ‘Emily,‘ and hands Conrad over to the police. The romantical drama is also popping off in a big way– Declan and Charlotte were lookin’ pretty official, Jack and ‘Amanda’… ummmmm yeahhh… we’ll get to that; ‘Emily’ and Daniel are doing alll the things you are never supposed to do with a fresh ex-fiance (dancing, reminiscing, late-night texting… lmao, okay they didn’t do that last one but you KNOW it’s coming), and then Aiden and ‘Emily’ totally, almost, finally got it poppin’!
Damn! We were so close to the make-up sex scene we’ve all been waiting for! And yet, so far away. But even that disappointment didn’t ruin the show. So let’s get to it!
1. Yes, Mama Kara Is Still The Scariest Thing Ever.
Every time I see this woman I just want my Mommy. Like, straight up. We’ve already established that she’s scarier than Victoria Grayson… hence Vicki being scared ish-less of her. But Kara (her facial expressions, her voice, her far-away, other-worldly crooked smile) is, like, the worst! She’s worse than those creepy-ass floating monsters from that Buffy episode Hush. She’s worse than Bane from The Dark Knight Rises (I lit’rally screamed every time he came on screen, and yeah, no she’s scarier than that). Look at her puttin’ on Victoria’s perfume, lol! She is going to EFF the Graysons up so bad, lmao! When she found out that they were responsible for his death (although, really her daughter and Aiden are), she looked like she was gonna kill somebody… or drown somebody (shouts-out to PITNBR Joan), lmao! I feel like we have no idea what this woman is capable of. We caught a glimpse of it when she popped of on Aiden, but I think we’re getting ready to see some next level ish.
It was also nice to see her connecting with ‘Emily’ (and I love that we learned about ‘Emily’ is a painter), but this woman is still terrifying.
2. ‘Amanda’ And Jack Are Back Together In More Ways Than I Can Emotionally Handle
I know this is gonna sound mean. But. Is anyone else annoyed that Fauxmanda and Jack magically patched things up after she got out of her coma? I’m sorry… but why does Jack always gotta be doing the right thing?! Ugh! I love him! He is the definition of a stand-up-guy and I just hate it sometimes. Oh, just ’cause she fell while she was prego and ended up in a coma, y’all gotta get back together?! And oh, just because she might not feel 100% secure about the relationship as it stands you gotta wife her now?! Agh!
I can’t wait to hear what you guys thought of the proposal. Jack is so damn sweet but sometimes I just wanna pull him out of that TV screen, grab him by the shoulders, and keep it crazy real with him: THAT’S NOT AMANDA! HELL NO SHE DOESN’T REMEMBER THAT TIME WHEN Y’ALL FOUND THAT TREASURE CHEST UNDER WATER OR WHATEVER! ‘CAUSE IT WASN’T HER! THAT’S FAUXMANDA! HAVEN’T YOU BEEN READING THE RECAPS?!?!?! WTF!
Quote It: I’m proof that you can have it all (no, Jack. You’re not… sorry boo).
3. Charlotte Does The Most Gangsta Ish Ever; Gives Victoria A Wedding Present And Then Says Hell No I’m Not Coming To The Wedding
OMG, this made me sooooo happy. Remember, like, two episodes ago when everybody was on stage with Victoria (so she could publicly confess to the affair with David Clarke) and I was like, why can’t one person just say no to her?! Finally! Somebody was like hell no, and it was little Charlotte who refused to attend her parents’s wedding and went to her broke-ass boyfriend’s job to help him out. Now that’s real lurve y’all! I’m not gonna front, I was sooo proud of her.
Quote It: (Declan) What about your parent’s wedding?
(Charlotte) I’ll catch the next one.
4. The Grayson Wedding, Which Was Like The Most Awkward High School Dance Ever
First of all, there was a gun in the building. Because Conrad gave Victoria one as a wedding present. Obviously. Then somebody got arrested. And then everybody was having hella romantical drama! I swear it was just like my 11th grade pajama party when I broke up with that one dude but he acted like we were still together and it was all awkward because I was already into my new dude and then my friend’s older sister showed up and dragged her out because she had on the skankiest halter top ever (that I so wanted)… wait. What? Okay. Sorry, no. It wasn’t exactly like the pajama party, but there were like 8 oh hell nawl moments in one:
Padma & Nolan had drama.
After Daniel approached her about the whole David Clarke movement she basically backed out of the whole thing which makes me think we can trust her… except this is Revenge so. Yeah, no, we probably can’t. But I do like that Nolan took control of the situation and didn’t let ‘Emily’ have her way earlier in the episode when she was trying to keep him from going to the wedding.
Quote It: Okay. You win with the steely eyes.
Emily & Daniel were all up in and around each other.
He wants so get back with her sooo hard, lol! The truth is, I also secretly want them to eventually get back together. But I’ma need that ‘Emily’/Aiden makeup sex scene first. Sorry.
Ashley & Aiden were totally eyeing each other in the last episode and then I peeped it again at the beginning of this one (mainly on Ashley’s side).
So when he walked up on her at the wedding I was like helllll nawwwwl!!! But, as PITNBR Tarah pointed out, Aiden is a part of this whole movement to screw around with Nolan’s company so his interest in Daniel (and Ashley) is a bit complicated. I also noticed that he sort of hinted to ‘Emily’ later in the episode that there could be more Ashley than anyone knows, which is something PITNBR Thomas suggested a while back. Madness.
5. Conrad Grayson Hearts Blowing People Up Via The Initiative
Yooo. What is WRONG with Conrad (or Connie, as Mason calls him)?! WHAT is The Initiative?! And who are they about blow up now?! Like, this plot just doesn’t quit. And I love how, in Revenge, everyone– irregardless of how gangsta they seem to be– is always afraid of someone. Conrad looked hella shook when this chick showed up in his cell. And now that he’s gotten out of jail and made a deal with The Initiative, who knows WTF is going to happen next?! I don’t know. But I’m scared y’all. And I’m hella scared (scurred, even) of Mason’s ridiculous map with the string thingy. What the hell is this?!
Okay, looking forward to hearing everyone’s thoughts! Do y’all think Mason knows who ‘Emily’ really is??? And did you HEAR him call my girl Ashley “the help”?!?! Yeah, he might have to die or something.0