As news of Hurricane Sandy continued to flash across my television screen last night, all I could think was ‘this better not eff with Revenge.’ And thankfully, it didn’t (randomness: Lindsay Lohan also had the hurricane and Revenge on her brain last night as well… which aligns us in more ways than I’m comfortable with). Anyway, the winds are definitely picking up here in New York but hurricane or no, we have a Revenge recap to get into! Click inside for some ‘oh hell nawl‘-ing of epic proportions!
One of my favorite things about last night’s episode of Revenge is that, in many ways, it went against everything we’ve come to expect about this show. I will never forget watching the first episode of the first season, and hearing ‘Emily‘ say ‘this is not a story about forgiveness.’ Every time she does something cray-cray and I’m like, okay she’s going too damn far– I think back to that opening monologue. She’s out for revenge, and nothing else! So you can imagine my surprise when I heard her talking about forgiveness at the beginning of this episode. I knew we were about to see some new stuff! First off, Kara Clarke is probably the scariest thing we’ve seen since Victoria Grayson. I mean, this woman is wild! She just scares me, straight up.
And now that she’s kickin’ it in the Hamptons, I can’t imagine what kind of drama is gonna pop off. She and Victoria are getting their frienemy on and she’s also, like, this creepy, doting Grandma (unaware that baby Porter is not her actual grandson). And speaking of baby Porter… OMG! Jack is really, really a Dad… LMAO. That is just the cutest. And now that Carl‘s Mommy is out of her coma (and yeah, that was a pretty brief coma), he’ll have a totally normal life… sort of… well, probably not. But okay, everyone’s alive so that’s a good start. This episode also gave us a lot of drama in the way of ‘Emily‘s ex-boyfriends (Aiden and Daniel) hanging out together; hella awk. And we also got to see more of that creepy guy who wants in on Jack and Declan‘s bar; sooo effed up! Though we did get a peek at a possible Declan/Charlotte reunion (I know PITNBRS Lulu and Thomas were totally into that, lol):
But the biggest shocker of the episode had to be the return of Mason Treadwell‘s crazy ass. Aghhh! Where the hell did he come from, lol?! I can’t wait to see what kind of ish he’s gonna stir up. He’s sooo pissed at… everyone. Love it. And now, let’s get to it!
1. ‘Emily’ Looks A Hot Mess
When ‘Emily‘ woke up next to Aiden at the beginning of the episode my first thought was ‘Oh shiiiiii-, did they get it on and poppin’?!‘ And then when I realized they’d slept on the couch, my second thought was ‘Emily looks a hot mess.‘ And that’s how I knew this was going to be a different kind of episode. ‘Emily‘ always, always has her ish together no matter how things are going. Her mother’s arrival has been the only thing to really shake her up and we are seeing a truly vulnerable side to her, which necessarily includes some crazy bedhead. Everybody’s got their Daddy issues… but Mommy issues are on a whole. ‘Nother. Level. I like that this episode showed us that revenge-ing is fun, but eventually some kind of forgiveness is required. And it usually starts with a few rough nights, like the one ‘Emily‘ had, lol.
Quote It: I needed someone. You walked through the door. Don’t let it go to your head.
2. Probably The Only Time We Ever Saw Victoria Grayson Looking STUPID Scared
OMG. This was awesome!!! When Kara showed the eff up at the Graysons home… the LOOK on Victoria‘s face was lit’rally priceless. I am so glad the gods invented screen shots so I can just look at these images over and over again, LMAO!
All this time we haven’t really seen Victoria afraid of anything or anyone– not Conrad, not the white-haired man, not even ‘Emily‘ or ‘Amanda.’ All of these people have been, like, minor inconveniences throughout the course of her life but Kara MOTHER**** Clarke had her shook! I love it. And I love that, once she got herself together, she did what she always does. She invited Kara for lunch, lmao.
Oh, and then invited her to stay at the Grayson manor. Typical Victoria. Always keeping her enemies (AKA everyone) closer.
3. Babies Make Life Happy… And Complicated
First of all, I love that we have a baby on Revenge! Lol, I’m not gonna lie. I got a lil’ teary-eyed when Fauxmanda woke up and held baby Carl for the first time. Sigh. *Memories* Okay. So here’s the thing about baby Carl. He’s awesome! Because he brought ‘Emily‘ and her mom back together… although Kara has no clue who her actual daughter is… which sucks for ‘Emily.’ You could sooo tell she wanted her Mom to recognize her, to have that little magical Mommy button in her heart that would tell her who she was looking at. But it wasn’t so.
And how crazy was that moment when Kara was telling ‘Emily‘ how, when she was younger, she was this sweet little gentle soul who wouldn’t hurt a spider? A lot’s changed since then! But you could tell it made ‘Emily‘ feel good to hear something about her past from her mother. And then Mason showed up! WTF?! With a gorgeous bouquet of blue roses?! What is that?!
And why was he grilling the eff out of Kara?
Mason: Where have you been all these years?
Mason: That’s one of my favorite places!
But when ‘Amanda‘ sat down and had that heart-to-heart with Kara, I was so glad that Kara kinda told the truth about being messed up and doing some grimey ish (although she didn’t speak directly to the whole drowning bit). But I think ‘Emily‘ needed to hear that and seeing her get emotional was good, especially because I think it all led to her confessing to ‘Amanda‘ about baby Carl really being Jack‘s. That was definitely an oh hell yeah moment.
4. Aiden And Daniel Are Up To Some Ish (And So Is Padma… I think)
OMG, these two! I swear, these scenes with Aiden and Daniel sooo reminded me of the moment in Scandal when Mellie and Olivia started meeting up and hanging out. What is that?! It’s like, if you can’t be with the one you lurve then you gotta start hanging out with the other person they used to do the nasty with?! OMG. Stop it! Everyone. Seriously. Stop. Lol, okay so Aiden started snooping around Grayson Global because ‘Emily‘ wanted him to, but then when she started giving him the cold shoulder he started having all these weird chill-sessions with Daniel. He found out that Padma was doing her own David Clarke-related snooping (omg poor Nolan)…
…and then he got all buddy-buddy with Daniel by giving him advice as to how to proceed. Sooo weird, right? I’m gonna assume that whatever he’s doing, it still pertains to ‘Emily‘ and helping her stay on track (even though she keeps telling him to bugger off) but the last thing he said to her was kinda scary…
Quote It: You’ll soon find out I make a far better partner than enemy.
5. The Scariest File Folder Ever
OMG. WHAT IS MASON UP TO?! I cannot… I must know now what the eff is in that folder. Mason, strangely enough, has had the most contact with ‘Emily‘ over the years, as he was the only one out of all the characters to see her while she was in state custody. That’s how he knew that Fauxmanda was not Amanda; he remembered a scar that had been on her back as a child. This ish is so cray!!! And he seems like he is back to unearth everyone’s secrets. That’s some scary ish for Victoria, Kara, ‘Emily, ‘Amanda,’ and pretty much the whole Hamptons population.
Quote it: Do you gag a little when you say that [word]? ‘Honestly?’ (Mason to Victoria)
Okay, so here are some questions for us to ponder… Is ‘Amanda‘ really cool with ‘Emily‘ after that big ass lie about Jack? And WTF is EVERYBODY (Aiden, Daniel, Victoria, Mason, everybody) up to??? Oh. And most importantly… are you ready for the Grayson wedding (le deux)??? LMAO! Those two are so sick. I Love it! And I can’t wait to hear everyone’s favorite moments from last night’s episode!
East Coasters– stay safe and dry!