Y’all have no idea how many times I had to pause last night’s episode to give myself a second to completely lose my mind. I cannot with this show!!! But before we get started on this recap, puh-lease tell me that you watched Scandal last Thursday, and if you did then you gots to check out our first Scandal recap. It was crazy, crazy fun. And if you missed Scandal, then do yourself a favor and get caught up here. You’ll thank me later. And now, on to Revenge!
So one thing I really like about this episode is that we got a lil more clarification on that [Dumbass] Declan drama. We all knew something was going to pop off when he got caught stealing from that house and now we know that the kid who was working with him was actually working for someone else the whole time. We still don’t know what they have planned, but we know it involves taking full control of Jack and Declan’s bar, which is sooo messed up considering all the hard work their late father put into it. Grimy! The Graysons are still being shady as hell. Conrad went to meet with the Initiative (the people for whom the white-haired man worked, and yes, that was also the name of that creepy government agency from Buffy, lol) and they are hella suspicious of him and his wife which is awesome. They’re not buying Victoria’s bullsh-t story about being kidnapped by him and I’m really curious to see how they’ll react when they find out he’s dead. Which you know they will. And poor ‘Emily.’ Her Daddy issues have metamorphosed into Mommy issues and we all know those are the worst, lmao! Aiden tried to warn her that she might not like what she finds, and boy was he right. Plus he got caught up in hella drama chasing after her mom, who is no joke! ‘Emily’ has also been, like, the worst thing to happen to Fauxmanda’s (shouts-out to PITNBR ClaireMichelle) baby ever. I can’t even believe this girl sometime. We’ve seen a lot of people get hurt in the crossfire of her Revenge-y path, but unborn babies?????!!!!! Madness. Anyway, there was so much drama– and blood– in this episode there was little time for romance. Boo! Luckily, Scandal overdid it in that department last week, so I was kind of okay. The only people who we saw getting it on and poppin’ were Ashley and Daniel and I was FURIOUS during that closing scene! Agh! I so don’t want them together, lol! I guess I just miss ‘Emily’ and Daniel… though I also miss ‘Emily’ and Jack… and ‘Emily’ and Aiden so yeah. I’ll work through it. And without further ado, here are my fave moments from last night’s episode.
Top 5 ‘Oh Hell Nawl’ Moments From ABC’s Revenge, Season 2, Episode 4: Intuition
1. The Episode Just Started And Already, Far Too Much Has Happened
This is it. This moment is why we love Revenge. Everything gets packed into this little 35-second shot of a housecleaner, on her hands and knees, cleaning up blood spill-age for which she is completely not responsible. I love it. And then the camera pans over to the only woman who would do leave a mess like that for somebody else to clean up: Victoria ‘OhHellNawl’ Grayson herself. Revenge is a show about many things and one of those things is social class. Every character (Victoria, ‘Emily,’ Daniel, Jack) is a product of his/her environment and his/her social standing, and I love that they never let you forget that. The whole plot is built around those who have and those who have not– but everyone, at some point or another ends up with blood on their hands. Hells yeah.
2. Nolan Has Daddy Issues
Okay, a couple of things happened when we found out (with Nolan) that Nolan’s Dad died. 1.) We realized that Padma looks craaazyyy good in green and should probably never wear any other color, ever.
And 2.) Nolan’s storyline got interesting on a whole ‘nother level. Lately we’ve been seeing him get a bit of attention in a non-‘Emily’/sidekick related way, but now his story is really taking off. How friggen *verklempt* did you get watching him go through the scrapbooks his Dad made of him? OMG. My Dad never made a scrapbook of all my scientific and technological achievements! WTF.
Quote It: Regrets suck.
3. ‘Amanda’ + Skrippers = Best Baby Shower Ever
Yoooo, I almost lost my shizz when Fauxmanda showed up with the old gang!!! I was like, OMG how did they not invite me to this baby shower?! I love skrippers! I love baby showers! I would have had a blast! But seriously, I was so glad that she did something to remind ‘Emily’ that she wasn’t in complete control. It was a small victory (especially considering what went down later), but it still made me really, really, inexplicably happy. And I looove that Victoria was like, ‘Oh! I see that you brought your… people.’ LMAO. She is so effing racist. Love it.
4. Worst Baby Shower Ever: Victoria Grayson Proves That She Is Still, In Case We Forgot, The Worst
Remember in an earlier scene where ‘Emily’ demanded that ‘Amanda’ go along with the whole baby shower thing, and she was basically like, if you help me find my mother, then we’ll be done? And ‘Amanda’ was all like, ‘You will never be done.’ Yeah, she was right. Though, I guess that’s the point of the whole show. Also, when ‘Amanda’ first moved in with ‘Emily’ (lol, note how ‘Emily’s spot is THE crash pad), she pointed out that her baby was becoming a casualty in this warfare. Foreshadowing like a motherf—–! If anything happens to Jack’s baby (who was delivered and seemingly okay by the end of the episode) I swear, I will seriously have to mess somebody up. The sight of ‘Amanda’ falling off that staircase was literally the worst and even though Victoria didn’t push her… you know she wanted to! Between ‘Emily’ and Victoria’ I honestly don’t know who wants ‘Amanda’ gone more sometimes. Sooo messed up.
5. Moms Should Probably Not Attempt To Drown Their Daughters
Okay. So I was initially excited to learn more about the mysterious mother of ‘Emily’ but I gotta be honest… I’m really not feelin’ her right now! That flashback scene in the water was really too much. I mean, I think it’s safe to assume that Mama Revenge has some issues. And now that she’s back on the scene, what in the world does that mean for ‘Emily’ and Fauxmanda, who ‘Emily’s mom totally thinks is her daughter??? How much more insane can this season get??? And how absolutely sure were you that ‘Emily’ and ‘Aiden’ were about to get it on and poppin’ when he showed up at the end, lmao?!
We haven’t seen her cry on a man since that sweet dog Sam died and she and Jack had to make-out over it. Damn that was a good scene (PITNBR Joan reminded me of it)! Anyway, I guess we’ll have to wait for the next episode to find out if these two are gonna do the damn thing or not.
Can’t wait to hear everyone’s thoughts on episode four! Jack’s a poppa, y’all!!!
Sidenote, how cute were ‘Emily’ and ‘Amanda’ at the baby shower, lol?!
Look at Fauxmanda’s lil’ push-up bra– she is so wrong for that. Love it. And between this little black dress and that GQ shoot, ‘Emily’ really is getting her sexy on. I’m not mad at her!0