Okay y’all. Here we gooo! I spent a solid three days (or more) glued to Netflix watching the entire amazingness that was Season 1 of Revenge. It was awesome, as fans of the show should already know. Since writing about the show (and a few others I lurve) last week, I was sooo excited to finally watch the new season’s first two episodes and now, we have a lot to discuss! Season Two? That Ish Cray. Join me inside for a recap, PITNB style, of last night’s episode, Resurrection. Oh, and spolier alert, spoiler alert, spoiler alerts like cray!
So, just to refresh everyone’s memories, last night’s episode brought hella drama. We got a little more info on Conrad Grayson’s schemes with Charlotte’s rehab doctor, as he succeeded in seizing her entire trust, thanks to a bullsh-t lab report… Charlotte’s clean y’all! She’s clean! ‘Emily’ and Daniel are back together again… at least in terms of coming together to combat the never-ending Grayson family drama, although we know ‘Emily’ has her own motives (and so does Daniel). Nolan’s got a new CFO (and/or future love interest???) in Padma. And Victoria Grayson comes back from the dead– or, as Conrad put it, even the Devil himself didn’t want her. Lots of other ish happened, as we watched ‘Amanda’ and Jack try to prepare for their forthcoming bundle of I-don’t-know-what and Declan is clearly about to get into some ish (really Declan? You’re really gonna believe the rich kid who asked you to hold onto his step-mother’s gabillion dollar charm bracelet for a few days, OMG). So yeah, like I said, hella stuff happened. Here are some of my fave moments:
Top 5 ‘Oh Hell Nawl’ Moments From ABC’s Revenge, Season Two, Episode Two: Resurrection
1. Conrad Grayson’s Dream Comes True And He Gets To Beat The Ish Out Of Victoria Without Fear Of Incrimination
OMG. The LOOK on Conrad’s face when Victoria told him to take his best shot at her face!!! LOL, that was insane! But what I really liked about this moment in the storyline is that we got to see that Victoria’s self-preservation instincts are so ridiculously complicated. Remember last season when she had Daniel beat to a pulp so he could be taken out of prison and placed on house arrest? At least we know she doesn’t discriminate, lol. The fact that she was willing to let Conrad do that to her face (I know, I know, it’s not real… whatever) shows that she won’t even let her own face get in the way of what she wants.
She is so effing outrageous and I’m sooo glad she got resurrected. The show just isn’t the same without her ridiculously scary lurking presence and that creepy Cruella De Vil-esque smile. Love that crazy bitch.
2. The Part When ‘Emily’ Called Daniel To Tell Him Something Was Popping Off With Charlotte’s Doctor And They Both Tried To Keep It All Professional ‘Cause They’re Broken Up But You Can Totally Tell They Wanted To Have The Ill Make-Up Sex Right There On The Phone While Ashley (With Her Beautiful Conniving Ass) Was Standing Right Outside Daniel’s Office
Something tells me it ain’t over between ‘Emily’ and Daniel. How crazy happy was he when she called, all lookin’ out for Charlotte? He is sooo obsessed with her, lol! And even though the relationship/engagement was all a part of ‘Emily’s revenge plot, we all know she was kinda fallin’ for him (and yeah, Jack too). I’m very curious as to how their story is gonna play out this season. And I’m sooo mad at Ashley! OMG. She defines opportunist. Love it.
3. ‘Emily’ Tells Charlotte That Her “Sister” ‘Amanda’ Is Pregnant
Oh, ‘Emily’! Did you really have to go this route??? Yes, yes you did. After ‘Emily’ takes Charlotte home from rehab, Charlotte tells her that she and Victoria plan to run away. Since ‘Emily’ can’t have that, she tells Charlotte the one thing that will make her stay: the sister she never got to know is having a baby AKA she’s about to be Auntie Charlotte except not at all because ‘Amanda’ is really ‘Emily’ and all that. It’s sooo effed up of ‘Emily’ to do that! And I love that! I love that ‘Emily’ is never an innocent, even though we are rooting for her in many ways. She really does have a one-track mind (sometimes) when it comes to seeking her revenge and she can be just as ruthless as, well, Victoria Grayson. Ouch! Yeah, I said it. I also love this moment because it points to one of the strongest themes of Revenge: family. Whether or not it should, the familial bond often seems to trump all, but it’s also the biggest liability for many of the characters on the show.
4. Jack: You Are NOT The Father. Wait Jack, Sorry Just Kidding. You ARE The Father.
Yo. ‘Emily’ is crazy. That’s it. There’s nothing else to say. She’s crazy! Okay. Like, did she seriously lie to ‘Amanda’ about how Jack is not the father when he actually is the father??? Does she just want ‘Amanda’ to go crazy with guilt and ‘confess’ to him some day? Or does she have other motives??? I’m so confused/excited/hurt/why does ‘Emily’ do these things?! She’s crazy. And this is another example of how the complications of familial bonds can wreak havoc on a person. This storyline is gonna be cray.
5. When Aiden (That Ninja Dude) Killed The Creepy White-Haired Dude AKA The White-Haired Hannibal Lecter
Don’t you love those moments on Revenge when you finally, finally feel safe again? That’s how I felt when creepy white-haired killer got killed. And yet… I know we’re far from safe, lol! Who is Aiden? Why does he keep saving ‘Emily’s life? Is it just me or is he kind of hot? And if so, can the Revenge cast stand to have yet another hot guy on board? Deep questions to ponder until next week y’all.
Okay, I can’t wait to hear what all of you thought of the episode, and/or the season so far! Jacinta Yanders, Joan, Lulu, nicole, Liz, Thomas (this recap was especially for you, lol!), Courtney, blaqfury, hapacalgirl, frenchgirl, Hannah, and Seth Leeper… where y’all at?!0