Yesterday, a rumor started going around that suggested that Morrissey and Johnny Marr had FINALLY agreed to reunite The Smiths for a series of live performances scheduled for next year that got a whole bunch of people excited that it might actually happen. I, for one, was not only NOT excited, I was absolutely certain that the report would turn out to be false. Even tho the initial report cited “credible sources” that insisted “It’s a done deal. Dates are booked. Glastonbury is one of four dates, presumably the Saturday on the Pyramid stage“, I knew — KNEW — that it was not true. Today we hear from Morrissey‘s press rep that the rumor is not true … in fact, the statement issued by Moz‘s rep is SO emphatic in the negative (ie. that The Smiths are NOT getting back together) that it’s almost comical. Click below to read the statement and learn, once and for all, the sad truth that a Smiths reunion just will never, ever, ever, ever, ever happen.
“The Smiths are never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever going to reunite – ever,” Morrissey’s publicist has told Rolling Stone, effectively squashing the dreams of sad kids who grew up and turned out fine everywhere. But there’s never a bad time for a good cry, so that muffled whimpering you hear in the distance is the all-too-familiar sound of Smiths fans’ tears seeping into their pillows. In case you were counting that’s five more “evers” than the line from that Taylor Swift song you can’t get out of your head, but it seems like Morrissey’s publicist really wanted to make clear that the rumors of the band getting together for the Coachella music festival are false. The latest of that set of rumors popped up to the gossip site Holy Moly yesterday, but it looks like a Herald Sun interview with Morrissey from September 27, is what got the ball rolling:
… interestingly the agents for Coachella offered a 100-percent vegetarian event for the following year if I would agree to headline with Johnny Marr as the Smiths. Fascinatingly they made it clear that they would ‘not require’ the Smiths’ bass player or drummer … which I thought certainly said something.
We’re not quite sure how that quote (which could totally be read with dripping sarcasm and cynicism) turned into: “OMG, The Smiths are getting back together!” But it did. Covering all bases, is that Marr’s manager has also shot down the rumors today in NME. Shucks. And when Rolling Stone asked Morrissey’s rep about all that “never” and all those “evers”, his rep responded: “You’d have to ask Morrissey that. There’s got to be a story there, and maybe one day it will be told.”
Yep, that was pretty much the official statement I was expecting to hear. I didn’t post the story yesterday because I knew this refutation would come out today. Now all I can hear in my head is the Taylor Swift song We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together in my head but instead I’m mentally singing, The Smiths are never, ever, ever geting back together. Hahaha! Blah. Trust me, I would DIE for a reunion of The Smiths but it just will never happen. Morrissey continues to tour on his own, I’m seeing him here in LA next month so … I can’t be too bummed. I guess.