PITNB Pinkies: The 2012 MTV Video Music Awards Edition

Chrianna Reunites, Rebel Wilson Slays, And P!nk Brings Down The House...
Chris Brown And Rihanna At The 2012 MTV VMAs

Folks, it’s time for another PITNB Pinkie Awards and I’m sooo excited for today’s winners! Last night the 2012 MTV Video Music Awards went down and, as usual, all kinds of madness ensued. Before the show, I wrote about some of the things I was most excited about and though there were many disappointments (Kevin Hart = FAIL), the event was still totally fun. Celebs were kissing, dissing, stage-diving, and getting pregnant (okay, showing up already pregnant, but still); it was awesome. We’ll start with the first award, for Most Controversial Kiss That Barely Qualifies As A Kiss But Was Still A HUGE Deal. Rihanna and Chris Brown‘s kiss heard ’round the world seemed to happen off-camera, but in this world we all know there’s no such thing as ‘off-camera’! MTV caught the two in the act after Rihanna accepted the coveted Video Of The Year award. Peep the video and I suggest watching it in full screen. Oh, and don’t blink! It’s a short kiss, but it’s a kiss alright! Your thoughts??? We’ve got more winners (i.e. Rebel Wilson, Katy Perry, Frank Ocean, and P!nk) inside!

PITNB Pinkie Awards For The 2012 MTV VMAs

The Award: Absolute Best Dressed Of All Time
The Winner: Rebel Wilson, whose presentation with The Wanted was easily the best moment of the night.

Get More: 2012 VMA, Artists.MTV, Music


 

The Award: Most Likely To Make You Wish He’d Seriously Consider Changing His Sexuality But Oh Yeah You Can’t Change It But Then You Remember That He Didn’t Exactly Come Out As ‘Gay’ So Maybe He Is Bi-Sexual After All And Therefore Wouldn’t Mind If You Threw Your Proverbial Panties On The Stage
The Winner: Frank Ocean, for giving the– hands down– best performance of the night. I was amazed (and, apparently… slightly aroused) when he took the stage and sounded exactly like he sounds on his record, while giving a live performance. Insane! I asked the love of my life if it would be weird if I threw my panties at the screen; he said Frank would, most likely, just throw them back at me. Touché.


 

The Award: Most Likely To Embrace The Profound Message Of R. Kelly‘s ‘Feelin On Yo Booty’ Single While Performing On Stage With Rihanna
The Winner: A$AP Rocky, who made his first VMA appearance and opened the show with RiRi! It was awesome! And yeah, then he grabbed her butt. He was just happy to be there, lmao. If you don’t wanna watch the whole performance, Complex has a hilarious GIF of it here.


 

The Award: Most Likely To Have You All Like, ‘Why Haven’t I Been To A P!nk Concert Before?’
The Winner: P!nk (obvi), for giving one of the few great performances of the night. She may have pulled out some old moves, but we needed to see that ish again, lol! Loved it!


 

The Award: Most Likely To Have Every Single One Of His Facial Expressions Broadcast Throughout Taylor Swift‘s Entire Performance
The Winner: Taylor Lautner, Taylor‘s ex-bf… not that I had a problem with that. His face, I mean.


 

The Award: Most Likely To Make You Hate Everything You Ever Wore While You Were Pregnant
The Winner: Amber Rose, whose fiance Wiz Kalifah officially announced the couple’s pregnancy backstage. Amber looked just like I looked during both of my pregnancies!!! …If I had a bomb-ass haircut and a killer dress on every day. Which I totally [in a parallel universe] did. So yeah, it was awk.

Get More:
2012 VMA, Artists.MTV, Music


 

The Award: Least Likely To Have Caused You To Sart Screaming Like a Teenaged Twihard Two Years Ago, But Most Likely To Have Incited Some Of Those Screams Last Night
The Winner: Robert Pattinson, for making me realize that my new life as a celebrity/pop culture blogger has changed me in more powerful ways than I’d realized. I was, like, scary excited when he took the stage, lmao! Like, scary…

Get More: 2012 VMA, Artists.MTV, Music


 

Okay, and in case you couldn’t quite catch it in the video, The YBF was kind enough to immortalize Chrianna winning the Pinkie for Most Controversial Kiss That Barely Qualifies As A Kiss But Was Still A HUGE Deal:

#Madness

Lots of other coolness happened and you can check it all out at MTV. What were some of your fave moments from this year’s VMAs?

[Source] [Source] [Photo Credit: Getty Images]

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  1. Shannon, I love you. lol Your awards are more entertaining that the actual VMAs. I was bored out of my mind most of the time. Kevin Hart opening monologue has to be one the lamest in VMA’s history. What the hell was that? It wasn’t even funny. I laughed for about 3 nonconsecutive seconds of it. I feel like he didn’t even try!

    I’m in total agreement with your comments on Rebel Wilson’s awesomeness, P!nk’s performance and the Robert Pattinson excitement! (I don’t think I was as excited as YOU… and it only lasted for 15 seconds… but I was still excited. lol)

    • Joan, thanks so much for the support! I’m so glad you like the Pinkies, lol :) I’m trying to put the Kevin Hart thing out of my mind. I’m just sooo worried that people will think he’s not funny– and he’s SOOO FUNNY! But he was playing host, not comedian– and he bombed. It sucked. But I still had fun watching and writing this post. Thanks again Joan!

  2. Yeah, not sure what ws up with Kevin Hart last night. The guy is HILARIOUS! Though, I loved the squealing he did when Rihanna won. And how cute are Rihanna and Katy Perry? Seriously! I loved seeing them together. I was only a little thrown off by Rihanna not thanking Calvin Harris, but whatever. I’m a nitpick :)
    After watching Frank Ocean, I knew that he and I needed to make babies lol. He was amazing. There was a collective “WHAT?!” in the house when Wiz announced Amber Rose’s pregnancy.
    All this year’s VMA’s needed was some Britney and Kanye.

    Shannon- Your posts always make me laugh! It’s like talking to a close friend. Trent made such a good choice with you!

    • sandy, I agree– the VMAs were missing some of the crowd faves this year. Riri and Katy were pretty adorable, lol. So glad you’re enjoying the posts! I’m definitely thinking of all of you guys when I’m coding and drafting and MTVing, lol. It’s all for you!

  3. when Kevin was talking about Drake/Brown – that made me laugh.. ‘he’s Canadian, he likes to recycle’ lol. or when Dwight Howard gave him the Lakers jersey..and he’s like “oh you think this is funny..wait till Kobe doesnt pass you the ball”..Kevin had some good lines. not his best work, but still good.
    Rebel Wilson…i just love her more and more.
    umm what was with Rihanna calling Drake & his crew asshole? the girl has worked with every artist he was with haha. & the whole just stuck up attitude. she had with the video of the year award…i know she was joking around (probably) but it wasnt cute.

    as for the performances…
    Rihanna looked kind of bored.
    im not getting all the hype around Pink’s performance..it was alright..but real lack luster and heavy back vocals for something from pink.
    Frank Ocean…love the man. easily the best performance of the night.
    i cant help but laugh when i hear AKeys new song..i just picture her watching The Hunger Games..and decided to write a song about Katniss lol
    and really…closing the show with Swift….meh.

    overall…no different from any other mtv awards show these day.

    • nicole, great analysis! You’re right– Kevin was definitely funny some of the time. I’m just so used to WEEPING tears of laughter during his stand-up routines; my expectations were crazy high.

      When the awards were over, I def felt disappointed. And I think P!nk’s performance did stand out– partly because she IS good and partly because practically everyone else was kind of boring or ‘meh’ as you put it, lol.

      I was also weirded out by Rihanna’s stroll up to the stage for her win– so strange. Although I’m hearing that she has beef with Nicki so maybe it had something to do with that. These celebs! Thanks for weighing in nicole!

  4. I just couldn’t bring myself to watch this year. I wasn’t excited about any of the performances and presenters. I did watch Taylor’s performance because of some of the performers who were with her, and she did alright.

    • Krissy, I had high hopes… most of which were met with disappointment, lol. But still, some fun was had. Here’s hoping we get a lil more oomph next year.

  5. Joanna

    While I didn’t get to see the show live on TV, I did manage to catch the highlights online today. I have to say I didn’t really know a lot about Kevin Heart except that I’ve heard him compared to Dave Chapelle before so I was kinda intrigued. He was horrible. His “offensive” (and I use the term very loosely) jokes were already leaked online before the show even aired so there was no surprise. Also, I used the term “offensive” loosely because that’s how he wanted those jokes to come across and he stopped short. He was VERY consciously trying not to be overly offensive that his jokes just fell flat.

    In terms of performances, I kinda liked Pink’s performance with the exception of the dancing lips. They were just confusing to me. Rihanna’s performance was bland until she got around to singing “We Found Love” and then she came alive. I have a bias towards Green Day, as they are my all time favorite band so there is never anything wrong I can say about them, so they were great. Taylor Swift was just OK to me. I was focusing more on her awesome outfit (secretly wanting it myself lol) than her performance. I know Frank Ocean is supposed to be the next mega superstar performer, but he chose the wrong song for his mainstream debut. The song was too slow and his voice doesn’t sound as good in the falsetto range than in his regular speaking voice. For this performance he should have sang “Sweet Life” that’s a more engaging song. I know the song he sang is all emotional and stuff, but it didn’t make me a new Frank Ocean fan that’s for sure. I just hope he steps it up a notch when he performs on SNL later this month. I’m not a One Direction fan at all (in fact they kinda bug me) so I didn’t even bother to watch their performance.

    The one thing I was ecstatic about was the fact that they chose Calvin Harris to be the in house DJ. In years past they have chosen regular recording artists who are borderline stars (Pitbull, Robyn, and Jessie J) to be the in house “DJ” to sing songs as the show is going to and from commercial and they didn’t work. Actually picking a real DJ was a smart choice and I hope they pick true DJ’s from now on.

    Overall, the show wasn’t one of the best, but it wasn’t as horribly horrible as last year’s show was. Get better hosts and pretty much everything else will fall into place. The bigger the host’s name the better the show will be.

    • Joanna, thanks so much for commenting. You HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD with Kevin Hart! It’s not like he’s an insult comic or anything (he’s best at making fun of himself), but he was def holding back (and he promised us he wouldn’t!), lol.

      You also make a great point about the Frank Ocean song. Those of us who’ve been listening to him for a while were ecstatic but it def wasn’t the most MTV friendly song he could’ve done. Sweet Life might have been better and I was rooting for Pink Matter, just so Andre 3000 could have come out and brightened things up.

    • “He was VERY consciously trying not to be overly offensive that his jokes just fell flat.” I think this is EXACTLY what happened, Joanna!

  6. I just watched for Frank Ocean, he’s so.. legit! I loved his performance.. The Rihanna-Chris thing, c’mon, we all knew this was coming..

    • Juneh, lol. You’re right… we were all WAITING for it. Which is why I couldn’t believe ‘it’ happened! And yes! Frank is ‘legit.’ I keep feeling like he really, really does not want to get famous in THAT way (which is why he showed up, sang, and bounced, lol).

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