Oh boy. I really thought that post on attachment parenting and pop culture was gonna put an end to all conversations about breastfeeding and motherhood and children; so much for having the final say, lol. And truthfully, this may not really be a breastfeeding issue. Lauren Ferrari is a mother of two and she shared what I think is a kind of private picture on Facebook. For some reason, she wanted everyone to see her younger daughter ‘play breastfeeding’ from her older daughter. But Facebook didn’t think it was cute (nor did many others) at all and they temporarily banned her. Check out the video to see what Lauren, and others have to say on the matter.
Now here’s the thing. Let’s put to the side for a moment the question of whether or not she should have shared that pic (and whether or not they were right to ban her); I’m wondering if we amplify the issue or contribute to the ‘bad’ in it by covering the story. As I was writing this, I read a few comments from people on the HuffPost who were like, well now YOU (the HuffPost) are sharing this and participating in the spreading of this picture, even though the girls’ faces are “edited” out. When I read that, I wondered if I should even be sharing this with you guys. I’m still not sure I’m doing the right thing (to be honest), but I also felt like if I don’t cover this piece of news (and, yeah, it’s news to me) then I’m somehow acknowledging that the photo is inappropriate or obscene.
Which brings us back to the main question: is this photo worth the Facebook ban it received? Personally (personally) I would not have done it. My absolute FAVORITE pictures of my boys are the ones where they’ve just gotten out of the bath and– yup– they’re running around in their birthday suits. Are those the pics I share on Facebook? Hell-to-the-no. I know Lauren‘s girls are not nude, but I’m saying this to say I know how it is to take a pic you think is THE cutest and you’re dying to share it with the world. But you don’t. For a lot of reasons, you just don’t. Or at least, I don’t.
In fact, I ALMOST didn’t post this pic on Facebook. The love of my life showed me this photo he took of our baby in a very random pose and he was like, it looks like one of your old faux modeling pics (because, yeah, my college friend and I used to have Facebook photo shoots– judge me if you will). He then went on his iPhone and e-mailed me this:
Because I was in the picture, I thought it looked a little less weird. Because I also try not to post pics of them in their diapers (I totally used to when big brother Jonovan was first born, but I’ve since stopped). I don’t have a concrete reason for these decisions; I do what I’m comfortable doing and respect that we all have varying levels of comfortability. And this picture was too funny not to share with the world.
And my 3-year old has totally ‘nursed’ a stuffed animal or two, and yeah, he used to ask me if he could “feed” his baby brother and then he’d bust out his little chest and I’d LMAO, and just save that image for myself. And now, for ya’ll apparently. But you don’t get pics. Because that’s just cray.
Ok, I’ve judged this woman enough. Although truthfully, I really think her intentions were somewhat innocent. What’s really interesting about all this is the fact that social media has made us desperate to share a helluva lot of information; even to a fault. And I lurve me some social media.
But aren’t there still some things that we can just keep to ourselves?
So, for some reason I can’t watch the video, I see the play button but it won’t let me click.
I can however see the blurry picture and I think it is 100% harmless. Seriously. I have seen WAY worse photo’s on FB, and no one bans those people.
My little guy tries to nurse anything with a nipple, heck I bet he’d nurse the cat if he saw one on her. Anytime my husband is not wearing a shirt he tries to nurse him, even thought he knows nothing comes out, he still tries any chance he gets.
I digress. It’s such a cute innocent picture I truly don’t get any hype about it. ?!?!
Though apparently I probably sit alone on this one.
Lulu, I just noticed the video isn’t playing so I’m working on it now!
Lulu, the vid should be working now.
@Lulu — The video is fixed
Oh, and thanks for all those ‘nursing’ digressions, LMAO! Those were great; I’ve totally been there.
Funny, I *just* took a picture last night of my girls in the bath, and the younger one was “rocking’ the older one like a baby. Hilarious, so cute, and I was wishing I could have shared it but I knew I couldn’t. They were naked in the tub! (even though you couldn’t see anything). This picture though is borderline to me. It seems to cross over into that whole “Breastfeeding is not obscene facebook!” that I have mommy friends complain about. It’s just little girls playing adult. Pretending to breastfeed a baby, and that is not obscene.
kat :) thanks for commenting. I don’t think the pic is obscene at all; I think it’s adorable and pretty funny and a really nice pic for her to look at alone or with Daddy, lol.
I have this great picture of my niece and nephew (4 and 5) playing in the bathtub together. While it is the cutest picture in the world, I understand that some things are best saved for family and close friends, not Facebook. I don’t think Facebook should have banned her though. Like the person said above me, I have seen pictures of men putting their balls on their sleeping friends and no one has banned them from FB. I bet one of this woman’s “friends” reported her.
*Great picture of you and your son, hilarious!
Sam, thanks for commenting and yeah– I bet you right about one of her Facebook friends reporting her. I’d be surprised if one of my friends shared something like this, although I wouldn’t want to see them banned (because yes, we’d need to ban a host of others as well).
Lol, my son is pretty cute. Here’s hoping his future Facebook photos are more appropriate than some of mine, lol :)
Also, if you hadn’t told me what was really going on, I would have assumed she was trying to blow a raspberry on her sis, which again, is harmless.
Yes, two little kids playing “mum and baby” is natural and harmless. But there are sickos out there that would like that picture in the wrong way, so it’s best not to share on the Internet. That’s my thought, anyhow.
Syslak, perception is everything here. And while we can’t protect our kids ENTIRELY from EVERYTHING in the world, we can do our best. I completely agree with you.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the picture, but I think some parents need to think more about respecting their kids’ privacy. Sharing the picture with close people in your life is understandable, but putting something on the internet? I don’t think people really realize the ramifications of putting pictures on the internet – you completely lose control of those images and how they’re spread and used. I don’t think it’s fair to do that to your child when it comes to a private family moment like this.
Ella! I’m so glad you thought to bring this up! We haven’t even talked about how the children might feel in the future or might feel about this now. Respecting a child’s right to privacy is a great reason to not do something like this. Thank you so much for commenting.
This is an entirely inappropriate picture for Facebook.
I think Ella is spot-on. The debate I think we should be having is whether or not it’s healthy (or respectful) to have our kids’ lives posted all over the internet before they’re old enough to consent to us broadcasting all that info about it.
I’m a mom of 3 girls and I get the urge to share all the precious moments with your friends and loved ones, I really do. But when my mommy friends go onto their blogs to post very public, detailed “letters” to their kids on their birthdays…I think it’s creepy.I write letters to my kids sometimes on theirbirthday, but with pen and ink, and they’re placed in a book for them to read when they’re grown up and have kids of their own.
I personally would have HATED it if my mom was broadcasting a blow-by-blow of my childhood somewhere. And we have no idea how the mommy-blog generation of kids will turn out.
The picture is fine and I’m sure it’s representative of a moment that mom just wanted to remember and laugh about with her friends/family. But I think facebook – with all it’s serious security concerns and creepy voyeurism – is the wrong forum for that kind of sharing.
I don’t think the ban was justified because the picture isn’t obscene in any way…I just seriously question the judgement of parents who do this to their kids.
I’m just wondering if it would have been such a big deal if the woman had her profile set to private so no one but her friends/family members could see it, though this would only matter if she only added those she actually knew to her friends list.
If that was the case-I wouldn’t see it as sharing it with everyone. Just those she knows. If she still got reported for the photo -by one of her friends- then that is their issue, not hers.
I don’t think the woman gave it much thought when posting-she probably just thought ‘Oh if I regret posting this later or want to remove it I can just delete it’. Don’t think it’s worth being banned, but then again-being banned for facebook isn’t the end of the world. It’s just a social website.
from* facebook not for.