Most of us still remember that now-infamous TIME magazine cover. You know which one. And if those women wanted visibility, they may very well be getting it (if not for themselves then for other moms with similar beliefs) via a new reality show from the wonderful people who brought you Dance Moms and American Stuffers (a show about pet… preservation). While the term “attachment parent” has not been used in conjunction with the women whose stories you’ll see on this show, all of the women are considered to be long-term breastfeeding mothers. None of the women from the TIME article are currently linked to the show, but we can assume that their stories have a lot to do with this. And I’m not sure if the concept is really cool, or really, ridiculously, unnecessary. Check out the deets with me inside.
Here’s what the New York Post has to say about the forthcoming project:
Breastfeeding’s big kids are coming out of the closet.
Collins Avenue, the production company behind “Dance Moms” and “American Stuffers,” is developing a reality series based on mothers who breastfeed older children — prompting local moms to speak up about the subject.“I didn’t set out to nurse a 3-year-old,” said Jessica Cary of Park Slope, whose daughter Olive continues to breastfeed. “But two years came and went. Now breastfeeding and mothering are so intertwined for me.”
Long-term breastfeeding moms often cite the World Health Organization, which encourages nursing until at least age 2. Neither WHO nor the American Academy of Pediatrics sets an upper limit on breastfeeding’s duration.
“Experienced pediatricians realize that the benefits of breastfeeding don’t just magically disappear after one year,” said Karen McGratty, a lactation consultant in Midwood who is nursing her 3-year-old son.
Most mothers of breastfeeding preschoolers let the child take the lead in weaning.
“At this point I don’t offer nursing, only give it to her when she requests it,” said Cary. That leads to a gradual reduction on the child’s own timetable.“You can’t force a child to breastfeed,” said one mother whose daughter self-weaned at age 7 and who asked not to be named so her child would not be subjected to schoolyard taunts. “If she’d wanted to stop any earlier she just would have.”
Read more here.
Now it’s not that I’m disinterested in this topic, but I think I really said all I could in that PITNB popCulture piece we did a while back. Honestly, I liked the TIME cover and loved what people were talking about as a result but, I just can’t get on board with he idea of a show centered on breastfeeding moms. Maybe that’s unfair, but I really think it will work to further alienate one “type” of mom from another. I believe in honest, open discourse– and I understand the value of the occasional shock-image (like the TIME cover). But this sounds like pure sensationalism and, as of right now, I’m just not feelin it!
Of course, I’d love to hear what you guys think. Do long-term breastfeeding moms need more visibility via a reality show, or is this the wrong route to go?
I just have such a hard time with the whole “they’ll stop breastfeeding when they decide they are ready” reasoning. Kids aren’t going to stop because it’s the only thing they’ve ever known, they are used to it and it seems normal for them. I don’t understand how they are then supposed to just decide “Oh, hey, I’m a big kid now. I should drink out of cups and maybe not drink my mother’s breastmilk. Juice would be nice…”
I disagree. My daughter nursed until she was past three. After she turned two, she didn’t nurse much. She nursed for comfort, mostly, and to stop her busy toddler day and have downtime with me. She might sometimes nurse more for a time, when she was sick, or teething, or having a growth spurt. I never offered, just followed her lead, and it generally decreased until one day I realized it had been a week, and then she never did again. She just stopped needing it. Toddlers ARE drinking out of a cup, and eating food. At that point, nursing isn’t about “drinking.” I agree with Kat about the show, what the heck will they do for half an hour? I could see a one-time special maybe, but a series?
@Ann- I have to disagree, kids will make the decision on their own. They won’t be in high school still wanting to nurse, they’ll know that none of their peers do it. I remember stopping sucking my fingers on my own- my mom tried EVERYTHING to get me to stop, and one day I realized I was too old. Not exactly the same, but still a comfort thing.
I’m all about extended breastfeeding, and really any type of parenting style, I just don’t think people need to flaunt it in other people’s faces. A reality show soley about breastfeeding? What the hell are you going to watch for the 30 minutes? Not only is it unnecessary, it also sounds like a silly show…
I have to wonder, do these mothers also let their children potty-train themselves and change their diapers until they’re 6 or 7 if the kids just don’t want to get up and go? What about cleaning their rooms or doing schoolwork or sharing their toys? Life is full of doing things you don’t want to and not doing things that you do – if kids aren’t taught that concept starting at a very young age then they will have a RUDE awakening as they get older.
Off of my soapbox and onto the show – I’m so tired of everyone and their mother getting a damn reality tv show! This one sounds ridiculous and boring, but I doubt it’ll be worse than Dance Moms or American Stuffers. But really, when they are making shows about taxidermy and breastfeeding you KNOW that Hollywood has run out of ideas.
@Amanda – I’m going to come at you like the radical inside me wants to ;) My first daughter self potty trained around 2. By 2 1/2 she was completely all toilet-business on her own(even at night), and by 3 years 11 months she stopped breastfeeding. After 3 years old she really fed erratically and only if she hurt herself or wanted a nice cuddle. At the end she was feeding more like once a week, then soon “forgot” how to, literally. One day she wanted to try again, after not for several weeks and her mouth didn’t remember how to do the suckling motion and no milk came out. It’s natural to lose the instinct after ceasing, and she was more than ready to. I didn’t withhold feeding her, she simply chose to not, despite having a younger sibling who, at that time, was constantly asking to feed.
She is now 6 1/2 and sure enough, she cleans her own room. Sometimes I have to remind her things don’t get shoved under the bed or in the closet, but she does it on her own. We home educate our children, and said 6 1/2 year old comes to ME on a daily basis asking what school work she can do. Some days she skips it, and opts for other types of education, as in real life education – negotiating the terms of toy usage and making rules surrounding how said toys should be used with her sibling. Most days, she asks me what we can learn, or to help her google something she’s interested in. And no, she’s not behind as far as standards go, she’s ahead in most for her “grade level” and on par with the rest – all on her own without a teacher or anything! *shock horror!*
If you think that YOU have to dictate and make ALL the rules for children to learn, you are wrong. Children learn through example, and they do have enough sense to know what is right and what is wrong. Children and adults alike have an amazing ability to LEARN on their own, with no one else dictating the terms of it.
RE TV show : I don’t think it’s drastic, because I’ve lived it, but I do feel that it could go horribly wrong on TV. That said, anything could go horribly wrong on tv. It could do a world of good by showing the masses that breastfeeding isn’t really weird. Being exposed to it could help with its general acceptance as being “normal”(whatever that is!) and increasing the rates as more people might try it, and might even keep on extended feeding once they see it’s not about coddling your 2-3-4-5 year old and forcing them to your breast in some weird over-bearing motherly way. :)
anecdotal evidence is a funny thing. ask any given mom on any mom board or celebrity doctor tv show and they are begging someone to help them potty train their 3 year old. and i still don’t clean my room. i tidy when i know i will have company, that’s it. every kid is different and it sounds like in many areas you were lucky. but most moms these days don’t have the luxury to stay at home and hope their kid self-weans or hopes that the kid shows an interest in getting out of diapers when it gets to be too much for a parent to take.
Maybe it isn’t about getting the kids out of diapers/nappies so much as it is about why we put them in them in the first place, and why they are used for so long in our culture. Personally I feel they are used out of laziness and “potty training” happens far later than it should. In my experience as a nanny and a parent, babies are ready much earlier than our society suggests. Maybe the problem is waiting too long.
Of course not all moms are able to stay home, in fact I was back at work for a while and still continued to breastfeed. It’s not rocket science – toddlers don’t demand feeding as often as a baby. Extending their feeding until they are comfortable can happen for years regardless of being a stay at home parent or not.
I will go out there and say that I absolutely hate the Times cover and the thought of a show. The Times article titles itself “Are you mom enough”. This suggest that others aren’t. That is horrible. As a new mother I gave it my all to breastfeed to the detriment of my relationship with my baby girl and my mental health. We had issues latching so I pumped, we had issues with colic so I stopped eating certain things, we had issues with supply so I supplemented. This happened while I was battling baby blues and depression. I kept going because I knew family and friends would think I wasn’t mom enough if I quit. I am all for breastfeeding if it works for the family, but if it doesn’t why suggest someone isn’t good enough?
Can this be shoved down our throats more please? I’m all for whatever you want to do, but I really don’t care that much unless I’m trying to educate and inform myself. And I highly doubt this’ll be an educational thing to help mothers who want to make the choice to breastfeed and then extend it.
very nice
Mother may ask her son.If, she can breastfeeding her son. or he ask her.If she can give him one. Man and woman who are marry.he may ask her.If he can suck her breastfeeding. or woman ask him to suck her breastfeeding. I do’nt know. If woman feel good about it.