Someone Seriously Made An Anti-Cheating Wedding Ring

True Story

It sounded like a complete joke but seeing as how the ring costs $550 I’m going to assume that this is kind of the real deal. TheCheeky.com is here to help you solve one of the biggest issues (supposedly) that married couples face: infidelity. The titanium wedding band appears traditional on the outside but is engraved on the inside with the words I’M MARRIED, sure to leave an imprint on the fingers of any man with wandering eyes… and various other body parts. If I could, I would make this the second That-Ish-Cray Of The Day, but we already have one and it’s against PITNB policy to have two. So for now this is just pure, unadulterated (pun intended), ridiculousness.

Here’s how the ring stops husbands from cheating:

See that imprint? He ain’t goin’ nowhere.

And here’s the product description from TheCheeky.com

With Arnold, Tiger and two timing IMF guy in mind, we have created this wedding ring for people intent on cheating. The negative engraving on the inside means that when you are in the ‘Club’ and an attractive woman…or man comes along to chat, slipping your wedding ring off is not an option. The mark left on your skin says…’I’m Married’

 

Sidenote: I love how they put apostrophes around ‘Club’!

So there you have it, problem solved! Right? Uh. Methinks not. Methinks I completely agree with the NPR writer who brought me to this strange, sad place:

Any couple who feels they have to have their marital status branded on their flesh like Texas longhorns to guarantee good behavior should probably ask themselves if they really ought to get married.

Besides, I wonder if this branding ring just wouldn’t have the reverse effect.

Reille Hunter has written a book, sort of, in which she says that when they first got involved, John Edwards told her he had already had three mistresses, stationed in Illinois, California and Florida.

His claim to having multiple mistresses, in states with a plenitude of electoral votes, may merely be pre-pillow talk. But the idea that John Edwards owned up to having a three-ring circus in his personal life while he was already married to one of the most admired women in America apparently did not deter him or Reille Hunter from philandering.

Has it ever? Let’s review a little history. In fact, let’s just review history.

Did Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor really think one another single and unattached? For that matter, did the real Cleopatra think Julius Caesar was a footloose Roman bachelor? Did Anne Boleyn ever bellow at Henry VIII, “Married? You never told me you were married!”

Did Monica Lewinsky think President Clinton lived in the White House just with Socks and Buddy, his cat and dog? Did the Prince of Wales ever tell Camilla Parker-Bowles while they dallied, “Oh, that indentation around my ring finger? It’s from my polo mallet!”

We could go on. For some people, wedding rings are merely bells that ring out, “Yoo hoo!”

Read more here.

Now that’s Real Talk for ya. I remember being in high school and there was this kid who I could not stand! And one day he had a girlfriend and she had a cold and he was running around trying to find her some cough medicine. We were engaged a few years later (then un-engaged a few years after that). Up until that day, I never knew he had a girlfriend. And suddenly (aka as a result of learning that he had a girlfriend), I thought he was SO cute! Messed up right? Well all I can say for myself is I grew out of that (I’d like to think) and don’t immediately become attracted to someone in a relationship. Which is something that, you could argue, a lot of women do. And for whatever reason I keep hearing Avril Lavigne‘s Hey hey you you/I don’t like your girlfriend song in my head right now. Great song and great moral quandary. Like the ring (and the NPR writer, Scott Simon‘s interpretation of it), the song makes you wonder: Are women more attracted to men who are in relationships? Or do they just not give an eff?

Who would you gift this ring to? I’d gift it to myself. Because I’m not married and it’s funnier that way.

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  1. If any couple thinks that is necessary, they really shouldn’t be getting married in the first place.

  2. MOTM

    First, experience has taught me, it’s not just slimeballs that cheat. The assumption it is a particular “type” is just folks trying to assure themselves it won’t happen to them. (Sorry, can happen to anyone) Second, being that I’ve been divorced for two years and can still can see (though faint now) outline of my wedding band, this would suck. LOL

  3. Ama

    …Okay?

    Honestly, I don’t think this will have the effect the people think it will XD I know when I check a guys finger to see if he has a ring, I’m not going to look any further then for the ring(wedding band). I doubt people are going to grab someone’s hand and inspect their ring finger to see if it has a ‘married’ imprint on it.

    Looks like it would be hard to see unless someone is looking for it or looking really closely at the person’s skin. At least from that picture it doesn’t look like it’s very ‘bold’ or will last long.

    That being said- As another mentioned, if people assume their spouse is going to cheat or are so concerned about it, they shouldn’t get married. The reason why infidelity happens so much in married couples is because(at least in my opinion):

    -People assume too much and do so much assuming but not enough talking. Which leads to trust between the couple becoming thin

    - People rush into marriage and think they need to marry right away. Usually for wrong reasons.

  4. rOXy

    Puhleeze! Is this for real? Like a wedding band or being married is gonna stop a ho from being a ho. LOL.

  5. ChristineLA

    Okay, this completely cracks me up. I can totally imagine people avoiding all salt and flushing their system with water to avoid bloating, which would likely cut down on the word “married” showing up on their finger at all. Forget alcohol. In fact, this ring could actually prove to be a very big incentive to a healthy diet. People will never stop making me laugh.

    “OMG, my husband is off salt, he must be cheating on me!”

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