Good news, y’all … Michael Lohan is still in jail! As you may recall, Lohan was arrested twice this week for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend Kate Major and then for attempting to contact her after he was released from jail for that first arrest. Lohan went before the ruling judge in an attempt to be freed again but was brutally rebuffed. The judge was not impressed by Daddy Lohan’s sob story so … she revoked his bond and sent his sorry ass back to jail. Hallelujah! The streets are safe from one Lohan right now.
Michael Lohan was true to form when he appeared in court today, making crazy excuses that an angry judge didn’t buy … so Michael’s gonna stay in jail for a while. Michael — who allegedly violated a restraining order and then tried to escape cops and falling four stories — spoke to the judge from the jail on a monitor. Michael, who was in a wheelchair and handcuffs (see above), had his lawyer explain there are three reasons why Mr. Lohan needed his freedom:
1. He’s got some TV shoot with Dr. Drew
2. Lindsay’s hearing is coming up on Wednesday
3. He’s got an upcoming celebrity boxing match with Tareq Salahi.
Surprise — the judge wasn’t moved, but was VERY upset at M.L. Kate Major testified against Michael, crying as she told the judge about Michael’s incessant calling. Michael is being held without bail.
I mean … the wheelchair seems a bit like overkill, don’t you think? I love how totally unimpressed the judge was with Lohan’s bullshizz:
This man is a complete and utter MESS. It may sound harsh but I think Michael Lohan needs to be in jail for a while … and, the world will be a safer, less annoying place. I guess we’ll find out next week if his daughter Lindsay Lohan will join him in a jail cell of her own. She goes back to court to answer charges that she violated her probation. I mean … can you believe any of this? OY!