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Okay … now this is getting out of hand. Not only has Jesus Luz been able to parlay his relationship, whatever it may be, with Madonna to further his modeling and DJing careers but — apparently — he’s also been able to get a record deal as well. That’s right, a new report out today reveals that Jesus just signed a deal with Warner Bros. Records (Maddy‘s old record company) to release a debut single this Summer:

MADONNA’s toyboy JESUS LUZ has signed a record deal – and will release a single by the summer. I’d like to say he managed to secure the contract all on his own thanks to his amazing talents. But the almighty herself put in more than a word. The Queen Of Pop used all her might and muscle to get the model – who flaunted his own muscle on the beach in Rio de Janeiro yesterday – signed up by her former label Warners. The Brazilian’s first single We Came From Light will be issued in the first half of May. Protective Madge had to make some uncharacteristic concessions to secure its release. She rarely gives permission for any of her iconic back catalogue to be used in adverts. But in order to get execs to sign up her fella, she relented and classics Vogue and Like A Prayer have been licensed for a major advertising campaign Stateside. A source said: “Madonna was determined to give Jesus all the help she can. She holds a lot of sway at Warners, where she had a deal until very recently. But getting him on the books wasn’t completely plain-sailing. There was a little give and take between her and execs, but a compromise was eventually settled upon.” Jesus has a two-single deal, with the label allowed first refusal on an album as well. An initial version of the club track featured vocals from her Madgesty herself, but that’s unlikely to get a full release. It’s more likely to feature as a B-side or on a remix. Generous Madonna has also been covering all of Jesus’s expenses, including his hefty studio costs. And she been calling on other old pals, including legendary remixer VICTOR CALDERONE. The dance music heavyweight has had a long association with Madonna, retooling much of her back catalogue, such as Frozen and American Pie. And he’s been busy toying around with Jesus’s tracks. The source added: “Madonna really wants Jesus’s career to take off. She’s been going through her Filofax and putting him in contact with as many of her influential pals as she can. She’s worked with Victor for a very long time and he understands just what she likes. Having him rejig Jesus’s tracks will give them a cool cachet which is essential to building a clubland buzz.”

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! I, for one, am VERY happy to hear this (hopefully true) news. I cannot WAIT to hear these “singles” from Jesus Luz. Oh, it’s not that I think they are going to be club-bangers … I’m fairly certain they are going to be tragic embarrassments. Lord … it’s bad enough that Madonna has been putting out her own bad music (let’s be honest, Hard Candy was not a spectacular album) but now she’s orchestrating the release of MORE bad music … from Jesus Luz?! OY!! Bring it on, Jesus. I’m dying to hear what you’ve got.

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