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Okay, I’m gonna need y’all do do me a favor. Please make sure you are not snacking or nibbling on anything, nor are chewing on any pens or pencils while reading this post. I don’t want any of y’all to choke to death on the ridiculousness of Jennifer Lopez‘s comments in the new issue of Latina magazine. J. Lo is featured on the cover and in the pages of the newest issue of the mag and in her coverstory interview, she talks about how shocked she was not to be nominated for an Academy Award in the film El Cantante … you’re not choking, right? Read on …

“I feel like I had that [Oscar-worthy role] in El Cantante, but I don’t even think the Academy members saw it. I feel like it’s their responsibility to do that, to see everything that’s out there, everything that could be great … Well, it is a little bit frustrating. It was funny; when the Oscars were on, I had just given birth on the 22nd, and the Oscars, I think, were a day or two later. I was sitting there with my twins — I couldn’t have been happier — but I was like, ‘How dope would it have been if I would’ve won the Oscar and been here in my hospital bed accepting the award?’ ‘Thank you so much! I just want to thank the Academy!’ But we joked about it. It’s all good.”

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I’m, um, sorry but … BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I can’t, um, even really think properly right now … HAHAHAHAHAHAHA … but after the jump, check out a few more nuggets from J. Lo‘s interview with Latina magazine …

On Her Feelings While Seeing Former Romantic Interests Featured in Her Work:
“Exposed? Vulnerable? Do I cringe? [Laughs] No, no, it’s a literal snapshot. Every one of my albums is very spot-on with who I was at the time. I’ve always been a person who is guided by my gut, my heart, and I love that about myself. I think the day I don’t do that is when I lose my way. I can’t regret the things I did in the past, like putting somebody in a video that I was with. Who cares? I think people relate to me because they know that I’m not being phony.”

On Past Relationships:
I think I was very focused on what I was doing in my life at the time. No one tells you that you have to work so hard at it. There’s a certain notion of the fairy tale that you talk about in your head, like, “If this is not working, then it’s not working, we’re not meant to be together.” But you don’t find Prince Charming where everything is perfect—like you’re never gonna fight, you’re never gonna disagree, you’re never gonna have opposing points of view. That’s ridiculous, and it doesn’t exist. You get to a point where you say, “I need to work on myself—and if I love this person, I’m gonna work on myself, and if he loves me, he’s gonna work on himself.”

Marriage to Marc Anthony:
“That’s how I know that this relationship is worth it, because a lot of people walk away too easily. But to take that step and actually get married—and I’ve done it three times, and two times were, you know, not good for me or for them—I’m gonna take it seriously. We’re gonna go through hard times, but we’re gonna work through them, and that’s what we try to do. It’s easy to throw your hands up, but those things leave scars.” “Everything is great about my marriage. First and foremost, we love each other, truly love each other in a way that’s very deep and meaningful, not in a superficial sort of way. There’s a deep respect, admiration and love for each other. We honestly believe that we make each other better people…We force each other to be better, and I think in a relationship, that’s how it should be. You shouldn’t be with somebody if he makes you feel less than who you are.”

On Fame:
“Your world becomes smaller, so yeah, it is a weird reality. You stop doing things like having a key in your pocket, opening the door for yourself because you become so busy. All of a sudden, somebody takes that over for you. You do lose touch a little bit; anybody who says they don’t is a liar. Your life is not like a person who goes to work, opens their door, goes to the grocery store. I lived that life for 20-something years, and now my life is different, but I have my foot in both worlds. I have found myself lately saying it needs to be more simple. I can’t have all these people around, especially once you have children. I’ve been able to always keep a good perspective. I’ve never, thank God, gone completely off into the stratosphere. I’m not saying I haven’t had my moments [laughs], but I’m always able to come back.”

On the Future:
“The experience of living is very important for an artist, for somebody who has to express those emotions. I feel I’m about to leave my whole life behind and go to the next thing. I really mean that: Bye-bye, house; bye-bye, everything. Next thing, here I come. Let’s go. Maybe a year and a half ago, I wasn’t ready, but now I am. There’s no tentativeness, no doubt, no fear.”

OMG … I’m not even kidding … I wasn’t even eating or chewing on anything and I still almost choked to death. Bless Jennifer Lopez‘s little heart, she’s a pistol ain’t she? LOL.

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