Michael Lohan To Launch His Own Energy Drink

"[Lindsay] needs Koga in her life. It'll help her focus."

Michael Lohan, estranged father of Lindsay Lohan who has recently been on a crusade to see his troubled daughter thrown in to jail/rehab or placed under court-ordered conservatorship, took a break from feasting off of his daughter’s notorious legal woes to announce the release of his very own energy drink. Lohan has partnered up with fitness guru John Koga to launch Koga Energy Drink, which is due to hit “9000 stores” this Summer:

Michael Lohan is putting his daughter Lindsay’s troubles aside and teaming up with fitness expert John Koga to launch Koga Energy Shots along with Stacker 2. The slogan for the 6-hour power shot is priceless … “Feel it fast. Energy that lasts. No crash.” Lohan tells X17 exclusively, “John Koga has been a friend of mine for years. I just signed a major deal to be a part of this new Koga energy drink. Right off the bat, it’s going to be sold in 9000 stores. Koga Energy Shot will be out by this summer. We’re also doing a line of clothing and workout gear to go along with it.” After the week Michael’s had, something tells us he’ll be pounding a case of those shots! As for Lindsay, he tells us, “She needs Koga in her life. It’ll help her focus.” FYI…KOGA also stands for kickboxing and yoga.

LMAOO!! You knew that Daddy Lohan couldn’t go 5 seconds without mentioning his famous daughter’s name … especially when he’s got a new product to try and promote. I guess Michael has come to realize that fighting his daughter in the press doesn’t always pay the bills. I cannot imagine anyone wanting to partner with Michael Lohan on any business endeavor … if there is one thing that would absolutely make me run SCREAMING from any product, it’s an association with Michael Lohan. I suppose we should be happy that he appears to have a real job at least … that’s kinda something, right? What do y’all think … would YOU spend your hard-earned money on this new energy drink of Daddy Lohan‘s?

[Photo credit: X17; Source]

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  1. ausettofegypt


  2. z

    Dear “Daddy” (I use the term vvveeerrryyy losely) Lohan,

    Please jump into a blackhole in the furtherest corner of the universe (because in my mind that is finally far enough) and never come out!



  3. Val 2.0

    Does it taste like desperation or douchebag?

  4. z

    @ Val 2.0 it’s probably both =D!

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