Rihanna Tells Her Full Story To ‘20/20’
On Thursday, singer Rihanna spoke a bit about the assault she endured at the hands of ex-boyfriend Chris Brown and then on Friday, she spoke a bit more. Last night on 20/20, Rihanna told her entire story to Diane Sawyer and the 8.2 million folks watching on TV … her story is a harrowing one … but also a brave one. Here are a few screencaps from her powerful interview and some excerpts from her 20/20 interview:
In a tremendously moving and articulate interview with 20/20, Rihanna gave her first full-length statements about her assault by Chris Brown in February. Describing the beating she suffered in a car with Brown, the singer said that when he beat her, “He had no soul in his eyes… It was almost like he had nothing to lose.” Speaking to Diane Sawyer, Rihanna said of Brown’s remorse afterward, “He’d say, ‘You hate me, don’t you?’ and I would lie and say, ‘No.’” That was a chilling moment, one among many. Sawyer showed Rihanna online videos of people — fans? — saying that she must have provoked Brown. Sawyer paraphrased their sentiments: “They say, ‘Did she bait him? Rile him?’” Rihanna said bluntly of such questions, “It’s ignorance.” Demonstrating a maturity and thoughtfulness about her experience, Rihanna noted, “With fame comes a lot of things, and the most dangerous is freedom… no boundaries.” At the same time, she said that when she’s shown the pictures of her battered face from that night, “I get very ashamed, angry… embarrassed… You start lying to yourself, blaming yourself… I didn’t want people looking at me. I felt really lonely.” She claimed never to have heard the song Brown supposedly recorded for her called “Changed Man.” When Sawyer showed her the internet apology Brown issued and asked the singer’s reaction, Rihanna said simply, “It sounds like he might be reading off a teleprompter… I don’t know if he understood the extent of what he did.” Rihanna explained the fight’s source: ”I caught him in a lie,” when she saw a text message from another woman. “I wouldn’t drop it, and he couldn’t take that.” She described their love as “dangerous… It was a bit of an obsession.” The awful pressure that is placed upon celebrities to be role models was made clear when she said, “My selfish desire for love could result in some young girl getting killed. I could not be easy with that, responsible for that.” How terrible that this woman should have to bear that weight in addition to what happened to her. That’s one of the biggest flaws of current pop culture — the notion that celebrities must set an example for others. Rihanna went so far as to say to Sawyer, “I’m glad it happened to me, because now I can help young girls when it happens to them.” Sawyer asked if she “hated” Brown. She replied, “I want him to do well, to have a good career… and to grow up.”
I cannot even express how impressed I was with Rihanna’s interview last night … she was thoughtful, sure, honest and bold in her statements. You could tell how uncomfortable she was talking about certain aspects of her ordeal but you could also tell how confident she was that she was doing the right thing. I am so glad that ABC decided to air portions of Rihanna’s interview over two days and one night … the wider her story is spread, the more likely that her message will reach those who desperately need to hear it. After the jump, watch Rihanna’s entire 20/20 interview online …
It was clearly evident to me that Rihanna was being as bare-boned honest as she could be … I imagine it is not easy to talk about the horror that she endured and, yet, she boldly told her story for all the world to hear. Detractors will, once again, place blame on her at every turn — saying she instigated/deserved what she got, saying she is capitalizing on the timing of the interview — but I vehemently believe that NO person deserves to be hit, under any circumstances, EVER! Never once during her interview did she talk about her new album or did any promo for any of her endeavors. I actually yelled out loud with glee when Diane Sawyer asked Rihanna what she wanted to hear from Chris Brown and her response was, “Nothing.” IMHO, Chris Brown is scum and while I believe in redemption, I feel she will be better off to never allow him back in her life. She seems well aware that there are countless young women out there who look up to her and she wants to be the best example that she can be … having endured a brutal assault, she seems adamant that she wants to do whatever she can to offer help to others in need. I not only applaud Rihanna, I have the utmost respect for her. Again, it is my sincerest wish that her message reaches as many people as possible … mebbe her experience can help someone else save themselves from a deadly situation. Thank you Rihanna for speaking out … I’m sure there are many people out there who will benefit from your words.
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November 7th, 2009 at 10:32 am
I wholeheartedly agree Trent. I watched it all could not believe how strong she was in telling her story and sharing her thoughts & feelings. I have so much more respect for her now that I did before. She is truly an amazing role model to the rest of the world.
November 7th, 2009 at 10:40 am
Trent, Jessica, don’t agree. I’m a little disgusted with Rihanna. If she really did care about helping other abused girls, or about herself for that matter, she would have spoken up after it happened. NOT a few weeks before her album drops, and her lackluster single is struggling on the radio.
Its upsetting that nowadays in Hollywood, even something as awful as spousal abuse is whats needed to gain some PR and buzz to make sales. Just seems a little too convenient for me, and for that reason, I refuse to take her seriously, and whether or not she even really cares about people, or herself
November 7th, 2009 at 10:42 am
I agree. This had to be incredibly painful to share with the world but I believe she did it because she thought it would help others in similar situations, not for her own gain. I believe people can change and I hope this motivates Chris Brown to do so.
November 7th, 2009 at 10:49 am
Shyguy, it’s not up to you to decide when it’s appropriate for her to speak about what she went through. She doesn’t owe it to you, me or anyone to talk about what happened. She decided that something good should come out of this situation and like Trent said if one person is helped by her words than it’s worth it.
November 7th, 2009 at 10:54 am
@Shyguy — I truly hope you or anyone you love does not fall victim to domestic abuse because I’d hate for you to feel pressure to talk about your ordeal when others feel it is appropriate rather than when you are ready to open up. You are blessed to have such a luxury. May karma be kinder to you than you are being to those who have been abused.
November 7th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Trent you hit it on the spot. Rihanna was so brave in this interview, so candid. You have no idea how happy I was to see her not hold back and just talk about anything and everything. I have always been a mild supporter of her music but this interview just made me like her even more as a role model to young women. Lastly, to people saying that they believe that she is finally speaking out right before her drops need to step back and look at the situation. A victim doesn’t have to talk about anything if they are not ready to speak. She feels like now is that time and I will be there to support our girl all the way. :)
November 7th, 2009 at 11:08 am
@shyguy it’s not easy talking about something that traumatic right after it happened. as she mentioned before, she didn’t want to think about, she didn’t want to talk about it to anyone. not even her friends, her mom etc. why would she want to go on TV and talk about it? i think you have some growing up to do and once you go through something as traumatic as hers, you come back and tell us if you want to talk about it right away
November 7th, 2009 at 11:24 am
I agree with all your points, and I’m not being insensitive, Trent, I have seen tons of different abuse with friends, family and friends of friends, so I know its hard and its difficult. BUT, in true typical Hollywood fashion, she interviews 2 weeks before her album drops. For me it just seems convenient and it takes away from the importantness of the situtation, and just seems like a PR ploy. I don’t mean to be insensitive, and I’m sorry everyone if it came off that way, rereading it, it did seem cold, so again i apologize. i am just sickened at the thought of her possibly ONLY talking about it to get the buzz/promotion before her album comes out. That makes me hate hollywood and disgusts me that people use other people’s pain, misery and struggles for their own personal gain. I pray that Rihanna really did just need time to grow and heal and be strong enough to talk about it, and not because her people told her to wait until her album comes out to go on interviews talk about it. But, unfortunately, I don’t think its the former.
November 7th, 2009 at 11:26 am
I am still amazed that anyone can see another side to this black and white issue. I am a firm believer in the gray area for most things but not when it comes to domestic violence. All women should use a ZERO tolerance policy – that’s just the bottom line. I applaud Rihanna so much for being brave and turning this incredibly painful ordeal into something positive for herself and for other young women who might look up to her.
I feel like a broken record sometimes but I keep freaking hearing people say that Rihanna “must have provoked him” or other insane stuff about how she’s just “trying to get back at him” and it is seriously making me insane. HE BEAT HER AND CHOKED HER AND BIT HER! That photo of her bloody and bruised and battered and ashamed and afraid was not fake! Even if it was only the one time, which I tend to doubt, it does not matter! Once is too many times!
I so worry for young girls out there if they really believe that kind of crap – that anything makes it okay for a man to do that to a woman. What is it that makes people want to take Chris Brown’s side? I just don’t get it. He should be grateful his ass isn’t in jail and just hole himself up somewhere out of sight rather than keep on trying to force this come back down our throats. Please listen to Rihanna girls! If he did it once, he’ll do it again. GET AWAY AND GET HELP NOW.
November 7th, 2009 at 11:28 am
The reason she is addressing it now is because it’s the elephant in the room while she is promoting her new album. Why should her life have to stop because this happened to her? Should she put her career on hold or what? She was going to be asked this question in all these interviews anyway so better to take control of the situation and just address it herself. That’s what the timing was about – nothing more.
November 7th, 2009 at 11:33 am
There is no protocol or handbook on how to react once you have become a victim of domestic violence. It is easy to judge the actions of others and say how you would handle things, but you never know until g-d forbid, you are that person, so for anyone to pass negative judgement on her is just bogus. Rhianna is an incredibly brave woman for sharing her story when in reality, it is nobody’s business but her own.
November 7th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Yes, because there was no elephant in the room the past 9 months. She could have talked about it any time before now, she could talk about it after her album comes out, or she can choose to never talk about it, and just keep it to her self. @Monica, are you her publicist? Are you sure its nothing more? It sounds like a PR stunt to help her sell records, because its coming out a few weeks before the album drops. Granted, there is “no good time” to really talk about it, because its so important/sensitive a subject, but talking about it now before the release of her album/singles just makes her lost a little credibility because it does look like a cheap ploy to exploit domestic abuse to sell albums
November 7th, 2009 at 11:42 am
No but I used to work in PR so I know that besides just laying low after a trauma, she probably wasn’t doing any press these past months because she had nothing to promote. Now that she has an album coming out, press is part of the deal, so she probably tried to figure out the best way to address the situation. She could have just kept it to herself and told every interviewer that the topic was off limits but instead she chose to speak out. I don’t see how that’s a cheap ploy at all. Also, I am not even a fan of Rihanna’s music really but objectively speaking, I really don’t think she needs help selling records. She was crazy popular before this happened and if anything, this incident could have damaged her career and reputation so good for her for not letting that happen.
November 7th, 2009 at 11:57 am
@Shyguy — You’re right she “could’ve” done a lot of things … but in the end she decided to go on national TV now to tell her story and warn others of the dangers of domestic violence … I, personally, do not care when she tells this story, no matter the circumstances … as long as one person who needs to hear her story hears it, it’s all worth it. No matter the criticism, cynicism and outright ignorant bullshit hurtled her way — any time an abuse survivor speaks out is the right time to speak out.
November 7th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Monica, I agree. She was able to just lay low for 9 months after this shitty thing happened. But now she’s got to get back into the public sphere because of her album and the subject is bound to come up, so she’s taking the bull by the horns. I applaud this incredibly strong young woman and hope other girls (and older women too) in the same situation can learn from her!
November 7th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
@Shyguy I don’t agree with your statement that there is “no good time” to open up about domestic abuse. I think ANY TIME a victim chooses to speak out is the RIGHT time. There is no such thing as a wrong time or an inappropriate time, whether it is months or decades after the fact. In fact, many women keep silence their entire lives, further perpetuating the cycle. Being critical of those who are brave enough to speak out is only doing harm to the countless victims who choose to remain silent. Healing and grieving is a long, painful process and there is no right or wrong way to do it. This is RIHANNA’S experience (not yours, the not public’s), and she is choosing to cope with it in the way that is best for her.
November 7th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
Pr is the thing that make stars now. Stars have no talent they use pr agents to sell them.
They are exploiting this story to sell her album.
The hard sell is coming because she don’t have too many more chances since she is about broke.
November 7th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
this is all so sad, but the worst part in all this is that …she still loves him and it shows. and i wouldnt be surprised if in a couple years from now..they got back together.
November 7th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
okay, let’s be honest. if rihanna was not “rihanna” she would be talking about this publicly. Trent, i agree that she should talk about her ordeal when she sees fit, but no one’s healing process includes a network interview with diane sawyer. this isn’t part of what she needs to do to move on, this is something horrible that happened that is being turned into a “positive” by her people only because it coincides with her album release.
November 7th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
she would NOT be talking about this publicly.*
November 7th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
it nearly makes me cry when she tells diana that she IS strong and it happened to her. i hope that she continues to grow and mature and live through this and eventually find happiness with someone who will love and respect her.
November 7th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Maribella, shy guy, come on! Are you seriously not seeing the sense in some of the other commenters’ posts (like Monica)?
She was obviously going to have to either talk or not talk. Not talking at all would have been both cowardly (due to the good she could do by discussing domestic violence) and impracical (no matter what you tell journalists, many of them will push the topic). She did not want to talk about this terrible trauma before, and she had no professional need to talk to the press in any capacity, which you might have noticed SHE DID NOT. About *anything* at all, even though I’m sure her many sponsors would have loved some of her time.
I think this was a conscious decision, because as others have said, before starting press for her new album – again, BEFORE – she chose to address this delicate subject in the manner she herself saw fit. This way, she’s talked about it a little while after it happened – and hopefully it was slightly less painful to talk about it once a little time had passed. This way, she can really close the subject, tell journalists she’s said all she has to say on that specific incident, and get on with her promotion.
So yes, it is going to make news and remind people that Rihanna exists. She did not, as Trent said, promote her new musical offerings in the interview, but since it’s raising awareness of her, it will presumably help her career somewhat. What’s your point? Do you really see a better way for her to have handled the situation?
I actually think it’s a bit disgusting that people are wasting keystrokes ragging on Rihanna because she got beaten up, has an album to release, and you don’t agree with the consequences of those two facts coming together. Grow a pair and write a paragraph on something more worthwhile. Chris Brown, maybe?
November 7th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
wow. seriously? y is there such a debate on this? its all celebrity gossip, and everyones oppinion. im glad she spoke. i mean the timing is whatever, she finally said something. and that was alot. i could imagine that it took alot of guts to speak out and publicly. she didnt have to but she did, she seamt pretty sincere. and thats it. who cares if shes trying to promote her album. im not gonna buy just because she said something. i think even if it is about that its not the big point. it can help someone or not. it can help her or not. either way she spoke out.
November 7th, 2009 at 6:40 pm
@Shyguy and anyone else who thinks she should’ve spoken up ASAP. Domestic violence is a hard thing to be the victim of let alone get past that denial of “Oh, I must’ve done SOMETHING wrong for them to hurt me so bad” and it takes time for the truth to come to you. That you didn’t do anything wrong and that the person who inflicted the violence was in the wrong.
I give her major credit for sorting out her life so she can make rational statements on national television instead of coming fresh out of the heat of the moment.
I know from experience that it’s a vicious cycle and this will scar her for the rest of her life. Don’t judge her for being brave enough to share her ordeal with everyone in the hopes that other women (or men!) will stand up for themselves and NOT fall victim to this horrid crime.
November 7th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
“I wouldn’t drop it and he couldn’t take that”
That really resonates with me.
November 7th, 2009 at 10:47 pm
Yesterday my best friend told me what happened to her just last week. her boyfriend was drunk and tried to choke her. i know her boyfriend and he is one of the nicest guys, but it still happened. she loved him; they were together for 2 years. but when i heard about what she went through, i was disgusted. she told me that rihanna’s interview helped her realize that she couldnt be with him no matter what. she still loves him and she didnt want to, but now she realizes what she needs to do. so honestly, i dont care whether Rihanna spoke out now, even if it was to promote her album. it helped my best friend knowing she wasnt the only one.
November 7th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
and of course she broke up with him
November 7th, 2009 at 11:41 pm
i too was amazed by the honest candor displayed by riri. i like her even more. if more people could be open and honest with their feelings the world would be a better place. it does not matter when one is abused when they speak up. everything happens for a reason and in the timing it is supposed to happen.
November 8th, 2009 at 3:22 am
I am incredibly impressed by how brave Rhianna has been in this interview. She has my complete respect for the way she has addressed this so candidly, and for the reasons behind her actions. I would also like to third what Monica said about the timing.. that is obviously why she hasn’t spoken about it before and why she is talking about it now, I cannot see how anybody could see an ulterior motive in her addressing this now… to say things like that belittles what she has been through and is completely disrespectful and ignorant.
November 8th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Maribella, if she” wasn’t Rihanna” ?? Really?? I’m sure you realize that women, famous and non-famous, are beat up by their husbands and boyfriends everyday. Is her story any less real because “she is Rihanna”?? I don’t think this is a PR stunt; I think its a statement that she has to make so that she can move on with her life and her career. People and the press have been talking about this since it happened 9 months ago, and if she doesn’t get out in front of the story now it will just continue to dog her. She said herself that five years from now, she doesn’t want to be thought of as “the one that go beat up by Chris Brown”. And if it gets her publicity, so what! If you want to blame someone for the publicity, blame Chris Brown. If he hadn’t beat the h*ll out of her, none of this would be happening.
November 8th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
While I commend Rihanna for speaking out about her abuse, I have to question the timing. I whole-heartedly agree with the previous posters who have said that she and other abuse survivors should be able to talk about it whenever they feel comfortable with talking about it. HOWEVER, I find it … interesting that she would choose now to talk about it, and she just happens to be releasing a new album and a new single. Again, I’m not saying she shouldn’t talk about it, I just think the timing of it all is really questionable.
November 8th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
@Sarah Jane — What is questionable about the timing? Now that the media is focused on her professionally, she is using the platform to talk about domestic abuse. Sounds like very good timing to me.