Yesterday we learned from Life & Style magazine that married couple of 3 years, Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley, have split up and in the wake of that report comes official confirmation of the split from Ms. Lavigne herself. Avril posted a short message on her official website yesterday confirming the fact that she Deryck are separating … so bust out the sporks, y’all … cuz these two are really, truly dunzo:
Moving forward on a positive note
Posted September 17th, 2009 by avriladmin
Deryck and I have been together for 6 and a half years. We have been friends since I was 17, started dating when I was 19, and married when I was 21. I am grateful for our time together, and I am grateful and blessed for our remaining friendship. I admire Deryck and have a great amount of respect for him. He is the most amazing person I know and I love him with all my heart. Deryck and I are separating and moving forward on a positive note.
Thank you to all my family, friends and fans for all your support.
Avril
I guess I just don’t understand the need to be married at such a young age … even tho many people enjoy happy and successful marriages after marrying young, I can’t help but feel that your late teens/early 20s should be about personal discovery rather than settling down with one person in contractual matrimony. This is not to knock those who choose to marry young, I’m just saying that I don’t personally understand it. I cannot comment on the “regular folk” who get married young but I can comment on the young celebs who marry and it just always seems like a bad idea to me. Granted, Avril and Deryck “were together” for 6 1/2 years, she is now a divorcée at 24 … 24!!!! Well … I wish both Avril and Deryck the best of luck from here on out … mebbe their future marriages will be more successful.
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I guess I have two hearts about what you’ve commented on this entry, as well as the other about Avril and marriage. I was married at a young age, and happily remain married over 4 years now. One on hand, I think some people do rush into being married, but on the other I don’t see why such negative connotations are used with divorce.
I don’t understand why some people will date the same person for 4 years, break up and that’s ok, but if they were married for 4 years and divorce it’s a really sad tragic thing and they must not want to “work it out.”(ir they’ve failed)
People are ever-changing beings, and it doesn’t always work out. Whether you marry someone at 30 and think you know who you are, or 20 and still finding yourself, there are still going to be changes that you may not be able to “amend” or “overcome.”
As much as the traditionalist in me screams that marriage is sacred, I feel we have to acknowledge that it isn’t what it was 100, or even 50 years ago. It’s changed, but people still seem to think of divorce as failure despite break-ups from dating(short or long term) are acceptable.
Marriage is more like long-term dating. Sometimes it works out and people are together forever, and sometimes we discover that the person we’re with isn’t who or what we desire to be investing our time into.
No ring should imply success, and no divorce paper should imply failure.
@Jenn — Dating does not equal marriage. Marriage is a legally binding contract. In a world where some people are barred from being married, it’s a slap in the face to see how frivolous others treat the “sanctity” of marriage.
To summarize and bother more;
If she had only been dating Deryck for 6.5 years and just broke up, you’d say peace the spork out and how sad it is that they’re splitting up. Instead, due to a piece of paper and rings, you’ve decided it’s tragic and they must have made a mistake to begin with. How tragic and shocking that she’s a “divorcee” at 24……
Every relationship is worth it’s time – every relationship teaches you something new. Whether that’s a “marriage” relationship or a “dating” relationship, they should be valued the same.
Sometimes it works, sometimes not. All I can say is that both were smart and did not start a family. So with only the things in the house to split in half and I am sure she has a rock solid claim that he gets none of her monies if they say bye bye. Smart move girl no kids and you get to keep your money as I don’t think he has work since joining with you. Now he is going to have to work poor lad. Get a real job, the lady is tired of carrying your sorry ass
Frivolous! Marriage is a UNION, not just a legally binding contract!!! I wasn’t debating human rights at all. That’s a whole different topic in itself, which I also get quite heated about(it’s ridiculous that MY sister could serve in the military for years, now foster unwanted children, adopt them, yet her special needs child is being refused medical treatment in private hospitals due to a two-mom family!!).
I was not undermining the RIGHT to be married.
@Jenn — I didn’t say you were undermining anything, I’m not sure why you are getting heated. You’re right it’s a union but it is also a legally binding contract. Anyone entering in a legal contract with someone else, no matter the circumstances, should not do so unwittingly. As I plainly stated in my post, I’m not knocking anyone for marrying young — I just said I don’t personally understand it. Nothing that I have written is a personal attack on you, Jenn.
Trent what about the gay people who as soon as it was legal got married and i’ve heard more than one account that they have already got/getting divorced. you slam young people for getting married, it’s their choice and some people do it to prove how much they love each other.
@jamie — What about them? Why do you assume I would excuse anyone for entering into marriage frivolously. I’m very confused how you contend that I “slam young people” for getting married. I did no such thing. Just because I don’t personally understand it does by no means imply I am “slamming” it.
i’m only 19 and i can think of 3 or 4 of my peers that i went to high school with that are already divorced or getting their divorce papers handled. some have kids, which makes it even messier. i’ve been with my significant other longer than some of them had even known their spouse! it’s amazing to me how these kids can make such grown up decisions. i just want to scream, “SLOW DOWN! if you’re truly meant to be, you will still be together in like four years, THEN you can get married.” it’s like they have to get married before they break up or something so they can trap the boyfriend or prove just how in love they are… i don’t know… but then again, a lot of them married because they got pregnant, but they’d never admit that that’s the real reason. psh.
They marry young Trent cause it’s just that, they can. After dating for 4 years, the next step is to get married. Some people realize who they are at 21 and they think it’s a good idea to yes, legally get married. I’m 23 right now and I’ve been dating the same guy for 3+ years. For ME, I don’t want to be with anybody else, and through our relationship, I’ve done more self discovering through being with him then being single & going out to the bars. I agree with the fact that yes, its a legally binding contract, and yes, most celebs do treat marriage very frivolously. I think in THIS particular case, I don’t think it was frivolous, I believe they did love each other for years and then just moved in different directions. But overall, your point is taken and very much agreed upon.
I was 19 when my husband and I married and we just celebrated our 10 year anniversary. Do not for one minute think that I don’t understand that we were the exception to the rule. It was difficult and rocky and I believe that many others would have tapped out in the beginning years. We are in a fantastic place now and have one of the most functional and communicative marriages that I know. I believe however that if we had waited and had a “self-discovery” period like you adivse Trent, that perhaps a lot of the rocky beginning could have been avoided. I agree that waiting is important and I don’t understand why celebrities with their already complicated lives feel pressured to marry at such a young age!
In Utah(Where I live) There are a lot of young people getting married. The reason why is not because of ‘their love for one another’ but because they want to become more intimate. Also, here, when you are 18 and have a partner but you aren’t married, and have no plans of getting married a lot of people look down at you, or look at you with disgust. A lot of couples get married when they are old enough just for the fact that they want to become more intimate without people looking down on them . Then they end up not liking it, or they notice it isn’t as they pictured so they take the coward way out and get a divorce. When people do that, it bugs the crap out of me. A lot of people have their own opinions on the matter of marriage, their own beliefs on what it should and shouldn’t be about.
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Everyone is entitled to have their own beliefs on the matter, and you can argue till your blue in the face with someone who doesn’t agree with you. Yet, if they really support their beliefs then you won’t get anywhere. Marriage, like most things in life is something that will take a lot of work in order to work to remain married and happy until you are old in age. Most people now a days, take marriage to lightly. Like it was mentioned previously couples also get married because they don’t want to loose the one they ‘love’ so they either make sure they are pregnant to keep them tied to them(which usually has them get married too) or they go by some other extremes(I dated this one guy for a long time, because he kept saying that if I left him, he would kill himself)
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Some people out there think they need a significant other in order to be happy with life. Which is annoying too. You should learn to rely on yourself, to feel accomplished. Not to be in a relationship. Just because you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, or a spouse. The title doesn’t make you any more of a person you would be if you were single.
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people are beginning to confuse ‘lust’ with ‘love’ at this point. Also there are many other things that make a marriage not work out, or feel pressured. Its like as soon as your married, you have to have a child or you have to do this and that. Its bothersome. I doubt I will be getting married anytime soon, but that’s a personal thing to me. Its not that I don’t want to get married(though if I do, it will be just at a court*you know, just getting the marriage license signed) Cause, I think spending so much on a wedding and preparations for the wedding already put stress on the marriage when it hasn’t even begun XD I know a lot of this probably won’t make sense because my mind is kind of scattered right now ^^; so sorry if it just seems like I’m rambling. But hopefully, you guys get what I’m trying to say.
Marriage should be a life long commitment, when you know you are ready for it. N’ not just something to pass the time with, or a spur of the moment thing.
I’m with Trent, I don’t think it’s the best choice for people to get married young. I’m from Ohio, and everyone I knew from HS that stayed in Ohio is married with kids before 30. Everyone that pursued a career outside of the state is still unmarried or divorced. It is very difficult to be in a relationship when you are career driven. In the past 10 years, I’ve lived in Toronto, NYC, and Hong Kong following my career dreams. Young women evolve so much in their early 20′s… I’m almost 30 and I’m only now just figuring out who I am outside of my career. Personally, I’ve been so focused on climbing, following my dreams; that only now have I reached a point where I can pause and actually look around where I am. For a young career driven girl like Avril, or any of the Hollywood set, it’s just not very surprising that it wouldn’t work out. I also agree with you that dating does not equal marriage, and that when a marriage splits up, it is a big deal. The frivolity with which it is treated is sad, especially when this country regards it as a privilege that not everyone is entitled to.
Trent you are so right on! I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years (we are only 24) but we have known each other since we were 10. We arent married because even though we have been together so long, there is still so much to learn about one another and so much time to mature.
I do think that people take the right of marriage for granted by getting divorced so quickly after marriage. Sometimes things dont work out, yes, but people also need to take marriage seriously and not just do it on a whim or because of someone elses expectations.
Trent, I’m with you 100%. It’s not that I’m against young marriage, I just don’t understand it. And there is a lot, A LOT of frivolous marriages going on. And divorce is a tragedy EVERY TIME in some way. When a lot of these young marriages end in divorce they always claim it was because they were too young and didn’t know what they wanted.
I’m going to go ahead and say it: a lot of people are getting married to have a wedding, not a marriage. Marriage is a full time job and people should stop before buying that $1500 wedding dress to decide whether they can really love that person for life, going through all the boring moments, the bad moods, the celebrations and the intense emotions that come in life, especially pain.
The amount of legitimate cases I’ve heard where good marriages go foul and it’s nobodys fault are VERY few.
Like someone else said, basically if you will last together, you don’t need to get married so young! Not that I’m bashing it(my 19 year old friend will be married in 2 years) but if you wait longer to get married, it’s not as if you’re going anywhere…and if you are, then you weren’t meant to be married anyways! But if you do decide to get married later, it’s not as though any time was wasted, you were still together for the same number of years. You just have more time to really get to know one another and decide whether something that should be PERMANENT is right for you. And that’s really the same for any age.
I don’t care if they married too young I’ m still sad
As someone about to get married I’ve been thinking a great deal about the reasons to get married and the odds of divorce. I think a lot of times what it comes down to is each persons beliefs about marriage going into it. I don’t see the point of getting married if there is a chance of divorce whereas others don’t see anything wrong with divorce.
It also greatly depends on your family situation. Children of “intact” marriages have much greater odds of staying married than those of divorced parents. BUt then I think it also has to do with your feelings about your partner. In my experience, if you think about being with this person 10, 15 years in the future and doubt your happiness with your life with them at this point, that says a lot.
And Trent is absolutely right to feel how he feels about marriage in general. I don’t feel its right to treat divorce lightly at this point. When everyone has the right to marry then I would be fine with everyone defining and using divorce in their own individual ways. But as it stands now, its not right for people to get married if there is any thought that it might end in divorce. ESPECIALLY if you are against gay marriages. But thats opening up a whole ‘nother can of worms!
Trent’s not really taking a stand on whether young marriage is good or bad, right or wrong. ALL HE SAID IS HE PERSONALLY DOESN’T UNDERSTAND IT!!! Those that are “siding” with him or saying that he is “slamming” it are mistaken all together!
I was married at 19, he was my husband and my best friend. We went through great times and hard times but we never thought about divorce. He died when I was 39, 24 great years together. But we had to work at it.
i got married young…20 to be exact and we were only together a year before we decided to get married…and nope we werent pregnant!! yaaaay for me. anywho this december my husband chris and i will be married 5 years another yaaaaay. for some people its great some not so much. i read or hear about girls getting married at 19 and 20 and i think dang those girls are waaaay to young then i feel sorta like a hypocite. but to each his own, but my problem is that these couples seem to just divorce, there doesnt seem to be any outside help involved to trry and sent things straight and help them out.
i got married when i was 24; divorced last october after being married 8 years. we were engaged 6 months after meeting, married 6 months later. i agree w/ jenn about “No ring should imply success, and no divorce paper should imply failure.” — unfortunately for me, my ex-husband thought that that ring was a control device – like he had ownership over me. it took the divorce to wake him up. we are now back together & doing better than ever, for whatever that means to anyone – that is my situation & that’s how it worked out. for our kids’ sake, glad we are together. but i won’t be married to someone who thinks they own me b/c i have a ring from him/her on my finger. i was raised strict catholic, so divorce is a big no-no. but i did what i had to do. everyone’s situation is different, so who are we to judge?
My husband and I will be celebrating our first wedding anniversary next month. I’m only 20, so obviously, that means we got married when I was 19. I don’t think it matters what age you get married. What matters is who you are as a person. Some people are too immature at 19, while other could still be too immature at 35! My husband is 7 years older than me and he was previously married. His ex-wife is closer to his age, and she has to be one of the most immature women EVER!! She’s one of those people who will never be “old enough” or mature enough to marry, but as for me, I’m a wonderful family woman and my husband and I are really good at communicating with each other. But I do understand where you’re coming from, Trent. Some people do need their early twenties to develop their personality, maybe party a little. But there are people like me, who already have a strong sense of self. (Probably due to the fact that I never had many friends, so I had plenty of time to focus on myself. ELL OH ELL!)