"Every time I ... miss him and wonder where he's gone, I just look at [Matilda]"
Michelle Williams, actress and mother of the late Heath Ledger’s only child Matilda Rose, is featured on the cover and in the pages of the new issue of Vogue magazine. In her coverstory interview, Michelle talks about the loss of Heath and how she has managed to come to terms with his death in light of her happy relationship with director Spike Jonze. Here is Michelle’s coverphoto for Vogue magazine along with portions of her coverstory interview:
It’s been more than a year since Heath Ledger’s tragic death, and Michelle Williams is still dealing with the loss. “After the first year, the pain is less intense; it’s less immediate,” the actress tells the October issue of Vogue. “But the magical thinking goes away too. And that’s a whole new reckoning.” For some time after the death, Williams, 29, says she didn’t know what her boundaries were in regards to speaking about her former boyfriend, who died of an accidental drug overdose at the age of 28 in January 2008. “I can talk about grief because that’s mine, about single parenting, about trying to balance work and kids,” she said. “But what I don’t have to talk about is what happened between Heath and me in our relationship.” Williams and Ledger, who first met when they filmed “Brokeback Mountain,” had daughter Matilda Rose, now 3, during their three-year relationship. The couple amicably split in August 2007. “‘Brokeback Mountain’ was an unrepeatable moment in time, a very charmed time in my life,” she shared. “I was in love. I was in a movie I was proud to be a part of, and with a beautiful brand-new baby. Everything was good in that moment.” Sadly, the actress’ good times turned dark when Ledger passed. “I was holding it together by a string and a paper clip in the fall and winter,” she reveals. “I didn’t know if I could keep it all together… You console yourself by saying it’s all a deepening process. But it’s wired.” Williams says it is the couple’s daughter that has helped her through the grieving process. “Every time I really miss him and wonder where he’s gone, I just look at her,” she says. Another source of strength – and love – came to the actress last year when she began dating director Spike Jonze. “I thought falling in love again was the only thing that was going to save me from the pain,” she says. “This erroneous idea: It just makes things more complicated.” As for her future, Williams is looking forward to raising Matilda. “I feel hopeful and grateful,” she says. “For a while I thought we had lost everything. It makes you want to love better and live better.”
While I’m happy to hear that Michelle has gotten to a better coping space since Heath’s death, I don’t imagine that the pain of loss will ever be entirely gone. On the positive side, Matilda Rose will be a constant reminder of Heath’s incredible impact on the world and thru her, the best of him will live on. It’s great to see Michelle back in the swing of things … she looks pretty fantastic with this Mia Farrow short hair’do. After the jump, check out a few photos from Michelle’s Vogue magazine photospread …
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