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Paris Hilton wasted NO TIME getting over her break-up with Doug Reinhardt yesterday as she was seen canoodling with soccer stud Cristiano Ronaldo at a Hollywood club last night. Here’s a little time line just so you’ve got it all straight. Paris and Doug were happily attached on Tuesday of this week (and were talking marriage as recently as last week) … something went down at club The Darkroom on Tuesday night (where Paris may or may not have gotten her ass whipped by a Paris Hilton look-alike) … Paris announces that she has broken up with Doug on Wednesday afternoon (tho, she fails to tell him personally that he has been dumped until he reads about it in the press) … Paris hooks-up with Cristiano Wednesday night. Yup. Paris Hilton, ladies and gentleman. Here are a couple pics of Paris mackin’ on Ronaldo at club MyHouse last night:

How did Paris Hilton lure soccer stud Cristiano Ronaldo? Why show him her ass, of course! TMZ got these photos of Paris and Cristiano snuggling up at club MyHouse last night. A source close to Paris told us Ronaldo was staring at her all night before he finally went up to her. After he finally got the nerve to approach her, we’re told he couldn’t keep his hands off her and they eventually headed over to sister Nicky’s house. Our source said, “Paris is stoked to be with a real athlete — unlike her ex, a low-paid minor league baseball player.”

HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Classic! E! News‘s Ted Casablanca has more deets on what went down at The Darkroom on Tuesday night … and it sounds really juicy:

Team Paris went on the offensive yesterday, confirming the breakup while Doug was still busy blabbin’ that everything was “fine” between them. Score one for Ms. Hilton. One big theory from camp Doug is that she went psycho on his ass. Remember how we told you early yesterday that Brody and his crew (including Doug, too, we were later informed) were at Darkroom when a slew of skanks rolled in? Apparently, Paris decided to pop in on “guys’ night out” and was all but pleased about the scantly clad blondies vying for all the Hills dudes’ attention. Sources at the bar tell us Paris was “a raving lunatic” and threw a “handful of limes” at the girl talking to Doug, shoving her against a wall. Once the fight was broken up, Paris then started scratching and beating on Doug. He then called Paris a “fucking crazy bitch” before everything calmed down. Don’t mess with a Hilton scorned! Doug’s friends hightailed it out of there, and Paris and Doug left at the same time to “figure things out.” Meanwhile, Paris & Co. not only deny this account—provided to us by Darkroom witnesses—but they also claim that she dumped Doug after realizing he was a “publicity hound,” which left poor Dougy crying at her guarded gate. Oh the drama. Most likely, the fight at the bar happened, Doug realized he wouldn’t get his picture taken, like, ever again if he didn’t take Paris back and then she refused him. But that’s just an Awful Truth-issued scenario, mind you! What’s yours? Either way, we hear that Nicky, Conrad, Barron and the rest of the Hilton clan are thrilled D is finally out of the picture. We told you forever ago how much they all hated him, and nothing ever changed.

Alas … the course of true love never did run straight. It would seem that the love affair betwixt Pug Dilton truly has ended once and for all. He thinks she is a “fucking crazy bitch” and she thinks he is a “publicity hound”. Sniff. Ah well … it was tragic while it lasted.

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