Shia LaBeouf Confesses His Penile Short-Comings
Shia LaBeouf is featured in an interview in the new issue of Playboy magazine where he talks at some length (and with great detail) about his sexual awakening. In the process of his anecdotal storytelling, Shia inadvertently reveals that he is “not extremely well-endowed” in the nether region. Here is a portion of this new interview with Playboy mag:
In the new issue of Playboy, Shia talks — among other things — about the time he lost his virginity. “I was shaking in my boots,” he says about the romp, four years ago. “Getting naked was very strange. It was the first time I’d been naked in the light, in front of a girl, with no hiding place.” Things took a turn for the worse when Shia, who was pretending to be a Lothario, made the age-old mistake of trying to copy a porn he’d seen. “I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie…[It] put her at a weird angle, where I couldn’t get in correctly. I’m not extremely well-endowed … and clearly this wasn’t the move. And while that night might have been a disaster, the lady in question ended up dating Shia for a while, where she became his sex-instructor of sorts. “We had a lot of sex and would read the Kama Sutra together and do the wildest shit.”
Ah youth. Shia talks about much more than just his short-comings and his sexual awakening, he also talks about his injured hand (“Permanently f*ked. I’ll never be back to 100 percent or have full recovery.”), on how he used to masturbate on the set of Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (“I remember my trailer was set up in such a way that Cameron Diaz’s and Lucy Liu’s trailers were visible through my window, through this little shade I had. I’d put down the blackout shade just enough to have my eye peeping through … I’d be inside totally going at it. Just the thought of them changing in their trailers was enough to get me off.”) and hanging out with his fully nekkid mother (“The nudity was weird, especially when her friends came over. All of them would just be naked around the house. That was strange for me … You’ve got your little buds over, and Mom’s, like, playing naked connect the dots or whatever.”). Hahahaha … oh yes, this interview is a treasure trove of fun information. You can read more excerpt from Shia’s Playboy interview HERE but you’ll have to pick up the actual magazine to read it in full.
Tags: Playboy Magazine, Shia LaBeouf
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May 15th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
So let me get this straight – not only does he have an Oedipus complex, but he also has a teeny weenie?
May 15th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
It’s not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean.
May 15th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Wow. Who would actually make this kind of stuff public?
May 15th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Word, Jadedkitten. I’ve had a couple shorties and found they worked harder. Sometimes the owner of a dinghy shows you a better time than the man with a yacht.
May 15th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Whoa, Shia, people have inner censors for a reason!
May 15th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
He has said wayy too much!
May 15th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Maybe I am just a perv, but I find this pretty dang funny. Guys and their habits are just hysterical!
May 15th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
welll….. all he says is that he is not’extremely well endowed” meaning he is just normal? Who knows. At least he was honest, right?
May 15th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
A little overshare-y but hey, at least he spoke honestly and didn’t front; the mom thing is creepy as hell though.
May 15th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
overshare
May 15th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
less is def more sometimes.
oh wait i was talking about his overshare (as baldouting put it). not his peen.
May 15th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Hilarious
May 15th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Just because hes not extremely well endowed or ‘hung like a horse’ doesnt me that hes not regularly endowed if that made any sense. you dont have to have a 10 in peen to please a woman… i just saying.
May 15th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
TMI
May 15th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
i still wouldnt kick him out of my bed :)
May 16th, 2009 at 1:10 am
Jadedkitten and Niki: Amen, sisters! If only some men would stop obsessing about the size, and learn how to use the damn thing, their partners (male or female) would be a lot happier.
As for Shia – he’s not my speed, whatever his “endowment”, but he really does need to filter. He’s just feeding the unhealthy obsession we have about the private lives of celebrities, and he’ll regret being so open when information like this is used against him later. Also, that bit where he talked about jacking off to his co-stars was really, really unprofessional. I know he was young at the time, and I don’t blame the guy for succumbing to his natural urges, but he should keep the details to himself.
May 16th, 2009 at 6:40 am
Def the most revealing interview I’ve ever read. I won’t forget him in a hurry (nude mum, mastibatory habits and penis-size will be permanently imprinted on my mind) – maybe that was the point?
May 16th, 2009 at 7:04 am
I wonder what Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu are thinking right about now….
May 16th, 2009 at 8:34 am
@Krissy: I agree with you! All of his interviews are so hilarious. I should be disturbed by the detailed information, but I’m not haha. He’s got a talent for turning real life incidences into well narrated stories.
May 16th, 2009 at 9:55 am
This is hysterical! These are not that shocking considering that it’s for Playboy. And the part about his mother is probably taken out of context.
May 16th, 2009 at 10:25 am
Amen Deb, talking about his co-stars like that is.. uh.. unprofessional and just not cool… ew
Meream – there’s only so much you can take something out of context… i dunno what context would make it less weird that he’s seen his mom and her friends totally naked
May 16th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
I like Shia, what you see is what you get. I think thats refreshing. :)
May 16th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
i sure hope cameron diaz and lucy liu won’t feel violated in any way!
May 16th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
I love Shia! He is so fresh. I specially liked the comment about jerking off to Cameron and Lucy hahahaha he’s da bomb! I speak freely about my sexuality like that so I like a man that feels comfortable talking about it, it is not murder, it is just… sex!!
I don’t think he’s got a tiny tiny pennis, I think he’s just being humble. If u do have a tiny dinghy u don’t talk about it so naturally, men are so obsessed about that. He probably is just a normal size. I would so get it on with him.
May 16th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Meh, it’s Playboy. I’ll save my righteous indignation for when he says that kind of stuff to Vanity Fair.
May 16th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
hahaha. he’s really funny. i love people who share tmi.
May 16th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
People, I don’t think him seeing his mom and her friends is that weird at all. It’s just a human body, get over it.
May 16th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
Yeah but how is Drew Barrymore feeling? Probably pretty left out that he wasn’t masturbating to her! Haha!
May 17th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
Maybe its the French in him being so open and honest about his sexuality.
Also, I had a b/f w/ a tank of a penis and he was beyond lousy in bed.
My husband is average/small but I get off w/ him almost each time; so size doesn’t matter at all.
My mom was always naked its weird when u grow up in a naked house; that’s all I can really say about that.
May 18th, 2009 at 5:45 am
He should date Megan Fox and then they can overshare sexual info together. They’s be like the new Billy Bob and Angelina!
May 18th, 2009 at 9:08 am
word shia. i like my men with no shame.