In China, David Beckham Battles Male Impotency
OMG … this has to be the funniest story EVER! David Beckham, Keanu Reeves and Sean Connery (!!!) all appear in a Chinese advertisement for a male enhancement capsule called USA Selikon which suggests that men who take these capsules are better able to please their women in the sack. Unfortch for these celebs, their images are used without their consent and the quotes that are attributed to them are totally fabricated by the advertisers. Here is a screencap from the USA Selikon commercial that shows Becks “talking” about how the capsules help him “satisfy” his wife Victoria and some more info about the unauthorized advert:
The footballer David Beckham is said to be furious after television adverts in China were aired which had him appearing and endorsing a Chinese impotence medication. In the advertisement a voice over claims that the medication called USA Selikon capsules are David’s ‘secret weapon’ which he uses to ‘satisfy Victoria’. The voice over also claims that these tablets also keep him strong and help him on the football field. It is not known what the USA Selikon capsules actually contain and whether they have approval from the relevant drug authorities in China but like many impotence medications coming from China it could be that they contain the key ingredient of the erectile dysfunction drug Viagra. Pfizer, who make Viagra have had legal battles stretching the over a decade regarding the patent of Viagra in China. While they have won the fight in the courts they are still losing market share to illegal factories producing fake versions of Viagra which have sprouted up all over the Chinese mainland. David Beckham isn’t the only famous celebrity to have been targeted in these advertisements as apparently Keanu Reeves and Sean Connery have also been seen on Chinese TV advertising erectile dysfunction medication. The legal system in China is a minefield of bureaucracy and therefore most of the companies get away with using the images of movie stars and celebrities to endorse their products. As with any medication if you use something which is endorsed by a celebrity to treat erectile dysfunction you are likely to get yourself into trouble. Celebrities do not understand medication, only doctors do, and therefore you should only get help for erectile dysfunction only from a doctor. Doctors can prescribe the erectile dysfunction medications Viagra, Cialis and Levitra if they feel they could help you. In some cases your erectile dysfunction could be caused by something other than a blood flow restriction to the penile artery and therefore these drugs would not work for you. Understanding what your erectile dysfunction is being caused by is essential before you get treatment.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! This is some funny shizz. Here is the full rough translation of the “quotes” used in the commercial that have been attributed to David Beckham:
“Want to know how I can keep being strong and running on the football field? USA Selikon capsules help me a lot. It’s also the secret weapon with which I can satisfy Victoria.”
Here’s the “quote” from Sean Connery:
“I turned 70 this year. But with the help of USA Selikon capsules, I was praised by Barbara that I’m still THE James Bond, forever 25. I have told all my aged friends, you should try USA Selikon capsules.”
And the “quote” from Keanu Reeves:
“The feelings after my kidneys got washed by USA Selikon capsules are surprising. And my girlfriends were also surprised.”
LOLOLOL! I really love this! While we wait for the inevitable lawsuits to make their way thru the Chinese legal system, let’s watch the actual commercial itself. After the jump, check it out …
Uhhh … this just makes my life. Best.Commercial.Ever. See, David Beckham can sell anything. Next to the Snuggie infomercial, this might be my fave commercial of all time :)
[Source, Source]
Tags: David Beckham, Keanu Reeves, Sean Connery, USA Selikon
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February 24th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
LOL its even funnier if u understand mandarin! ha brills!
February 24th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
@c — are the translations pretty accurate? I just copy-pasted them from another source. i have to know if the keanu translation about his excited kidneys is accurate :)
February 24th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Dear!
February 24th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
this is hilarious! and isn’t keanu reeves gay anyway?
February 24th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
I’m not sure if the Keanu quote is funny or just plain disturbing…
February 24th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Well here’s a slightly more accurate translation of what Keanu said, you’ve pretty much gotten the gist anyway:
“It’s awesome – the cleansing effect of Selikon on the kidneys! It brought me some surprises real fast. Of course, these surprises belong to my girlfriends as well.”
Heee-larious.
February 24th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
That’s hilarious, but Trent I gotta say I’m a little disappointed in the advertising to the max on the side banners here. I know Papa’s gotta pay the bills, but damn!
February 25th, 2009 at 7:58 am
@trent- like what Gab said, it is not tots correct, but they got the gist of it :)
February 25th, 2009 at 8:07 am
OMG they are going to get their asses sued by these celebrities!!!
February 25th, 2009 at 9:30 am
i KNEW vicki wasn’t gettin any, that’s why she’s so dang stiff
February 25th, 2009 at 10:02 am
lol, and sean bean isn’t 70!
February 25th, 2009 at 10:02 am
oops my bad lol
February 25th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Poor Keanu! At least David and Sean already have wives but Keanu is still single. This will kill his sex-symbol image for sure and he’ll have a hard time finding a woman now. No woman is going to want a man who can’t get it up without drugs even if that man is the ONE himself. lol
I know it’s not true and all but the damage has already been done. People are laughing and poking fun of the celebrities and some naive ones actually believe this type of crap. Now besides Keanu being referred to as a terrible actor, he’ll now be referred to as terrible in bed. His pretty face isn’t going to get him out of this bind like it has in the past where his success is concerned. He might as well pack it in and become a hobo. Poor, poor Keanu.
February 25th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Jeff, you probably wish that happens to Keanu because your girlfriend or wifey is hot over him, right?
February 25th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
The footage in this commercial of Keanu is taken from the documentary about the making of The Matrix films (I believe it’s called The Matrix Revisited). In the background you can see the martial arts trainers and actors practicing. Unbelievable.
February 26th, 2009 at 10:27 am
Good observation Gean, I didn’t even notice until you mentioned it. Geez, you would think the Chinese would notice that since The Matrix movies were such a big hit there, or wait..was that Japan?
March 1st, 2009 at 7:52 am
“It’s awesome – the cleansing effect of Selikon on the kidneys! It brought me some surprises real fast. Of course, these surprises belong to my girlfriends as well.”
LMFAO! You know, I can see people believing Keanu would have said this because he is considered not the brightest bulb in the bunch to a lot of people.
March 2nd, 2009 at 3:01 pm
It’s funny how this story was mainly supposed to be about David and all the comments here are cenetered around Keanu. The critics can say Keanu sucks as an actor all they want, freedom of speech, but there is no denying that Keanu is an icon and a popular star…these comments are proof. He gets people talking whether is be good press or bad, when you can generate talk about you, you know you’ve made it into complete stardom.