OMG … this has to be the funniest story EVER! David Beckham, Keanu Reeves and Sean Connery (!!!) all appear in a Chinese advertisement for a male enhancement capsule called USA Selikon which suggests that men who take these capsules are better able to please their women in the sack. Unfortch for these celebs, their images are used without their consent and the quotes that are attributed to them are totally fabricated by the advertisers. Here is a screencap from the USA Selikon commercial that shows Becks “talking” about how the capsules help him “satisfy” his wife Victoria and some more info about the unauthorized advert:

The footballer David Beckham is said to be furious after television adverts in China were aired which had him appearing and endorsing a Chinese impotence medication. In the advertisement a voice over claims that the medication called USA Selikon capsules are David’s ‘secret weapon’ which he uses to ‘satisfy Victoria’. The voice over also claims that these tablets also keep him strong and help him on the football field. It is not known what the USA Selikon capsules actually contain and whether they have approval from the relevant drug authorities in China but like many impotence medications coming from China it could be that they contain the key ingredient of the erectile dysfunction drug Viagra. Pfizer, who make Viagra have had legal battles stretching the over a decade regarding the patent of Viagra in China. While they have won the fight in the courts they are still losing market share to illegal factories producing fake versions of Viagra which have sprouted up all over the Chinese mainland. David Beckham isn’t the only famous celebrity to have been targeted in these advertisements as apparently Keanu Reeves and Sean Connery have also been seen on Chinese TV advertising erectile dysfunction medication. The legal system in China is a minefield of bureaucracy and therefore most of the companies get away with using the images of movie stars and celebrities to endorse their products. As with any medication if you use something which is endorsed by a celebrity to treat erectile dysfunction you are likely to get yourself into trouble. Celebrities do not understand medication, only doctors do, and therefore you should only get help for erectile dysfunction only from a doctor. Doctors can prescribe the erectile dysfunction medications Viagra, Cialis and Levitra if they feel they could help you. In some cases your erectile dysfunction could be caused by something other than a blood flow restriction to the penile artery and therefore these drugs would not work for you. Understanding what your erectile dysfunction is being caused by is essential before you get treatment.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! This is some funny shizz. Here is the full rough translation of the “quotes” used in the commercial that have been attributed to David Beckham:

“Want to know how I can keep being strong and running on the football field? USA Selikon capsules help me a lot. It’s also the secret weapon with which I can satisfy Victoria.”

Here’s the “quote” from Sean Connery:

“I turned 70 this year. But with the help of USA Selikon capsules, I was praised by Barbara that I’m still THE James Bond, forever 25. I have told all my aged friends, you should try USA Selikon capsules.”

And the “quote” from Keanu Reeves:

“The feelings after my kidneys got washed by USA Selikon capsules are surprising. And my girlfriends were also surprised.”

LOLOLOL! I really love this! While we wait for the inevitable lawsuits to make their way thru the Chinese legal system, let’s watch the actual commercial itself. After the jump, check it out …

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Earlier today we saw some semi-disturbing photos of a very skinny Lindsay Lohan posing for a new photoshoot with photographer Hedi Slimane … but this afternoon, we have a couple new photos to check out. Here are pics of Lindsay returning to girlfriend Samantha Ronson’s home after making a quick trip to pick up some food at McDonald’s:

Granted, McD’s isn’t the healthiest food option out there but food is food. Shoot, even I’ve been known to partake of their lovely Chicken McNuggets on occasion :) My hope is that Lindsay is at least eating on a very regular basis and she’s not merely delivering food to Sam. Linds really looks as if she has slimmed down considerably (which is very evident in the photos we saw earlier today) and it is worrisome. I really love Linds, I like seeing her succeed … I just hope that she remains serious about keeping her life on track. Keep eating, girl … I, for one, miss your curves and would love to see you get your groove back.

[Photo credit: X17]

Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Billy Crudup, Malin Ackerman, Watchmen illustrator Dave Gibbons and more were on hand in Odeon Leicester Square in London, England last night for the UK premiere of the new big screen adaptation of the graphic novel masterpiece Watchmen. Here are a few photos from the event’s red carpet:

The $120 million comic book adaptation “Watchmen,” one of 2009’s most eagerly awaited films, premiered in London Monday, aiming to repeat the success of superhero hits like “Iron Man” and “The Dark Knight.” The red carpet launch of the special effects-laden action thriller is the culmination of years of to-ing and fro-ing over scripts, budgets and, finally, a legal dispute between rival Hollywood studios. Directed by Zack Snyder, whose “300″ was a box office winner in 2007, Watchmen is based on a 1986 comic book series of the same name written by Briton Alan Moore and illustrated by compatriot Dave Gibbons. As with other movies based on his stories, Moore has distanced himself from the film, which hits cinemas in Britain and the United States on March 6. Asked if Moore was likely to watch the movie, deemed “unfilmable” by some in the business, Snyder told Reuters: “Look, you know Alan has famously said ‘I don’t want anything to do with it’ and I just try and respect that as much as I can.” Watchmen is set in an alternate 1985 United States, where the “Doomsday Clock” charting U.S. tensions with the Soviet Union, is permanently set at five minutes to midnight. When one of his former colleagues is found murdered, masked vigilante Rorschach sets out to uncover a plot to kill and discredit all superheroes, both past and present. The film contains scenes of sex and violence, earning it an R rating in the United States meaning under-17s can only see it with a parent or adult guardian, limiting its commercial potential. Snyder said the success of “300,” his ultra-violent depiction of the legendary battle between Spartans and Persians at Thermopylae in 480 B.C., had given him more freedom. “I think that ‘300′ really helped us to say, okay, look, it can be rated R.” The fate of the film was in doubt until last month, when studios Warner Bros and News Corp’s Twentieth Century Fox reached a settlement in a copyright infringement dispute. Warner Bros, a unit of Time Warner Inc, produced the film, but Fox sued Warner last year to stop its release. Fox, which acquired the rights to the “Watchmen” story in 1986, claimed it had a continuing stake in the project. Warner was also behind The Dark Knight, the Batman sequel which was last year’s biggest grossing film globally with ticket sales of $1 billion.

At last … Watchmen has its first official premiere … the long-awaited big screen adaptation is finally upon us. I’ve done my best to stay away from spoilers and extended film clips mainly because I don’t want to be spoiled by what I read and see before I can see the movie for myself (plus, I’m still reading Watchmen … I need to finish it soon). That said, I’m very concerned by the mixed reviews that I have stumbled upon. Last week, I read some bits of a review written by a fan (not a “credentialed reviewer”) and it was not very complimentary. As for the “official” reviews from the media … well, they are a mix of good and worrisome:

Directed by Zack Snyder, whose “300″ was a box office winner in 2007, Watchmen is based on a 1986 comic book series of the same name written by Briton Alan Moore and illustrated by compatriot Dave Gibbons. Critics gave it mixed reviews, with several predicting approval from the hardcore comic book fan fraternity. How it plays to a wider audience, however, will be more important to its commercial prospects. “For those just watching Watchmen for the Watchmen, without any expectations or knowledge of the comic’s storyline or historical importance, this really will be a blast,” wrote Mike Ragogna in the internet newspaper The Huffington Post. But Robbie Collin, of Britain’s top-selling tabloid weekly News of the World, disagreed: “This two-and-a-half-hour wannabe pop culture epic isn’t the worst superhero movie ever made … But it is one of the most spirit-crushingly disappointing,” he said. As with other movies based on his stories, Moore has distanced himself from the film, which hits cinemas in Britain and the United States on March 6. Asked if Moore was likely to watch the movie, deemed “unfilmable” by some in the business, Snyder told Reuters: “Look, you know Alan has famously said ‘I don’t want anything to do with it’ and I just try and respect that as much as I can.”

See, I’m not so much worried about what the negative reviews say (because, honestly, many reviewers like to be negative so that they can garner a little press) but I am concerned that author Alan Moore doesn’t want “anything to do” with the film. HMM. I really believe that people are going to love it and people are going to hate it … just like every other movie ever made … and it will be up to individuals to make that determination for themselves. I am looking forward to seeing this film, not the least of which because this film promises the first fully-frontal nekkid male character — in CGI. I mean, I’m also interested in seeing this masterpiece of graphic novelness brought to life on the big screen but … CGI p33n is where it’s at ;)

[Photo credit: Wireimage; Source, Source]

Blah … another Hollywood couple bites the dust. US Weekly is reporting that the fairytale romance between Transformers hottie Megan Fox and Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (and former Beverly Hills, 90210) star Brian Austin Green has reportedly “run its course”. The couple have called off their engagement and are now dunzo!

Megan Fox and fiance Brian Austin Green have split, Usmagazine.com has learned. “The relationship had run its course,” an insider tells Us exclusively. “It’s completely amicable, and they are remaining friends.” Fox, 22 (who’ll reprise her role as Mikaela in this June’s sequel Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen), and Green, 35 (a regular on Fox’s Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles), now “are both focusing on their careers,” the source adds … The couple — who have tattoos of each other’s names — met in 2004 and, as Us first reported, got engaged in November 2006. Last November, Fox told Us that the wedding plans were still on. “It’s not going to be a big wedding,” she told Us at a GQ bash. “I’m not one of those girls. If it happens, it will be very low-key and quick and unplanned.” She said she and Green — who has a 6-year-old son, Kassius, from a previous relationship — haven’t talked about wanting more kids. “I feel like I need to set my career and do a movie other than Transformers,” she said. “Then I’ll explore family.” Green laughed off split rumors last year. “The last thing we do is get upset,” he told Us. “We usually go have dinner and have a glass of wine and laugh about it.” Asked last July what he loves most about Fox, he told Us, “Everything is my favorite thing about her.”

Boo … well that sucks. I remember when these two got together, Brian Austin Green was the “big name” in the relationship. In the years since, Megan has made a name for herself and is now prolly the more famous of the two. Truth be told, I really liked these two together. My friends and I even ran into the couple together at the mall in Century City a few weeks ago … they looked happy — then. But, alas, all good things must … well, you know. Sad news about these two. Here’s hoping they’ll be able to find love again sometime soon.

[Source]

Soccer diva David Beckham was on hand for an in-store appearance at a promotional event in downtown Milan, Italy this week for the unveiling of a new Adidas soccer shoe named in his honor. Here are a few photos of Becks, wearing his temporary AC Milan uniform, at an Adidas Store in Milan to officially unveil the Adidas Predator Power Swerve DB soccer boot:

He sure does look smiley, no? While Becks maintains that he is still optimistic that the LA Galaxy will release him from his soccer contract with them so he can jump ship to play permanently with AC Milan, the news isn’t really going his way these days. AC Milan has run out of money and confesses that they will not raise their monetary offer to the Galaxy to buy out his contract and are starting to come to grips that they might not get to keep their new golden boy. The only way it could happen now is if Becks chips in some of his own money to buy out his contract … which he very well may still do. While I feel it’s kinda shitty for him to bail on his soccer team to run off to Milan, I’d be cool with it if the Galaxy were paid back the money they’d lose by losing Becks. Ahhh … so much soccer drama. Hopefully Becks will be able to sell enough of these new fancy shoes to buy out his contract … otherwise, he’ll have be dragged back to SoCal kicking and screaming.

[Photo credit: Bauer-Griffin]

Welp, I made it back home to Detroit safe and sound … and happily found my mom in pretty good spirits considering her injuries. She has some brusing on her face from her fall but she is generally looking better than I feared she might look. I landed at 5AM in 9 degree weather … but it is very good to be able to be with my mom right now :)

Let me tell you about how amazing my BFF Sarah is … not only was she willing to wake up at 5AM to pick me up from the airport but she did so happily and excited to have me home. That’s a true friend, y’all. It’s great to be home, if only for a few days, to see my parents and my BFF :)

It’s cold here so I’ll prolly not be doing much. I came home to see my mom and that’s about all I have planned. I leave for LA on Thursday afternoon so I want to spend as much time with my mom as I can as she recuperates from her fall.

Thank you all so much for the warm messages for my mom … it means so much that so many of y’all were kind enough to send your good thoughts and vibes.

• Detroit, MI goes to the polls to vote in the first Mayoral primary since former mayor Kwame Kilpatrick was removed from office in criminal shame.
• The Octuplet Mom takes some harsh criticism … from her own mother.
• Mischa Barton doesn’t worry about her weight.
• Papa Jamie Spears calls Britney’s former manager, Osama Sam Lutfi, a predator.
• Audrina Patridge got robbed on Oscar night. UPDATE: Now with VIDEO.
• INXS is, once again, front-manless.
• There’s a new kid on the Banksy block.
• If the US version of Big Brother had contestants who looked like THIS, I’d deffo be tuning in each week.
• Fame is the name of the game … er, movie.
• YSL still fetches a pretty penny.
• Did Beyoncé slip a nip on the Oscar stage?
• Eliza Dushku reveals herself to be an alien.
• Rachel Bilson shows off her engagement bling.
• Sean Penn and ex-wife Madonna are still txt buddies.
• Billy Zane is 43, Edward James Olmos (Battlestar Galactica) is 62 and Abe Vigoda is 88 years old today. Click HERE to see who else is celebrating a birthday today.
• Stevie Wonder gets honored in Washington DC.
• Faith No More to reunite.
• Kiefer Sutherland reportedly falls off the wagon at Elton John’s Oscar Party.