Madonna Denies Plans To Commit Herself To Jesus

"This is completely and totally not true"

Contrary reports that came out earlier this week that claimed that the father of Jesus Luz told Quem magazine that his son and Madonna were planning to have a Kabbalah commitment ceremony of some kind, In Touch Weekly is reporting that Madonna‘s longtime spokesperson Liz Rosenberg is denying that any such ceremony will take place. Damnit! And I already bought the happy couple a toaster:


Despite whispers of wedding bells, Madonna and her boy toy Jesus Luz have no plans to marry, a rep for the singer tells In Touch. “This is completely and totally not true,” her spokesperson says. Reports emerged on May 14 that the 22-year-old Brazilian hunk’s father, Luis Heitor Pinto da Luz, announced that his model son and the Material Girl, 50, would tie the knot in a Kabbalah service in New York. “The ceremony [that] will link up my son Jesus Luz and Madonna only confirms that he is extremely happy,” he allegedly told Brazilian magazine Quem. The star’s rep further denies that the proud papa spoke at all about the alleged nuptials to the mag. “Jesus’ father didn’t make any statement on this subject,” she adds. Madonna, who split from husband Guy Ritchie last fall, started dating her much-younger boyfriend in December.

HMMM. I don’t believe that Daddy Luz said anything about a wedding, just that there may be some sort of ceremony. He went on to say:

“I don’t know if there will, in fact, be a real marriage between Madonna and my son. It will be a type of ritual, but I do not know kabbalah [or if the ceremony] will have legal validity.”

I suppose it could still be interpreted that Madonna‘s rep is denying a wedding but not necessarily denying another kind of ceremony. Tho, I find it all highly unlikely. Madge just got out of a long and, it now seems, unhappy marriage. That she would jump right back in and get into another commitment so soon after her last split is ridic. Tho, stranger things have happened. Ah well, I guess I’ll have to take my toaster gift back for a refund. Thankfully, Target has a painless return policy.

[Photo credit: Splash News; Source]

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  1. Janelle

    I never grow tired of your puns, Trent. :)

  2. Carlos Surget

    From Argentina:
    Sorry brazilian bitch…your bank account…I mean your heart …whatever….must be soooo sad.

  3. Madonna and Jesus. Still so awk.

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