As you may have heard a couple of days ago, Paris Hilton‘s home was pilfered of about $2 million in jewels and, at long last, Paris Hilton is finally speaking out about the heinous crime. Talking exclusively to Life & Style magazine, Paris opens up and reveals how this burglary has deeply affected her person:

Paris Hilton exclusively tells Life & Style she’s “devastated” by the burglary of over $2 million worth of baubles from her LA home between late Thursday evening and 4 a.m. Friday. “I am devastated. I cannot believe someone broke into my home. They took items that had such sentimental value that no one will ever be able to replace,” she tells Life & Style. “I’m just thankful that I wasn’t there when it happened.” The heiress was out partying in LA when her home was broken into. An insider tells Life & Style that “millions of dollars of jewelry was stolen — diamonds, necklaces, rings, watches and family heirlooms from her grandmothers.” Luckily, though, the insider says the thief was caught on tape. “Paris has surveillance cameras set up in every room,” says the insider, who’s seen the tapes. “The thief was wearing a black hoody and knew exactly where to go, like he’s been there before.” Taking no risks, “Paris has upped her security team to three 24-hour bodyguards, and she has someone on her property at all times,” adds the insider. “Detectives are doing a huge investigation.”

Um, is anyone else *shocked* that Paris Hilton has video surveillance cameras in every single room of her home? I mean, really? I guess when the mood strikes to get bizzy in any part of her house, she’ll always have a record of her exploits … sounds like a pretty sweet set-up … you know, in a I really have zero interest in ever seeing what kind of footage she has on that camera sort of way. In any event, I suppose it was a good thing that Paris loaded up her home with cameras cuz mebbe we’ll be finding out who the hoodlum thief is. Wouldn’t it be fabulous and totally sad if the burglar turned out to be one of her higher profile friends? If the thief rummaged thru her home as if they’d were familiar with her home … I guess it could be any of the loser hangers-on that she tends to consort with (hey, where was Cisco Adler on the night of the robbery? Oh yeah, he’s got an alibi). It’s kinda hard to feel all that sorry for someone as rich and spoiled as Paris Hilton but the thought of treasured heirlooms handed down to her by her grandmothers being stolen is kinda sad. This’ll teach the Hilton family to entrust Paris with the family jewels. Actually, I think this proves that Paris shouldn’t be trusted with family jewels of any kind.

See how the jokes kinda write themselves? ;)

[Photo credit: INFdaily; Source]